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New York-Long Island

new to knot

HI  I am engaged but we havent set a date or anything . Actually HIM n his ex just signed the divorce papers. so now we have to wait for judge signature .
HOw do I bring it up to him abt setting a tentative date *(btw  this yr he also has to plan a bar mitzvah)  WE r not planning on a BIG shindig  either we both had that already

Re: new to knot

  • edited December 2011
    A few things here...

    1) Please don't write in text speak.  You come across as uneducated and it is difficult to understand what you are trying to say.

    2) Bar mitzvahs are expensive, and he may not have the money to pay for two events at once.  Unless you're looking for a smaller and less formal event, you may have to wait.

    3) If he's not ready to set a date, he's not ready to set a date.  You can TALK to him about it, but if you're not ready to sit down maturely and say, "Hey, can we talk about setting a date?" then you may not be ready to get married.
    image Anniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-long-island_new-knot-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:120Discussion:611efbb8-c46d-4ea5-a2bc-019fd4fb0510Post:63bf83ce-5694-46d4-b544-9c2beb80e564">Re: new to knot</a>:
    [QUOTE]A few things here... 1) Please don't write in text speak.  You come across as uneducated and it is difficult to understand what you are trying to say. 2) Bar mitzvahs are expensive, and he may not have the money to pay for two events at once.  Unless you're looking for a smaller and less formal event, you may have to wait. 3) If he's not ready to set a date, he's not ready to set a date.  You can TALK to him about it, but if you're not ready to sit down maturely and say, "Hey, can we talk about setting a date?" then you may not be ready to get married.
    Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]

    This, exactly.
  • edited December 2011
    If you are engaged to someone you should be able to talk to them. Talk to him and see what he says. If he is not ready, he is not ready. Plain and simple.
  • EsquireJLEsquireJL member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First off, Welcome to The Knot.
    You need to have an open and honest conversation with him and find out what will work best financially for the both of you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not trying to pass judgement, but perhaps he's not ready to set a date because he's still technically married to this EX wife. I'd wait until that dust clears before I'd start any date setting talks.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • alithebridealithebride member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    are you engaged?

     

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