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Dream venue or dream season

I am having a hard time deciding on what to do, I fell in love with a barn venue that was actually air conditioned and heated which is the only barn i found in the near area like this. I want to get married in a church and it is still close enough to have a reception following the ceremony. I am so in love with this venue except the last date they do weddings is in mid  September and then they start their pumpkin patch, so they have no more mid September dates and I've always wanted a fall wedding with marsala colored bridesmaid dresses. Im not sure if any earlier in September is ok to incorporate fall and I'm torn between changing the season to summer to have my dream venue or finding another venue that i probably won't love as much and having my fall wedding. They do not have september dates open till 2019 and that seems so far away although id be willing to wait for this venue just wondering if anyone had any advice or has been in this situation

Re: Dream venue or dream season

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is not right answer here.  

    The difference between Oct and mid-Sept is not that great.  Depending on where you live it might mean leaves changing (where I live they started changing end of Aug), but other than that I don't see the issue.   I don't think Oct automatically means fall and Sept summer.

    That said, 2019 would be way too long for me to wait, so that would be deal breaker.  We had a 15 month engagement and that was long enough.  I can't imagine almost 3 years.  If you it might not be an issue.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • I am in suburbs of chicago, I do think summer would be pretty too I just have always planned for fall
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There is no way I would wait three years for a venue. That being said, September is fine for a "fall" wedding.
    charlotte989875CharmedPam
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I am in suburbs of chicago, I do think summer would be pretty too I just have always planned for fall
    I always planned for a beach wedding.     Heck I even planned one.   Mother Nature had other ideas.

    I guess my point is sometimes plans change.  It can be 90 in mid-Oct.  It can be 50 in mid-Sept.  Nothing is guaranteed.  Especially when it comes to mother nature.     Don't get caught up in colors.  You can use fall-ish colors in Sept too.  

      If you like the venue, it's affordable and you don't mind waiting until 2019, then go for it.   Otherwise picked another venue.   

    Honestly, I don't see why you just don't at least look.  Maybe there is a just as good venue with an october date.   Maybe there isn't.  You will never know unless you look around.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    cowgirl8238
  • There is certainly no wrong answer, just you and your FI's personal choices.

    For me, great venue would trump theme/season I wanted by a long shot.  Though I wouldn't side-eye a Sept. fall theme anyway.

    Waiting two more years would have been a deal breaker for me personally.  But nothing wrong with a long engagement if you all don't mind waiting for your dream venue.

    For what its worth, I REALLY preferred getting married in the Spring or Fall.  But that didn't work for my VPs the year I wanted to get married, so summer it was.

    I wouldn't have done it any differently.  But I must admit I didn't think about that now our anniversary every year is during the miserable heat of summer.

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    ei34
  • FWIW, we really wanted a wedding in mid-September so that we could get married outside because we both love nature.  The venue we fell in love with didn't have available dates until late November when it's way too cold for an outdoor wedding, and if we wanted to get married outside there we would've had to wait til June (black flies in New England in May, apparently??).  We picked the venue over the season -- we're getting married inside but we just didn't want to wait the extra 8 or so months.

    image
    redwoodoriginalshort+sassy
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd argue early September in the Midwest has a good chance of being fall like. I was wearing sweaters and jeans Labor Day weekend. 

    If you love the venue, pick the earlier date and plan away!
    image
    charlotte989875cowgirl8238
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am in suburbs of chicago, I do think summer would be pretty too I just have always planned for fall
    Are you looking at the Byron Colby barn?  It is lovely, but it is really far from a "barn".  There are so many beautiful and unique venues in the suburbs.  Which suburb/suburbs do you need to stay within to remain in close proximity to your church?  There are many Chicago and suburban area posters that would be happy to help you look further before you make a choice.

    Mid September in the northern suburbs still saw temperatures in the high 70's and low 80's.  The weather may have a summer feel, but it is a fall month.  I typically consider anything after Labor Day fall.
    ILoveBeachMusiccowgirl8238
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Venue would trump season for me. I don't know where you live, but September is definitely fall for me, even early September. 

    There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, but I personally think having one just so you can have a certain venue is a silly reason. 
  • The perfect venue would be more important to me than theme/colors...although I've seen all sorts of colors year-round.  Waiting until 2019 would be a deal breaker for me.
  • I think early September is fine to do a fall wedding. I do not think any venue is worth waiting 3 years for. 
    image
  • To me September is fall, even if it technically is before Sept 21/22 whichever is the first official day of fall. And seeing as it is Oct 14th and mid 70s today and up to the 80s next week I'm not sure fall is ever going to arrive here in the midwest. So weather is a crapshoot as always.  The deal breaker for me would be waiting for 2019 unless I had planned to wait that long anyway.
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • jacques27 said:

    Go talk to your FI, each make a list of your wants for this wedding and rank them on importance, find your common ground and figure out where to compromise on the rest.  You'll probably find it much easier to figure out once you actually get together, see the big picture, and work on figuring out collectively what is most important.

    This here is some really sound advice!!!

    Wedding Planning is about compromises...just like the rest of your married life will be about compromises.  While I applaud you for taking guest comfort into consideration by finding a climate controlled venue, I do feel like you are placing a lot of value on a venue.  3 Years is a long time to wait for a venue (too long for me!).  And while there is nothing wrong with that decision, you have to both come it to together.

  • There are very few circumstances in which I'd wait three years for a venue just so I could have a specific month.  If you and your FI feel this is absolutely the venue you must use, I'd definitely change the month and/or season.  I think November could also be lovely for a fall wedding.  I also think that marsala is a versatile enough color (I would also call in a deep dusty rose) that it would be lovely paired with spring colors (maybe a palette with blush and ivory) and could say winter if you used darker tones of chocolate and gold.

    I totally think PPs are right that you should focus less on your vision of your wedding and more on what makes practical sense for you, FI and your guests.
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    Anniversary


  • My partner and I decided to wait an extra year based on reasons that most people who are not us would definitely side-eye: we wanted to get married on our anniversary (not popular on here at all, I know!) and we wanted a specific venue that books up way in advance.  We are already living together and we are not religious, so we weren't in a super-big hurry to tie the knot even though we both very much look forward to being married to each other.  Our anniversary is on a Saturday next year, but if it was any further away we would have picked a random 2016 weekend and gone for it--we weren't going to wait any longer than that, and we definitely wouldn't have a wedding on a non-Saturday just to capture the significant date.  

    So I guess what I am trying to say is that it all comes down to personal preference.  3 years would absolutely be beyond my willingness to wait, but you are entitled to feel differently.  I would advise you not to let the superficial details take precedence over the much-more-important aspect of you and the person you love joining yourselves together in marriage.  But on the other hand, if being married ASAP with no focus on superficial details was the goal then everyone would rush to the courthouse immediately after getting engaged. It falls to each individual couple to decide how they balance these things.
    STARMOON44cowgirl8238short+sassy
  • I think you need to figure out which is better.   But you also need to remember that you can't control the weather.   So you could have a crisp autumn day, a hot autumn day, a windy autumn day or even a super unseasonably cold one.   

    I don't think there's really a "right" answer here.   
    SP29MairePoppy
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2016

    If it were me, I'd pick the venue I like best, but I probably wouldn't wait until 2019 for a September date.  (Did I read that correctly?  Because everyone is saying September is not that much different than October, which is true, but it looks like you would have to wait for 2019 to get a September wedding.) 

    I think marsala is a lovely color, and would work well with a spring or summer wedding:

    Bridesmaid dressBeautiful bridesmaids The bridesmaids wine-colored BHLDN dresses served as the jumping-off point for their color scheme inspiration Warm creams and vivid greens complemented their bold vision

    Ivy dress in a stunning Plum is a year-round fashion essential Modest Dresses Modest Church Dress Modest Bridesmaid Dresses Red Dress Modest Red Dress Summer Dress Modest Fashion Modest Clothing sierrabrookeclothing

    ILoveBeachMusiccowgirl8238SP29
  • I don't think you said what the latest date is that they could give you? If it's early September, I'd definitely say you should go for it. If it's in the summer, then it's a harder decision, but if you really love the venue maybe you should just go for it anyway?

    Good luck, whatever you decide!
  • I would not wait 3 years for a venue!

    Up to you to decide whether getting married in Oct and finding another venue, or keeping this venue for Sept is more important. Sounds like this is a great venue, so personally, I'd go for the venue. Mid September to early Oct isn't much different and the weather can vary widely. Last weekend here in Southern Ontario was pretty cool- there was a sudden temperature change Saturday afternoon and the whole week has been cool, frost at night, etc. THIS weekend is unseasonably warm at 22C forecast for both days with humidity for Sunday! So you never know ;).

    Pick whatever colours you want for your wedding, whenever. Who really cares. And as shown above, you take take marsala to either summer or fall, if you are that worried about matching the season.

    Besides, it's the amount of daylight that triggers the leaves to change, so the temperature itself won't make a big difference in that regard, except for you and your guests' comfort.
  • Thank you ladies for all your wonderful advice is it a big decision, I am currently in dental hygiene school and graduate this may so we both agreed that waiting till summer or fall of 2019 would be better and give me some time to start a new job and make it less stressful with money if i was working for some time before having to book everything cause right now he would have to pay for everything and i want to help pay also we have a guest list of 300 he has a huge family the other reason i love the barn venue is because it can hold that many people a lot of the others we checked out usually are always under 250 but i have to agree that if September doesn't work out I'm starting to love the idea of summer weddings too and i will use my marsala in the summer!!! thank you for all your advice 
    charlotte989875kimmiinthemittencowgirl8238
  • lyndausvi said:
    I am in suburbs of chicago, I do think summer would be pretty too I just have always planned for fall
    I always planned for a beach wedding.     Heck I even planned one.   Mother Nature had other ideas.

    I guess my point is sometimes plans change.  It can be 90 in mid-Oct.  It can be 50 in mid-Sept.  Nothing is guaranteed.  Especially when it comes to mother nature.     Don't get caught up in colors.  You can use fall-ish colors in Sept too.  

      If you like the venue, it's affordable and you don't mind waiting until 2019, then go for it.   Otherwise picked another venue.   

    Honestly, I don't see why you just don't at least look.  Maybe there is a just as good venue with an october date.   Maybe there isn't.  You will never know unless you look around.
    It can also be 50 at the end of June!!!!!  :s

    There must be another barn in Chicago-land without a 3 year wait! I wouldn't wait 3 years to be married, whether I had to go to the courthouse or not.

    image

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