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Knottie1430153505

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[Deleted User]

Ok, access to the beach/ceremony site I can concede is a legitimate concern. 

But everything else, what? If your ceremony is on the beach, how are those blocks going to be in your wedding photos? Why can't you just take photos not directly in front of them? I don't see issue. Many people get married in areas where the general vicinity is not as picturesque as they'd like and manage to make it work. Just give your photographer a heads up so they can work around it. Also, it's not really that bad in the photo. 

Now admittantly, I don't live in a hurricane area, but if they put those there to mitigate effects of a hurricane, it's probably pretty important for them to stay there in case another one comes. It's expensive to place and remove those. And it seems pretty selfish of you to disregard general public safety just for your wedding. I highly doubt anyone from the city will care when your FI calls. I used to work for my municipality and I am picturing a lot of eye rolling at a request like. It's a public space. You definitely do not have any leverage in your request. And they are there for a reason. At best, they might move them temporarily or paint them if you agree to pay for the costs. 

I suggest a step back and look at the big picture of the whole world and where your wedding fits in. Try to figure out how grandma will get to the ceremony site (can someone of it her chair over the blocks?) and focus on what you can control. 

Knottie1430153505

Thanks for your opinions, but I am looking for others who are getting married here to see what they think. If these concrete blocks were needed for safety reasons then they would be there year round, or every hurricane season, which they are not. They were added as a last minute protection for the building for a storm that never came to our area. I happen to do research on shoreline protection and restoration, so I understand their purpose.

My issue is that this is not what I signed up for when I chose my venue over a year ago, and paid the deposit. They could have at least let us know that there was a change to the venue, prior to today, which is less than a month till my wedding.

Still interested in hearing from other couples who are getting married at LPP

missJeanLouise

Is your deposit for a specific spot on the beach or just beach access? Where is the nearest entrance to the beach for your grandma? I really don't see the city paying people to remove and replace concrete for your wedding so I think you should try to figure a best case work around.

MairePoppy

Knottie1430153505 said:

Thanks for your opinions, but I am looking for others who are getting married here to see what they think. If these concrete blocks were needed for safety reasons then they would be there year round, or every hurricane season, which they are not. They were added as a last minute protection for the building for a storm that never came to our area. I happen to do research on shoreline protection and restoration, so I understand their purpose.

My issue is that this is not what I signed up for when I chose my venue over a year ago, and paid the deposit. They could have at least let us know that there was a change to the venue, prior to today, which is less than a month till my wedding.

Still interested in hearing from other couples who are getting married at LPP.

I responded on the CT board. Why are you spamming so many boards with this question. The CT board will most likely net you local brides if there are any community members marrying at LPP. Chit Chat, Wedding Woes, 911 are all international boards. It's unlikely that you'll find many posters on international boards who are familiar with your venue, although they may offer some suggestions on dealing with the wall.

I understand the venue looks different from when you signed your contract. That's what happens when you're dealing with the elements. They are protecting the antique carousel. Hurricane season is not over for at least another month so the wall is probably there to stay. 

CMGragain

Knottie1430153505 said:

Thanks for your opinions, but I am looking for others who are getting married here to see what they think. If these concrete blocks were needed for safety reasons then they would be there year round, or every hurricane season, which they are not. They were added as a last minute protection for the building for a storm that never came to our area. I happen to do research on shoreline protection and restoration, so I understand their purpose.

My issue is that this is not what I signed up for when I chose my venue over a year ago, and paid the deposit. They could have at least let us know that there was a change to the venue, prior to today, which is less than a month till my wedding.

Still interested in hearing from other couples who are getting married at LPP

How rude.
When you post on an open forum, you should be ready for any opinions and comments, based on what you have posted.  In your original post, I mostly sense worry about your photos, and having the perfect wedding.
I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but when you are so rude to one of our nicest members, you have lost my sympathy.

crowsgirl15

Knottie1430153505 said:

Thanks for your opinions, but I am looking for others who are getting married here to see what they think. If these concrete blocks were needed for safety reasons then they would be there year round, or every hurricane season, which they are not. They were added as a last minute protection for the building for a storm that never came to our area. I happen to do research on shoreline protection and restoration, so I understand their purpose.

My issue is that this is not what I signed up for when I chose my venue over a year ago, and paid the deposit. They could have at least let us know that there was a change to the venue, prior to today, which is less than a month till my wedding.

Still interested in hearing from other couples who are getting married at LPP

As PPs have mentioned, access to the beach is a legitimate concern, and you should discuss that with the venue.

However...to the bolded...did your contract specify that they were not allowed to change the aesthetics of the venue at all in over a year? Particularly for safety concerns? If so, then you have a case. If not, you really do not have a leg to stand on. Venues make basic, small changes all the time. Which is really all these blocks are.

Also...you're requesting that the City of New Haven require a wedding venue to paint or remove blocks? I live in CT, and I sure hope our local government has a lot more important things to do than worry about someone's wedding photos not being exactly the way they want them. Expecting the government to play a role in making your wedding day perfect is way crossing the line into bridezilla territory.

Just take your pictures away from the blocks. That part is such a non-issue.

Knottie1430153505

I am not sure how to respond to individual comments, so I apologize for not being able to do so. I cross posted this in a few boards because I am looking for other couples who are using/ have used the venue. I didn't see anything in the guidelines suggesting that cross posting isn't okay. I would remove it from other threads but once someone comments, the post is there to stay.

I do not have a problem with people's opinions, everyone is entitled to think what they will, but this includes my fiance and me. We are not happy with our wedding venue, I thought that we could use The Knot to help us connect with others in our situation.

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

I have been visiting the venue for over a year since we paid our deposit. I have never seen these blocks before. They are not something that is there every hurricane season, they were added as an emergency effort for a storm that never happened.

I happen to work in coastal restoration and protection, and do research on ways to protect the shoreline. I am not suggesting that my wedding is more important than the building or anyone's safety. But for the last major hurricane we had they decided to open all the windows and allow the water to flow through the building. If you are getting storm surges that are going to make it to this building, I am not sure a 2 ft block are going to slow the waves enough to make a huge impact if we do have a major storm.

Of course we are preparing for a few scenarios, but the coordinator at the venue made it sound like if we call there is a chance they can move them. So we figured the more people we can get to call, the better our chances are.

Thanks for all the advice.

crowsgirl15

Knottie1430153505 said:

I am not sure how to respond to individual comments, so I apologize for not being able to do so. I cross posted this in a few boards because I am looking for other couples who are using/ have used the venue. I didn't see anything in the guidelines suggesting that cross posting isn't okay. I would remove it from other threads but once someone comments, the post is there to stay.

I do not have a problem with people's opinions, everyone is entitled to think what they will, but this includes my fiance and me. We are not happy with our wedding venue, I thought that we could use The Knot to help us connect with others in our situation.

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

I have been visiting the venue for over a year since we paid our deposit. I have never seen these blocks before. They are not something that is there every hurricane season, they were added as an emergency effort for a storm that never happened.

I happen to work in coastal restoration and protection, and do research on ways to protect the shoreline. I am not suggesting that my wedding is more important than the building or anyone's safety. But for the last major hurricane we had they decided to open all the windows and allow the water to flow through the building. If you are getting storm surges that are going to make it to this building, I am not sure a 2 ft block are going to slow the waves enough to make a huge impact if we do have a major storm.

Of course we are preparing for a few scenarios, but the coordinator at the venue made it sound like if we call there is a chance they can move them. So we figured the more people we can get to call, the better our chances are.

Thanks for all the advice.

To the bolded, the quote button will let you respond to a specific post

I absolutely understand being disappointed that the venue doesn't look exactly the way you thought it would when you signed the contract. That is a bummer, and though you need no one's permission to be upset, you absolutely have my sympathies.

It's the excessiveness of the reaction that's taking me aback, I think. Being disappointed is understandable. Trying to use government resources or pool people together to start a campaign because you're unhappy with the aesthetics of your venue (which is really all this is. You can still get married with all your guests present) is over the top. While it's fine to be disappointed, anything more than asking the venue and dealing with whatever the decision is seems inappropriate.

photokitty

I would imagine the city would move one or two of the blocks to allow for access. That seems like a reasonable request. Otherwise, you have too ask yourself, would I have not booked the venue if the blocks had been there all along? If so, ask thereby to break the contract and return your deposit. Then find a venue That will offer you the perfect photos That are do important to you. Otherwise, work with the venue to find a solution. Removing or painting the blocks really isn't a reasonable request. Getting granny and the other guests to ceremony location is a reasonable request that they should be willing to find a solution.

photokitty

Knottie1430153505 said:

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

PS, as a mod I haven't seen any violations, but feel free to refer to the Terms of Service you agreed to when you signed up, and report posts a needed. Be aware that reporting non violations can result in a violation itself.

banana468

I'm not sure why you're saying we didn't get the storm.   I live on the CT shore about 30 miles east of where your reception is taking place.   The winds were pretty heavy that day.   My neighbor's tree split in half and fell in my yard on Labor Day night.   In Trumbull, it nearly pulled a tied down tent off my parents deck.   No, we didn't get another Sandy or Irene but we did have some decent winds and as PPs said, the hurricane season isn't over.   Sandy hit before Halloween.   Maybe these were never there before but they are there now.   So do you think you're going to be able to head to NH and say that your wedding takes priority over carousel / land preservation?  

I think what you need to do here is figure out how to make lemonade out of lemons.   Talk to the venue about ways that you may be able to have potential beach access.   Where can you have photos.   What kind of paths can be taken?   And in the end, if the blocks are part of the backdrop then trust that the photographer can work with anything.   Make the photos black and white and you won't need to worry about what colors they are. 

But since you're not going to be able to change Lighthouse point, figure out how you can work with the landscape you have. 

Knottie1430153505

photokitty said:

Knottie1430153505 said:

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

PS, as a mod I haven't seen any violations, but feel free to refer to the Terms of Service you agreed to when you signed up, and report posts a needed. Be aware that reporting non violations can result in a violation itself.

Someone posting a GIF that says "Screw You" is not a violation?

I would say that this 1. puts someone down, 2. is malicious, and 3. can be considered inflammatory.

Below is taken from the knot guidelines:

• Does this post put down or attack another user?
  Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc).
• Is this post malicious in any way?
  Regardless of intent, posts that contain any mean-spirited content may be removed and the poster may be banned.
• Is this post inflammatory?
  Posts that contain any hint of maliciousness or provocation of users to gain attention may be removed.

Maybe I misinterpreted it.

photokitty

Knottie1430153505 said:

photokitty said:

Knottie1430153505 said:

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

PS, as a mod I haven't seen any violations, but feel free to refer to the Terms of Service you agreed to when you signed up, and report posts a needed. Be aware that reporting non violations can result in a violation itself.

Someone posting a GIF that says "Screw You" is not a violation?

I would say that this 1. puts someone down, 2. is malicious, and 3. can be considered inflammatory.

Below is taken from the knot guidelines:

• Does this post put down or attack another user?
  Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc).
• Is this post malicious in any way?
  Regardless of intent, posts that contain any mean-spirited content may be removed and the poster may be banned.
• Is this post inflammatory?
  Posts that contain any hint of maliciousness or provocation of users to gain attention may be removed.

Maybe I misinterpreted it.

The gif you're referring to is in the poster's signature. It's not directed as you personally and it's not part of the post, it is part of her signature and follows each of her posts, regardless of their content.

Key word is post. Her post violates none of three points.

So as I said, there's no violation.

Goo luck working with the city, you seen super reasonable and very thorough, so I'm sure you'll have no issue sweet talking them into getting your way

CMGragain

The bat signal.  This goes right along with her posts.
In case you are still lurking, OP:

It is rude to tell people that you only wanted certain kinds of posts.  You cannot tell people how to post.  Once you put your question out there on the internet, anyone can comment however they please, within the guidelines, of course.

It is super rude to delete your post after people have been kind enough to try and help you, despite your snarky replies.

crowsgirl15

Knottie1430153505 said:

photokitty said:

Knottie1430153505 said:

There is no need to call me rude, or to assume that I am selfish, or a bridezilla. In fact I am pretty sure that all of these posts are violating the forum guidelines. If you went to your venue and there was a major change less than a month before your wedding, and you weren't notified about it, I'm guessing you would be upset too.

PS, as a mod I haven't seen any violations, but feel free to refer to the Terms of Service you agreed to when you signed up, and report posts a needed. Be aware that reporting non violations can result in a violation itself.

Someone posting a GIF that says "Screw You" is not a violation?

I would say that this 1. puts someone down, 2. is malicious, and 3. can be considered inflammatory.

Below is taken from the knot guidelines:

• Does this post put down or attack another user?
  Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc).
• Is this post malicious in any way?
  Regardless of intent, posts that contain any mean-spirited content may be removed and the poster may be banned.
• Is this post inflammatory?
  Posts that contain any hint of maliciousness or provocation of users to gain attention may be removed.

Maybe I misinterpreted it.

I have to admit, that's the first time my sig gif has been taken either literally or maliciously. I mean, it makes basically 0 sense in the context of this post or any other post I've posted on...so that's probably why.

PrettyGirlLost

Antique carousel >>>> weddings

You can control the angles your photos are taken.

DrillSergeantCat

When I was new here, I had several people telling me I was making a bad decision and @kimmiinthemitten said that my question was posted at least once per week. This is her signature: 
It took me a minute to pull my head out of my ass and realize that it was, in fact, her signature and not actually directed towards me. Although, at that moment, I probably was driving her up the wall.