How long has he been around?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have access to a mountain cabin for a long weekend. We invited my wife’s brother, sister, and their respective significant others to join us. Her sister cannot attend but her sister’s boyfriend has since reached out to indicate that he would like to come. We do not want him to come without my sister-in-law and think it is odd that they assumed he was invited to come on his own. Yes, my sister-in-law knows and is encouraging him to go without her. My brother-in-law says if we invited one we invited both and the boyfriend is not wrong to accept the invitation on his own. Are we obligated to include him?

—Plus One

charlotte989875

Yah, how long have they been together? And why don't they want him to come?

I don't think it is weird, especially if they know him. Might be a good way to spend some time with someone who is very close to the sister.

Heffalump

I could see how it might be potentially awkward if they haven't met him, but he was invited and he accepted, so they need to deal.

kimmiinthemitten

I always find people who find the negative in everything strange.  They had two ways to view his RSVP:

1.  How nice that X wants to hang out with us even when sis isn't around or
2.  How strange that he still wants to come

short+sassy

Like @charlotte989875, my response to this letter would depend on the circumstances.  If the sister and b/f have been together a long time and everyone knows each other well, I think it would be really hurtful to tell him no. 

If he's fairly new and/or they have only met him a few times, than it does come off odd and I could understand why they wouldn't want him to come.  Even assuming he is a nice guy that they like.

Even with the second scenario, would it really be that big a deal, though?  The more, the merrier!  Like @kimmiinthemitten mentioned, it would be a chance to get to know him.  Even a "new guy" might already be picturing a long future with sis.

glasgowtolondon

I might be a bit surprised since I don't think I would ever do that myself, but I'd never even contemplate uninviting him. How do they think that will go, exactly?!

levioosa

I go out with SO's siblings all the time without him.  I don't really enjoy the type of trips they go on, especially without SO, which is the only reason I haven't gone on a Vegas trip or something with them.  But I'm always invited.  Maybe LW feels weird because it will be all couples and then sister's BF? 

MesmrEwe

Another vote for "Depends on how long he's been in the picture"...