Seating wedding party and their guests apart

kimmiinthemitten

I've seen this a lot, and I agree 100% with OP about all of the reasons why it's a stupid "tradition."

I also really hope no one in my wedding party has the nerve to have a bad week the week of my wedding and allows their emotions to contradict mine on my special day.   Good friends sweep that shit under a rug and smile and do as I say.  Only bad friends behave poorly for one day and undermine all of the other reasons they were given an honor position in the first place.  </sarcasm>

MandyMost

amberdaisy1005 said:

My friend did this.. it was terrible. She also chose our meals for us (I ended up with meat, I sometimes eat the vegetarian meal and would have in this case). I had been up since 5 to get my hair done at 6, ceremony at 11, then pictures, reception at 5, so basically I was separated from my date from 6 am to 5pm with the exception of a few minutes after the ceremony when I handed him my purse.

The wedding where I was seated separately as part of the head table, the food was "family style" for all the table EXCEPT the head table. Since apparently food on the table wasn't part of the vision. And we couldn't easily share it while sitting in a straight line of 12 people. So they served us plates. I was so pissed. Everything was just piled together. Blech.

Oh, and I know for a fact that the couple doesn't have a single photo of the head table. Maybe they wanted one, I don't know. But we sat, ate, and got up ASAP. Not a lot of time for photo ops. 

ahoywedding

I've always seen BP only on the head table. My cousin & his wife had a sweetheart table with BP sitting with their families and I remember thinking "of COURSE they have a table just for themselves, she wants everyone to look at her" or something equally judgy. Now that I'm planning  a wedding...I realize she was actually being super polite and I was a dumbass. 

Also, when I've been a BM and sat at the head table w/o my SO...I've generally made a fool of myself (my dress tore open once, spilled beef on my lap, etc). Just another argument for keeping the BP with their families! 

LondonLisa

marissaskisses said:

charlotte989875 said:

marissaskisses said:

Heffalump said:

marissaskisses said:

At our wedding the wedding party sat at the head table WITH their significant others. The only person who did not get that ability was the Best man. His wife did not come to the wedding so he just "brought a friend" (who was a dude neither me or my hubby knew) who sat with the guests at the regular table....that alone ended up being a huge battle with the best man. He ended up deciding he didn't want to sit at the head table at all, was pretty much a tool all day because of it and the hubby quickly realized he made a huge mistake even asking him to be the best man...so pretty much let them all sit next to their "dates"...it will help avoid any drama!

That must have been awkward for the friend. 

Not at all actually, the friend was a much nicer guy than the best man was and he immediately hit it off with everyone I sat him with. (I tried to sit him with a group of people that I know get along with everyone). The best man turned it into an issue and his own friend was uncomfortable around the best man more than around the other guests. One friend said she sensed tension anytime the best man came around when they were talking and when he wasn't there the guy was perfectly fine. 

I'd be pissed too if I invited someone to attend an event and then didn't get to hang out with them. Even if they had a good time with other people. 

Charlotte, he was pissed days before he found out the friend wasn't sitting with him. That had zero to do with his original bad mood.

Maybe he hated popcorn and didn't want to pay for his own coffee. I'd be hangry too...

Heffalump

LondonLisa said:

marissaskisses said:

charlotte989875 said:

marissaskisses said:

Heffalump said:

marissaskisses said:

At our wedding the wedding party sat at the head table WITH their significant others. The only person who did not get that ability was the Best man. His wife did not come to the wedding so he just "brought a friend" (who was a dude neither me or my hubby knew) who sat with the guests at the regular table....that alone ended up being a huge battle with the best man. He ended up deciding he didn't want to sit at the head table at all, was pretty much a tool all day because of it and the hubby quickly realized he made a huge mistake even asking him to be the best man...so pretty much let them all sit next to their "dates"...it will help avoid any drama!

That must have been awkward for the friend. 

Not at all actually, the friend was a much nicer guy than the best man was and he immediately hit it off with everyone I sat him with. (I tried to sit him with a group of people that I know get along with everyone). The best man turned it into an issue and his own friend was uncomfortable around the best man more than around the other guests. One friend said she sensed tension anytime the best man came around when they were talking and when he wasn't there the guy was perfectly fine. 

I'd be pissed too if I invited someone to attend an event and then didn't get to hang out with them. Even if they had a good time with other people. 

Charlotte, he was pissed days before he found out the friend wasn't sitting with him. That had zero to do with his original bad mood.

Maybe he hated popcorn and didn't want to pay for his own coffee. I'd be hangry too...

aurianna

LondonLisa said:

marissaskisses said:

Maybe he hated popcorn and didn't want to pay for his own coffee. I'd be hangry too...

Thank you! I hadn't read those threads and I felt like there was obviously something to look back on. =D
Good lunch hour.

ETA: Sorry. Didn't realize this thread was already 2 weeks since last response. It's getting slow around here!