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Wedding Party

How do I include 5 nieces/nephews in my wedding?

My fiancé has five nieces/nephews and wants them all to be included in the bridal party as bridesmaids and groomsmen. They range in age from 8-13. I have never wanted a large bridal party, and I don't feel it's age appropriate for them to be in the official bridal party. Any ideas on how to include them without having them standing next to us? I don't want to give them little "eye-roll worthy" jobs... I want legitimate jobs that will make them feel as if they are really included.

Re: How do I include 5 nieces/nephews in my wedding?

  • Well, first off, your FI doesn't really get to dictate who stands up on your side.  So bridesmaid is off the table.  Agree with PP that if he wants them to all stand up on his side, then he can do that.  I get that you don't want a huge WP, but if these were 5 friends of his, I think we would all agree that it would be unfair of you to make him exclude some. 

    You are 100% right not to want to make up little bullshit jobs for them.  They are guests, not vendors.  Has he talked to their parents at all?  Having a kid (or 2 or 3) in a wedding party can be a lot of work, and they may just prefer to be guests and celebrate with you that way.  And for a lot of kids, getting dressed up and attending a nice event is honor enough, they don't need a title (real or imaginary) in order to enjoy themselves.

    Reader is a good option, along with doing a special group photo (as suggested above).

    cowgirl8238SP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If these kids are from your FI's side, then tell him that if he wants them in the wedding party, they can stand up with him and it's up to him what he wants them to do (provided that he doesn't assign them jobs--as you say, that's not appropriate) as groomsmaids, flower girls, or readers, but it's not up to him who is on your side.
    InLoveInQueensCMGragain
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Agree with PPs. If you are having a religious ceremony that would include an acolyte one of them could do that.
    CMGragain
  • My fiancé has five nieces/nephews and wants them all to be included in the bridal party as bridesmaids and groomsmen. They range in age from 8-13. I have never wanted a large bridal party, and I don't feel it's age appropriate for them to be in the official bridal party. Any ideas on how to include them without having them standing next to us? I don't want to give them little "eye-roll worthy" jobs... I want legitimate jobs that will make them feel as if they are really included.

    Yes.  You invite them as guests.  You have them sit with their parents in the family reserved seats.  This is an honor.  We see lots of "no kids" weddings.
    You might have a special kids' dance at the reception.  Great photo op, especially if you and your FI join in!  (Golden mouldies like "YMCA" work well with kids.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    cowgirl8238zitiqueenSP29
  • Everyone has given you some solid advice on this subject.  You do not have to include these nieces/nephews on YOUR side, but if your FH wants them to be in the WP they can be on his side.

    Ways to honor them include: FG/RB for younger children, Readers for older children, or guests.

    I do like the idea of a "kids dance" as suggested above.

    Less obvious but still an honor:  Mention them in the programs if you have one, give them flowers, take some photos with them specifically, have them "get ready" with you guys if you would like. 

    I think this is a good place for you both to come together and compromise on a solution.  Also make sure that whatever you decide, you clear with the parents before you ask the children.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I wanted my 7 nieces and nephews in our wedding (ages 6-13).  I guess i'm lucky, because my DH never questioned my 2 nephews  being GM's.    He knew it was important to me, so he made it important to him.

    The kids showed up wearing the attire that was chosen.  They walked down the aisle with the adult WP members.  They took pictures, just like the adults.  

    If you are dead set on them not being on your side, then they can be on his side.  NDB.


    It should be noted that while we had girls on one side, boys on the other.  The WP was picked but the both of us.   We thought of them as OUR wedding party, not mine and yours.    I know we are in the minority on this way of thinking.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lyndausvi said:
    I wanted my 7 nieces and nephews in our wedding (ages 6-13).  I guess i'm lucky, because my DH never questioned my 2 nephews  being GM's.    He knew it was important to me, so he made it important to him.

    The kids showed up wearing the attire that was chosen.  They walked down the aisle with the adult WP members.  They took pictures, just like the adults.  

    If you are dead set on them not being on your side, then they can be on his side.  NDB.


    It should be noted that while we had girls on one side, boys on the other.  The WP was picked but the both of us.   We thought of them as OUR wedding party, not mine and yours.    I know we are in the minority on this way of thinking.
    I don't have an issue with it being a wedding party that is yours collectively, but then to me it really doesn't make any more sense to maintain having a separation of boys and girls.
    geebee908
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