I live with 20 people, mostly white, who wanted to have a house discussion on racism. We planned general discussion questions (“How do you identify? What does equality mean to you? What do you think racism is?”) The group that came to discuss was nearly all white, with a notable exception: a visitor (who was a person of color) had seen a flyer about the discussion and asked if she could come back to the house for the event and been told that she could. When the group was told about this invitation, they decided to send her away. The reason: “It was a discussion intended for the house only, and at least one member would feel less safe with a stranger present.” I just can’t understand this perspective. I know that allowing a person of color in wouldn’t be a panacea that would erase the fact that, as a white person, I’m always part of the group with the power to send people away, but I feel sick about this exclusion. Is it possible I’m overreacting? Can you think of something that makes it OK to be a group of white people talking about race and sending a person of color away in order to feel “safe”? A white visitor would also have been sent away, and I wouldn’t have been happy with that, but that doesn’t feel quite as gross.