Facebook Snark

morewineplease

I cannot find the last Facebook snark post, so I started a new one.

I have two friends I am side eyeing this week and just have to share. One is celebrating her 10th anniversary... except the "wedding" I attended was 9 years ago this week.  I had heard she had a wedding in her home one year before the PPD (from a brides maid she kicked out of the wedding). 

The other one is celebrating her -1 year anniversary weekend... because there wedding is in one year from this weekend. OK I have to leave to throw up... Anyone else have any good stories? 

OurWildKingdom

morewineplease said:

I cannot find the last Facebook snark post, so I started a new one.

I have two friends I am side eyeing this week and just have to share. One is celebrating her 10th anniversary... except the "wedding" I attended was 9 years ago this week.  I had heard she had a wedding in her home one year before the PPD (from a brides maid she kicked out of the wedding). 

The other one is celebrating her -1 year anniversary weekend... because there wedding is in one year from this weekend. OK I have to leave to throw up... Anyone else have any good stories? 

The first is bad enough, but the second is just plain obnoxious.

DrillSergeantCat

They're celebrating a negative anniversary?

ShesSoCold

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

InLoveInQueens

DrillSergeantCat said:

They're celebrating a negative anniversary?

You see it all the time on weddit, it's so annoying. 

flantastic

ShesSoCold said:

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

Oh. That's not going to blow up in their face later or anything.

geebee908

flantastic said:

ShesSoCold said:

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

Oh. That's not going to blow up in their face later or anything.

This was exactly my thought also.

ShesSoCold

geebee908 said:

flantastic said:

ShesSoCold said:

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

Oh. That's not going to blow up in their face later or anything.

This was exactly my thought also.

Right?! Who does that? It's one thing to avoid telling the kid until he's older but to flat out lie publicly is a recipe for disaster.

SaintPaulGal

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

ShesSoCold

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

I side-eye the facebook post about it. But, then again, I side-eye 99% of sappy "I love my partner" and "happy anniversary" posts. Presumably these two people are spending time together or at least speaking to each other, but ZOMG everyone knowing that you love your spouse is way more important than telling him or her. It's never about "two people being in love being excited", it's about how many likes (general) you get.

levioosa

I'm side eyeing the FB friend who posted a multi paragraph status about how they have hundreds of acquaintances and friends, and they have a low budget so they're only inviting people they've been close to for the last year and blah blah blah. Homegirl.  No one cares that much about your wedding.  The "hundreds of acquaintances" on Facebook aren't going to care, and probably wouldn't have even known anything about your wedding anyways had you not posted such an obnoxious status.  

SaintPaulGal

ShesSoCold said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

I side-eye the facebook post about it. But, then again, I side-eye 99% of sappy "I love my partner" and "happy anniversary" posts. Presumably these two people are spending time together or at least speaking to each other, but ZOMG everyone knowing that you love your spouse is way more important than telling him or her. It's never about "two people being in love being excited", it's about how many likes (general) you get.

Eh, I guess we just have different ways of relating to social media.  If I saw someone's post about their anniversary, it would never occur to me that they posted publicly instead of talking to their partner or that they were just trying to get likes.  I would think that they were having certain experiences (whatever sort of celebration they were doing) and emotions (excitement, love) and that they wanted to share those experiences and emotions with their loved ones via their shared social network.

Basically my entire social circle of friends and family all keep in touch online. We share silly videos of what our pets did, photos of life back home/in our new locations, words about everyday triumphs and defeats or major life events, articles we see that make us think of someone else, and just all the little things that help us stay connected when we are geographically dispersed.  Millennials get shat on for posting "unimportant" things ("do you kids think anyone gives a fuck what your dinner looked like?") and now we also have to worry about posting things that are too meaningful?  If we post about ourselves that is proof that we are self-centered navel-gazers, but it is somehow also off limits to talk about our loved ones?  What exactly are we allowed to communicate to our groups of friends and family without drawing ire?  

Sure there are people out there who are trying to amass a ton of "followers" and get their posts to go viral.  But most of us are just doing our best to keep in touch with the people we love and be a part of their lives even as we are separated by a dozen time zones or even just a few miles and differing schedules on our 60 hour work weeks.  I want to see pictures of my former roommate's new baby out in California.  I want a virtual tour of my sister's new apartment in Oregon.  I want to watch a video of the bees filling their hive with honey on my parents' farm where I grew up.  I want to get a glimpse of the new haircut my friend got, and even though she is local she is on the road for work 80% of the time.  I want to hear who had a great day and who could use some extra words of encouragement.  I want to watch another friend's craft projects develop even though I work days and she works nights so we can barely every see each other.  I want to know that my future Man of Honor had a great anniversary dinner with his beloved wife in Virginia.  And if we didn't want to be a part of each other's lives like this, we wouldn't be friends--for "real" or on facebook.

That is a lot more than I originally intended to write, but I guess I feel pretty strongly about this subject.  I don't labor under the misconception that anyone is desperate to know what I had for lunch today or how my partner and I celebrated a milestone event.  But sharing these little day-to-day things back and forth is the way that we manage to stay in each other's lives when we may not be able to see each other for many months or even many years.

ShesSoCold

SaintPaulGal said:

ShesSoCold said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

I side-eye the facebook post about it. But, then again, I side-eye 99% of sappy "I love my partner" and "happy anniversary" posts. Presumably these two people are spending time together or at least speaking to each other, but ZOMG everyone knowing that you love your spouse is way more important than telling him or her. It's never about "two people being in love being excited", it's about how many likes (general) you get.

Eh, I guess we just have different ways of relating to social media.  If I saw someone's post about their anniversary, it would never occur to me that they posted publicly instead of talking to their partner or that they were just trying to get likes.  I would think that they were having certain experiences (whatever sort of celebration they were doing) and emotions (excitement, love) and that they wanted to share those experiences and emotions with their loved ones via their shared social network.

Basically my entire social circle of friends and family all keep in touch online. We share silly videos of what our pets did, photos of life back home/in our new locations, words about everyday triumphs and defeats or major life events, articles we see that make us think of someone else, and just all the little things that help us stay connected when we are geographically dispersed.  Millennials get shat on for posting "unimportant" things ("do you kids think anyone gives a fuck what your dinner looked like?") and now we also have to worry about posting things that are too meaningful?  If we post about ourselves that is proof that we are self-centered navel-gazers, but it is somehow also off limits to talk about our loved ones?  What exactly are we allowed to communicate to our groups of friends and family without drawing ire?  

Sure there are people out there who are trying to amass a ton of "followers" and get their posts to go viral.  But most of us are just doing our best to keep in touch with the people we love and be a part of their lives even as we are separated by a dozen time zones or even just a few miles and differing schedules on our 60 hour work weeks.  I want to see pictures of my former roommate's new baby out in California.  I want a virtual tour of my sister's new apartment in Oregon.  I want to watch a video of the bees filling their hive with honey on my parents' farm where I grew up.  I want to get a glimpse of the new haircut my friend got, and even though she is local she is on the road for work 80% of the time.  I want to hear who had a great day and who could use some extra words of encouragement.  I want to watch another friend's craft projects develop even though I work days and she works nights so we can barely every see each other.  I want to know that my future Man of Honor had a great anniversary dinner with his beloved wife in Virginia.  And if we didn't want to be a part of each other's lives like this, we wouldn't be friends--for "real" or on facebook.

That is a lot more than I originally intended to write, but I guess I feel pretty strongly about this subject.  I don't labor under the misconception that anyone is desperate to know what I had for lunch today or how my partner and I celebrated a milestone event.  But sharing these little day-to-day things back and forth is the way that we manage to stay in each other's lives when we may not be able to see each other for many months or even many years.

STUCK

So, to the bolded, my personal opinion regarding facebook posts shouldn't really matter to other people. You post whatever you want. I'm not saying people aren't allowed to post bullshit, I'm just saying that I side-eye some of it. I'm not that important. I hope my personal opinion doesn't stop people from posting what they want. I know for a fact that I get some side-eye for what I do and do not post on facebook. IDGAF. I'm not going to start posting sappy husband posts because my second cousin doesn't think I like the guy. 

Calm down. I'm not trying to be the czar of the facebook. Just snarking (on the snarky board, of all places) on things that I, personally, find snarkable.

SaintPaulGal

@ShesSoCold: snark away!  I shall snark my own snark in response to your snark!     I'm not upset, nor am I trying to infringe on your right to side eye whatever you damn well please.  I just wanted to give a counter point.

morewineplease

geebee908 said:

flantastic said:

ShesSoCold said:

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

Oh. That's not going to blow up in their face later or anything.

This was exactly my thought also.

When this stuff blows up it is so bad. Kids have a hard time getting over the lies more than the truth. 

morewineplease

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here

SITB

The post with the count down timer about it being a year away, was not that big a deal. It was the next three about how they were celebrating with Dinner, then Brunch, then Dinner again. 

crowsgirl15

I try my hardest not to snark on overly personally Facebook posts...I get that some people like to advertise to the world how they feel about their husband/kids/dog, even if for me it would be something I prefer to keep personal. I'll never quite understand the need to share an anniversary with your Facebook friends or share a million baby pictures, but I've tried my damndest not to judge.

But a -1 anniversary? Yeah, that's not a thing. Just say "one year to my wedding!" and be done with it. Celebrating it seems snark worthy to me.

TheMostHappy15

SaintPaulGal said:

ShesSoCold said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

I side-eye the facebook post about it. But, then again, I side-eye 99% of sappy "I love my partner" and "happy anniversary" posts. Presumably these two people are spending time together or at least speaking to each other, but ZOMG everyone knowing that you love your spouse is way more important than telling him or her. It's never about "two people being in love being excited", it's about how many likes (general) you get.

Eh, I guess we just have different ways of relating to social media.  If I saw someone's post about their anniversary, it would never occur to me that they posted publicly instead of talking to their partner or that they were just trying to get likes.  I would think that they were having certain experiences (whatever sort of celebration they were doing) and emotions (excitement, love) and that they wanted to share those experiences and emotions with their loved ones via their shared social network.

Basically my entire social circle of friends and family all keep in touch online. We share silly videos of what our pets did, photos of life back home/in our new locations, words about everyday triumphs and defeats or major life events, articles we see that make us think of someone else, and just all the little things that help us stay connected when we are geographically dispersed.  Millennials get shat on for posting "unimportant" things ("do you kids think anyone gives a fuck what your dinner looked like?") and now we also have to worry about posting things that are too meaningful?  If we post about ourselves that is proof that we are self-centered navel-gazers, but it is somehow also off limits to talk about our loved ones?  What exactly are we allowed to communicate to our groups of friends and family without drawing ire?  

Sure there are people out there who are trying to amass a ton of "followers" and get their posts to go viral.  But most of us are just doing our best to keep in touch with the people we love and be a part of their lives even as we are separated by a dozen time zones or even just a few miles and differing schedules on our 60 hour work weeks.  I want to see pictures of my former roommate's new baby out in California.  I want a virtual tour of my sister's new apartment in Oregon.  I want to watch a video of the bees filling their hive with honey on my parents' farm where I grew up.  I want to get a glimpse of the new haircut my friend got, and even though she is local she is on the road for work 80% of the time.  I want to hear who had a great day and who could use some extra words of encouragement.  I want to watch another friend's craft projects develop even though I work days and she works nights so we can barely every see each other.  I want to know that my future Man of Honor had a great anniversary dinner with his beloved wife in Virginia.  And if we didn't want to be a part of each other's lives like this, we wouldn't be friends--for "real" or on facebook.

That is a lot more than I originally intended to write, but I guess I feel pretty strongly about this subject.  I don't labor under the misconception that anyone is desperate to know what I had for lunch today or how my partner and I celebrated a milestone event.  But sharing these little day-to-day things back and forth is the way that we manage to stay in each other's lives when we may not be able to see each other for many months or even many years.

I'm 100% with you on this! Sometimes I wonder why some people even have FB pages when every. single. thing. anyone possibly posts on there annoys them! It's exactly like you said- you post stuff that's too trivial/mundane, it's vapid and uninteresting, you post stuff that's too serious/momentous, it's AW-ish and disingenuous. Can someone tell me what exactly this platform for communication is supposed to be for?

Don't get me wrong- I have social media pet peeves like anyone. Mysterious "don't want to talk about it but send good thoughts"-type posts get a big eye roll from me, and any kind of selling stuff will get you unfollowed... but some people (and I don't mean this directed at anyone here) just seem to genuinely get no enjoyment from any type of post a person can make and I have to wonder if all they actually get from being on FB is just some weird sense of superiority over others.

kimmiinthemitten

@ShesSoCold I'm a pretty avid FB poster and I'd side eye the hell out off that too. When FI and I woke up on the day we'd be married the next year - we were total geeks in love at home and on email while at work, but I never thought to post about it.

I'm side eyeing the local FB group that I love to complain about.  A bride was affirmed that a shower with a request for cash to save for a baby was fine because their real friends and family wouldn't care.  Ugh.  Bad advice is free and everywhere ladies and gentlemen.

kimmiinthemitten

Second snark, my sister who keeps posting "photos you have to have from your wedding" links on my FB page.  I responded to today's and said I promise of all the photos you will take that day, none will be in a chintzy robe or with your dress tucked into your skirt.

MissKittyDanger

ShesSoCold said:

My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

this has 'yikes' all over it! There's one thing to just never tell the child, but to do something to deliberately lie to them ...
My mum and my friend were in similar situation, both of them were never told their dads weren't the bio dad. Neither of them found out in the greatest way, but neither of the families did it to deliberately lie to them.
My mum later on ended up 'adopting' my grandpa, so he was legally family.
My friend's dad doesn't know she knows he's not her bio dad ....

MissKittyDanger

My snark - which I legit cringed but decided I'm not commenting on how 'ew' it is ...

Girl on my fb is getting married next year. Her venue is a barn {no burlap and mason jars fyi} and it works for them as a couple. She collects cowboy boots but has said multiple times she isn't wearing them for her wedding {also stating maybe she'll have for a few photos on herself}

All good right? Well ... what got me was she posted an article with the quip "This is why I'm having my wedding unplugged"
NO. STOP RIGHT THERE!!

If we opted to have our wedding unplugged, there would be missed photos! We got a great shot from a friend - diff angle from our photographer and stepdad in law photos - of us kissing.
If you want to be sure people don't have their phones on noise, you can always ask the officiant to just state "please ensure all mobile devices are on vibrate or silent during the ceremony"
Movie theaters do that.

DrillSergeantCat

SaintPaulGal said:

I don't see what is snark-worthy about the -1 anniversary thing.  Some people are more into celebrating/commemorating than others, but I have no problem with two people in love being excited that they are one year away from being spouses.  Now if this was -5 or something then I would side eye it, but one year before your big day?  No snark here.

I just didn't understand it and wanted to be sure OP was saying negative one. I can see being excited that in one year, you'll be walking down the aisle. I don't think I'd celebrate it, but that's just me.

peachy13

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

DrillSergeantCat

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

I had to sign my marriage license with the name I was planning on using so I took my H's name as soon as I signed it. I didn't hate my former name, but I was excited to get the new one. 

justsie

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

I totally did this. I just figured if I'm going to start referring to myself as Ms. HisLastName socially then that change should reflect on social media too. 

TheMostHappy15

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

I think in some places you can do the name change simultaneous with getting your marriage license. But even that aside, I guess I just figured a few days after the wedding was as good a time as any to make the change... it makes more sense in conjunction with updating the relationship status, all the wedding photos etc. being posted than some random day months down the road. Especially if you plan on starting to start using the new name socially immediately following the wedding.

InLoveInQueens

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

Super tl;dr below, I promise I'm not getting defensive, just sharing my opinion on this and why I did what I did.
 
I changed my name on Facebook after we left our wedding lunch, I also had my name changed on all my official docs ~2 days after (got married Friday morning, name changed at the SSA and DMV by Monday afternoon). I changed mine asap for multiple reasons, one of which was yes, my ~maiden~ name was long and ethnic and hard to pronounce/spell for multiple people and got me made fun of for years. There was no reason for me to wait and a bunch of reasons for me to do it right away.

I used my middle name as my last name on Facebook for a while (changed it back to my actual last name for the ~6 months leading up to my wedding since those were my last months with that name), it was my name once I got the certificated, even if the SSA and DMV didn't know it yet.

I also knew I was changing my name, had to state it on my marriage license so it was easy enough to change it when I changed my relationship status. I had my new work email set up by IT the Thursday before my wedding so my out of office reply could say it/I could start having people use my new name asap. Is that something that should wait as well, or just FB? 



Re: Posting on Facebook, my first anniversary is coming up in a few days and you bet your ass I've been thinking about what I want to post for a while. I don't care what other people think about me posting a picture from my wedding and a comment about how happy I am to be celebrating my anniversary. It's a big deal to me and that's what Facebook is for. We don't share stuff like this ever, really, we're private people and don't share our lives on Facebook like some people do, my husband barely uses his Facebook (reactivated it recently and doesn't post ever) and I use mine mainly for groups and to post pictures of my cat and my hobby. This is the one time a year I feel like I can share something a bit mushier about my life without feeling like one of "those" people. I like seeing people post happy anniversary posts, milestones are nice to see. I definitely side-eye constant oversharing but personally occasions like anniversaries and birthdays seem like the perfect time to get a little more personal.

We also got married on our dating anniversary and picked that date for that reason and that reason alone, so I'm a snark magnet and I will accept it all

MissKittyDanger

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

I changed on social media a little bit after, but some people know they're changing and are just getting use to it. I'm using social media as a place to see how well it goes before deciding.

bleve0821

MissKittyDanger said:

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

I changed on social media a little bit after, but some people know they're changing and are just getting use to it. I'm using social media as a place to see how well it goes before deciding.

That's what I did, and I had a total meltdown and identity mini-crisis about it after like 3 months, and then effing Facebook WOULDN'T LET ME CHANGE IT BACK.  I had to prove to them that I was trying to change my name back to my legal name, and it still took like a week, and that only made things even worse.

SP29

peachy13 said:

This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.

Definitely changed my name pretty quick on FB (probably the next day). Even though it was 3 months before I changed my name on my legal documents (because I had to wait that long for the marriage certificate to arrive), I socially used my husband's last name. And since FB is purely social, voila! I was not in a rush to give up my maiden name- I have it as an option on FB as my maiden name, so it still shows up, I just love the idea of being "The Smiths" (not our actual last name).