Postponing the wedding

OurWildKingdom

FW and I have done some talking yesterday and today and have decided to postpone the wedding, probably until spring. I already notified my bridesmaids and my brother (niece and nephew in the WP). I know we need to notify vendors, return gifts, and send out announcements; is there anything else we need to do etiquette-wise?

P.S. I know this isn't the etiquette board, but I'm also feeling kind of sad. Angry at myself too, for not paying attention.

ILoveBeachMusic

Sorry to hear this @OurWildKingdom. It sounds like you have everything covered. Take care of yourself.

missJeanLouise

(Hugs) @OurWildKingdom i don't know if anything else you have to do etiquette wise, I just want to say I am here if you want to talk. I know how close you were and can empathize with how disappointed you must feel. Obviously you and FW are making the best decision for you guys, don't be too hard on yourself. Good decisions are not always easy.

MobKaz

I'm sorry, OWK.  Continue to take care of yourself and do whatever is necessary to move forward in a healthy way.  There is nothing wrong with slow and steady.  Keep talking.  Stay hopeful and keep the faith.

kimmiinthemitten

Oh that sucks....but just remember your upcoming date was just that, a date. Your wedding will be beautiful regardless of when it takes place. 

Hope all is well with you two otherwise! (Hugs)

charlotte989875

I'm sorry OWK. Etiquette wise I think you've got everything covered. 

A little unsolicited advice? People may ask why or what happened, try not to feel pressured to answer them if you don't want to. The two of you reached the decision and I'm sure it was not easily. Do what you need to and take care of yourselves and each other. Everything else (and everyone's opinions) is not as important as that. 

glasgowtolondon

You sound all good etiquette-wise, but I just wanted to echo pp's - you and FW have come to this decision for presumably good reasons so don't feel the need to explain yourselves unless you want to/feel comfortable doing so. FWIW, I think it is incredibly brave to make a decision like this. If it's not the right time, it's not the right time.

Sending good vibes your way.

drglitter

It sounds like you have everything covered. I just wanted to send you an internet hug.

I also wanted to say I think it's both brave and responsible of the two of you to make the decision that is right for both of you now even though it must have been very hard to do.

monkeysip

drglitter said:

It sounds like you have everything covered. I just wanted to send you an internet hug.

I also wanted to say I think it's both brave and responsible of the two of you to make the decision that is right for both of you now even though it must have been very hard to do.

QFT.  How many people just get married anyway because all the wheels are already turning and they feel too afraid to stop it or slow it down?  It's not easy, but it's better to choose a happy, healthy relationship and marriage than get married when the timing isn't right.  

Take care of yourself, OWK!

MesmrEwe

Do what needs to be done OWK!  Etiquette wise - this is the only thing I think you might not have covered yet...  Except - cupcake instead!

CMGragain

Announcements should be short and simple.  No explanations.  You can buy simple blank white notecards and envelopes at Michaels or Hobby Lobby very inexpensively, and print them out yourselves. 

The wedding of

OurWildKingdom

and

Future wife

will not take place as previously announced.

ei34

Etiquette-wise you sound all set.  It couldn't have been an easy conversation/decision to come to, but it's great that you two are able to communicate honestly and openly.  Hope you're okay

OliveOilsMom

I'm sorry OWK.  This is tough now, but eventually you and FW will realize how much it is for the best.  As a PP said, it is exceptionally brave and responsible to call off the wedding instead of going through all of the motions and getting married.

As for your vendors, see if they can simply transfer the money you have already paid them to a new date in the future.  That way, you may not lose as much money.  As CMG said, also send out simple cards or make phone calls to everyone, since I know your wedding was coming up soon - you may not have time for cards.  Possibly enlist your WP to assist with the calls - I know I would gladly do this for a friend, in your current situation.

Work on yourselves and your relationship.  In time, I know you two will be in a better place and ready for marriage.  Good luck!

6fsn

I'm sorry OWL.  You've got some good advice.  Take care of yourself.

*Barbie*

i think you're set - just take care of yourself, and don't feel the need to explain to anyone. 

lnixon8

Ditto PP's but want to add that since you KNOW some (rude) people will ask why or (not neccsarily rude but maybe) gasp like someone died...

You might want to come up with a  (cheesy?) line to have in your back pocket. When people ask "what happened" maybe something like "oh my goodness- what didn't happen! Its a long story but like I said..we're just post poning." First time with a smile then if someone presses just give them "the look" and then bean dip.

CharmedPam

So sorry, OWK.  I'm just reading this now  The other PP's have it covered.

MissKittyDanger

Sorry to hear, but as other PPs said - you need to take care of yourself {yourselves}

SP29

Sorry to hear, but I also think you are brave and responsible for postponing- you've gotta do what's best for you!

OurWildKingdom

Thanks everyone! It really knocked me for a loop, and there were a tense couple of days between us, but it's getting better.

I talked to our vendors; we had to eat the deposit for the venue, but we're getting a refund from the caterer. No word from the rental company yet; going to try them again.

I sent a message to everyone who was at our shower, and they all told us to keep the gifts and enjoy them and not worry about paying back any cash or gift cards.

We still need to send out the announcement cards and will do that this weekend. 

FW was able to get us a referral for couples counseling through the VA, and I'm going to get the OK to go to an individual counselor after my four EAP sessions are up.