Wedding Woes

Early Friday

What's up for the weekend? 

Saturday is M2's last soccer game.  No more participation medals!! I'm so happy the league is stopping this AND the coach let as know ahead of time.  He's been awesome so I should probably get him something.  In gymnastics news her coach said she needs to move up.  The only time for the next level at the cheap place is a horribly inconvenient time.  I'm going to need her to move to advanced before next school year or I'm going to have to shell out some money for convenience.

6let has soccer too.  His indoor team started this week also.  He's got a lot of learning to do with them.  They are fast and good.  He's the only one that doesn't speak Spanish.  Coach was yelling "Rapido, rapido.  That means fast Matthew!"

We've got a bday party Sunday and that's about it.  I've been a baking fool this week- orange cake, two banana nut breads apple cake, and wheat bread today.  Something about rainy days make me want to bake.

Re: Early Friday

  • Heading to the outlet mall tomorrow for my annual trip with my parents. We usually go in mid Nov but with this kid arriving mid Nov we moved it up a few weeks. I really don't need anything and am going to do my best to stay away from the kid stores but should be fun. I really want another small cross body purse, it's my go to these days since I like it for shopping but I haven't been able to find anything I like, fingers crossed I find one this time. 
  • Yay!!!!!!!!!! For your mom. 
  • Oh, and over lunch, my mother confided that she doesn't like my brother's FI and isn't excited about the wedding.  According to her, there are 3 strikes:

    1. Apparently the FI was teasing my brother about something when they came to visit.  I don't even remember, but it rubbed my mother the wrong way.

    2. He is a runner, and has some app that posts his times and stuff on FB.  FI was LOLing at it, my mother said she didn't get the joke, Bro said FI isn't into running, some other friend posted "Nice!" in response to his original post, my mom liked that comment, and my brother took the whole thing down.  Middle school FB almost-drama.

    3. The worst, as far as my mom is concerned:  FI does not want to go to Disney World, because she thinks it's childish.  ("Childish" is secondhand; I asked "Did she actually say childish, or just that it was for kids?" and my mother wasn't sure.)  Y'all, nobody loves Disney World as much as my mother.  Maybe those people who spend $5 million to buy a house on property, but aside from that, no one.  So while not going to Disney is, to most people, on par with preferring the mountains to the beach, to my mother it's a BFD.  She is also doing that Prudie letter thing where I said fine, then FI doesn't have to go if it's not her thing, and my mom said that because it's a "family trip" that "everyone should go."   

    I told her I didn't think any of these were a big deal, but she disagreed.  I think we are in for some drama, y'all.  I'm debating whether to stay out of it, or shoot my brother a text that says "Keep mom out of the loop except for 'Z says hi' because she is in drama-mode."  WWWWD?

  • I have spent entirely too much time trying to get on this site this morning.  IDK what happened, but it's working for now. 

    Anyway, weekend?  IDK?  We don't have any concrete plans.  I want to sleep in at least once.  I'm sure shopping and house stuff is in the plans.  I also need to get the clothes my kids left all over the city between my sister's, parent's, and FIL's houses.  
  • @Heffalump, I'd let your brother know.  Your mom gets a pass-ish, since she's got a lot going on right now and chemo-brain is a real thing.  

    That said, she's being totally nit-picky about stuff. 
  • Also, you know what sucks about working from home when your kids are on fall break and your husband just got home from work on Friday?  Everyone has started their weekend except for me.  I am feeling very stroppy about this.   And I have almost 3 days of sick time left, but anything I have left will rollover to next year.  And there's 2.5 months left and cold/flu season is coming.  All reasons to not knock off early and be a good employee.  ;) 
  • kvruns said:
    Heading to the outlet mall tomorrow for my annual trip with my parents. We usually go in mid Nov but with this kid arriving mid Nov we moved it up a few weeks. I really don't need anything and am going to do my best to stay away from the kid stores but should be fun. I really want another small cross body purse, it's my go to these days since I like it for shopping but I haven't been able to find anything I like, fingers crossed I find one this time. 
    @kvruns - I've had good luck with Coach. I've gotten a few smaller cross-body bags from them that I love. I usually look for the cross-body option because i feel like it's easier/frees up my hands/arms - especially with travel, photography, or shopping. 
  • Officially have a cold and last night just sucked hard core.

    So I had to stop for sinus meds and cat crunchy, decided to wait the time out for the bus instead of walking because it was raining and I'm sick.
    I take BusX and it doesn't even go by my house!! I know BusY does, but since the stops have BusX on it also I figured why not.

    Ended up getting off the bus near H's parents place - which isn't far but when it's raining and you're sick, it's a fucking miserable walk. Almost 40mins {I'm slow} later I finally got home. Cats were starving. I basically shoved them aside so I could change out of wet clothes first. Fed them, started lasagna and curled up on the couch to wait for the new Rocky Horror.

    Did anyone else watch it? Thoughts? I didn't think it was terrible. Definitely had a different feel, but not terrible. They fucked with Time Warp and the iconic boot stomp when Frankenfurter comes on.

    Broke my heart to see how unwell Tim Curry is, but glad he could be on it.
    I was texting my mum through it.

    H worked late but came home to work when I told him what happened - to which he also said "why didn't you just ask my mum for a ride home?" BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT AND I WAS IN A PISSY MOOD THANKS!!!

    Rest this weekend. 2 friends are coming over so I can do their makeup for a wedding they're in. Originally I was only doing one, but other texted me this morning to jump in on it lol
    I said to H this morning that he'll have to take a break early afternoon from working - since he has to work this weekend - so I can do makeup.

    H: you're doing it at this table?
    Me: yes. The room isn't done and I have zero space, or else I would do it upstairs.
    H: Oh right.
    Me: if you had helped me bring bookshelf upstairs last weekend like I had asked, then I could have done it there. This is why I asked you ...
    H: Oh. Right.

    *sigh* I married a procrastinator.
  • @Heffalump - shoot your brother a text. I'm with his FI in that I don't get the Disney love either. Especially from adults. Yeah, we'll probably take Wolverine at some point (she was at Disneyworld for a day when she was 2) but I honestly don't see the appeal beyond making your kid/grandkid happy. It's just not my thing. There's a lot of other places/things that I would rather do/see/spend money on than a trip to Disney - "family trip" or not. My sister's boyfriend's parents are Disney nuts, too - they go every year.
  • @Heffalump  tough break :\ Although tbh I feel like a lot of this isn't his FI but your mum's personal opinion. I would suggest the 'keep mom out of the loop' idea - might be safest.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @MissKittyDanger, your cold confession reminded me of when someone in our office always says "I hope I don't get it because I cannot get it right now! Now's not a good time".
    Can you please tell me a better time, and I'll make sure to keep my germs at bay until then?

    @Heffalump, yeah that situation is hard, I don't really see much wrong with what FI is doing.  Some people just don't like Disney world.  It's weird! (I do btw)

    FI and i have a paintnite thing to go to at 7 tonight.   I'm really excited for that!

    Saturday I have some last minute wedding item shopping to do, since it's the last weekend to shop before I leave!  We also have a Halloween party to go to, so I think I'll take a costume out of my big box of costumes and make an appearance (we're Halloween people). 

    And Sunday?  Who knows....I'd love to go to a pumpkin patch, but don't know FI's schedule and doing a corn maze on your own is frustrating 

  • @CharmedPam  lol I love hearing "I can't get sick right now" It's like, oh cool okay. I'll just douse myself in disinfectant because I don't really have time either.
    It's just funny how quick it came on. Even my boss was shocked. In a matter of not even the full work day, I went from fine to sinus cold :(
  • @*Barbie* I know how your H feels. Mine is underpaid and as much as he loves his job, he's starting to realize that likely they can't afford the pay bump. Hopefully your H has better luck with his company and yay new people to finish the job! :)
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @Heffalump that's great news for your mom!  I hope the chemo keeps doing  it's thing.

    @CharmedPam  I was that guy the week of my surgery!  FI and half of my office got sick and there was no time until next year I could reschedule.  I avoided everyone.

    Our furnace is working again, just in time for a cold weekend!  I'm WFH because I wasn't sure how long it would take.  Last night we went to our local Democratic Club meeting.  We  joined over the summer but haven't been able to get involved.  I really like all of the people.  One of the members was a lawyer on one of the gay marriage cases that won in front of the Supreme Court.  I haven't even met her yet, but have a poli-nerd crush on her.  Our yard looks like those random street corners  where everyone puts their signs and we don't care.  We're a main artery into a large sub division and less than 1/8 mile from a polling center, so this is our penance for not getting involved sooner.

    Tomorrow is FI's bach party and I'm working a bar mitzvah whose budget rivals my weddings.

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    We went over to MILs after dinner yesterday to grab something quickly.  She saw me and went over to rub for baby, except she starts rubbing my stomach.  I just said that was the meatball parm I had for dinner, but down here is baby as I moved her hand.  She had two kids, you think she would know where they are!  Baby isn't so big that she is stretching up that far yet!  She's only as big as a sweet potato!

    My middle of the night pee was more eventful than usual when our one dog Betsey was just pacing around our room.  I don't know how my H didn't wake up because she was pacing on the hard wood and not the area rug.  It was a bit hot up there, so I think that was her problem.  So I ended up walking her downstairs - she has cataracts and doesn't see well in the dark and won't go anywhere without a light on.  I put her outside, just in case, and she starts drinking the grody water that was outside.  So I brought her back in and got her settled downstairs, where it was much cooler.  Thankfully that was good enough for her and she didn't whine at the bottom of the steps to come back upstairs.  Our temps are going back down to normal, so this shouldn't happen again!

    A cousin is in Japan right now and as I sat down to eat my Cream of Wheat for breakfast, I saw his amazing dinner he was about to consume!  Made me jealous!

    Yoga tonight and not sure what else is up for the weekend.  Probably some work on the bathroom and maybe some painting.  We are going out to dinner on Sunday for a great Italian place nearby which we have an expiring groupon for!  We also need to mow the lawn for the final time this year.  I think most of our neighbors mow weekly, even in the fall when grass doesn't grow as fast.  I mean my neighbor across the street did mow the lawn in January last year when we had an unusually warm day - if that tells you anything!  Thankfully our direct next door neighbor where both of us have grass at the boarder mows on a similar schedule as us.

  • @*barbie* the one I have is from Coach. It is basically like a large wristlet that is on a crossbody strap/chain. I think my problem is I really want a blue one (like the actual blue not navy) and haven't found the right size/color through about 3-4 trips to Coach (and MK and Kate Spade) outlets. I always look though!

    This is most similar to what I have though mine is a bit smaller I think
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    H and I had a chat this morning about acceptable ways to end phone conversations.  He thought it was the greatest joke in the world.

    I was not amused.

    I kinda got voluntold I am staying here to assist with weekend coverage.  I'm bummed, because I had wanted to go home, but at the same time, I was always very leery of saying, "Look, man, I know it's my first week out here, but I kinda miss my hubby and want to go home to be with him, so you can handle weekend coverage, yeah?"  I would have side-eyed myself for that, and this guy side-eyes everyone and everything.

    So H is disappointed.  

    I am starting to feel like my biggest life regret is going to be the fact that my career has come before my marriage/family so many times.  I know it's a temporary thing, but I am a fundamental worrier over the stupid inevitabilities of life that no one has any power to change.  In 2 weeks, it won't matter because my travel will be cut by 90%, but right now, it's taking a toll.  It's sooooo irrational (which only makes me angrier at myself).

    H's aunt got a brand-spanking new puppy, and she is the cutest thing ever.  I had a revelation when I met the puppy last night, though, and that's the fact that I don't want a puppy.  Sure, they're cute and the best things ever, but I so do not have the desire to train and housebreak one.  Also, rescues >> puppies.  We had a good time.  Went to a local restaurant and got drinks and had quality family time.

    I think one of my favorite things about H is that, for the most part, he has a family who loves me as much as I love them.  They have been accepting of me since day one, and it's wonderful knowing my support network has grown.

    This weekend, I think I might just sleep, watch Star Trek, and read the pile of books I have by the bed.  I have some "continuing education" that I "need to do as soon as possible," but even though "there's no expectation to come in on off-hours to do it," the expectation is obviously there.

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • @MissKittyDanger - yeah, it's been an ongoing thing with his company. he's been there almost 6 years, now and he went from being an individual contributor to managing a global team (he reports to the executives) without any significant salary action. He's been pushing hard for a raise (and has provided them market info to justify that what he's asking for is reasonable) - so their solution last year was to give him a 30% bonus (which for the year got him "competitive" - but he wants the guaranteed salary bump rather than a one time big bonus. They told him they had a multi-year plan that would get him what he wants, but he was pretty skeptical. His company has really good benefits, so he turned down an offer earlier this year to leave, but if something good enough comes along, they really need to give him more incentive not to take it. 

    I told him to keep up the discussions with his bosses, because ultimately he's not going to get what he wants if he doesn't ask. (Even with stellar performance, you still need to market yourself.) It's taken me time to do so, and the right people listening, but I pushed for my last 2 promotions and negotiated a pretty significant raise last year. 
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I just logged onto the passport tracking website and all it gave me was a tracking number.  I don't know what I expected, maybe more information, but this wasn't it.  I mean I wasn't expecting a photo of Sally, the State Department employee processing it, but it was still an illogical wah wah moment.

    I need to stop effing around on the internet and get in the shower.  I think that's what it means.
  • DefConn's racked up $14 in youtube(?) and Amazon Instant Video charges.  

    These kids need to go back to 
  • @kimmiinthemitten  - we just got our daughter's renewed and it took about 4-5 weeks. agreed - the locator was useless. 

  • @Heffalump, yeah that situation is hard, I don't really see much wrong with what FI is doing.  Some people just don't like Disney world.  It's weird! (I do btw)

    Yeah, I'm kind of 50/50: I have fun when we go, but I'm not counting down to the next trip or anything like I've seen some people do.  There are a whole bunch of places I'd rather go.  When we talked about pushing back next year's trip because we're all going to the UK for my brother's wedding, my mom complained to me, and when I said "But wouldn't you rather go to the real England than the Epcot England?" and I got the stinkiest of stink eyes.

    If I reach back to Psych 101, I think my mom is actually upset that my brother is converting and moving to the UK.  The fiancée is just the scapegoat.  I need to think of a way to point this out diplomatically (bracing for more stink eye, LOL). But in the meantime, I took y'all's advice and warned my brother that Mom's being prickly about the FI and to keep her (Mom) on a need to know basis for a while.

  • I had another super positive interview yesterday at another place I don't particularly want to work.  I would pick this one hands down over the other one, though, so there is that at least.  They are bringing me back today to meet with the GM, so I have to navigate disappearing from my current job for the third time this week.

    This new opportunity has pretty much the same issues that I am trying to avoid with the ownership change at my current job: basically big company with a reputation for micro managing.  And it's a less appealing product (suburbs hotel near a mall) that requires a much longer commute.  BUT the actual job role is something I am much more interested in than what I am currently doing. And it's more money, perhaps as much as 20% more if I were to push them to the top of their range.  So I am super conflicted.  I haven't gotten an offer at this point, but I have no idea what I will do if I get one.  It's so tough to judge a potential offer against my current job when I have no idea if I even could stay here once the new ownership takes effect. 
  • Oh, and this weekend we are going to a grungy art gallery party some friends are involved with, plus apple picking (finally!) and the first annual cider festival at the orchard we go to!
  • I"m unreasonably grumpy at the moment.

    Of course, some of this might not be unreasonable--we have our deck in pieces at the moment, because it had to be taken apart to deal w/ replace the external wall bits that had to be dealt with when we discovered problems because of an inside wall.  So, of course, this is CLEARLY not part of the plan or budget.
    The steps closest to the house are gone off the deck for the moment, and there's a bunch missing--but you can get up/down through the rest of the deck.
    But my dog, who has about 2 working brain cells, keeps forgetting how to get up witout that set of steps.  So I keep having to go walk her up and down the steps.  She gets herself trapped in the missing section.

    I should be doing things, but I"m not.  I'm just grumping and watching PBS for no good reason.

    Home improvement projects for the weekend.
  • @kvruns - it's hard to find the right color. they seem to be cyclical

    i got this one around christmas last yearMy shoeoftheday by frenchconnection Half dorsay leather pumps Lower heels and very comfortableblackandwhite heels summer fashion style DSW shoelover shoes

    i think this one is from the poppy collection. i got it specifically for travel. it's not huge but fits the essentials. 
    My shoeoftheday - silvery pointy toed pumps by vincecamuto  I love the tiny studs all over themhighheels shoes silver soshiny fabulous style coach
    similar style to this one...which i am loving in the gunmetal... hmmm...:
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Woohoo, I got the job up on the mountain for the winter.   It's kind-of funny that 5 years ago I was working on a boat in the islands and now I will have to ski to my job on the mountain (you can only get there by skiing or hiking up a 11K mountain).

    Tomorrow I'm doing a big 15-16 mile hike with a friend.  Had to buy spikes today because there is snow up there already.

    Sunday - work.  At least I will be done early as it's just a kid's halloween party.

    DH has surgery on Monday. 

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I have been working nearly all day on moving/organizing/putting stuff together.  And that's all that's on tap for the weekend, moving stuff into storage, organizing, and putting together.  We have to get it finished, b/c we're hosting a Halloween party next weekend.  K is performing tonight and tomorrow and I have a brunch date tomorrow.  I'm worn the hell out already!
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