A long time ago, my fiancé was engaged to someone else, and his folks offered to pay for their honeymoon. That engagement ended before anything was paid for. A few years later his parents paid for most of his brother’s big, traditional wedding. We’ve been engaged for two years and will likely get married in another two, after I finish law school and we move across the country. His parents (who are both retired and very well-off) have yet to offer to pay for any aspect of our wedding, even though we’ve tried to drop subtle hints. My parents will have a hard time just coming up with the money to attend our wedding. We are having a relatively small wedding, so the costs won’t be astronomical, but we’d like to know how much we realistically need to start saving. Is it appropriate to ask the rich in-laws if they plan on contributing? Or has this ship already sailed, and we should just assume we’re paying for everything? Having never had rich people in my life before, I’m completely unsure of financial etiquette in this situation.
—Holding the Bag