DRESS HELP! second guessing dress (...again)

Knottie1458412779

Okay bear with me, the story is important to the conflict. I said "yes" to a mermaid dress at bridals by lori on a weekend trip to ATL and instantly knew I had made a mistake, so I continued looking the next day at another salon. I found a BEAUTIFUL Paloma Blanca ballgown that made me look like a cake topper and I couldn't stop looking at myself, but I didn't get it. I have anxiety and a pretty big fear of making quick decisions.. which I felt like this weekend was full of. But one thing I knew was that the other mermaid dress was a definite NO. So when I called to cancel, I ended up making another appointment at Lori's and said yes again to an off-the-rack Rivini ballgown. I really liked it then, and my mom's reaction was priceless. It is now almost 2 months later and I am still thinking about the Paloma Blanca dress and still looking at pictures. I feel like I should go try it on again... and I keep comparing pictures of both gowns (and like the PB pictures online better). Also, the PB gown is white where as the Rivini dress is more creamy oatmeal, and I even initially said I had wished the Rivini was white (but its discontinued so thats not possible). What should I do?! Should I go try on the Paloma dress?? I am honestly even considering buying a used/preowned version..? I just don't want to be too easily influenced by other people's reactions/preferences (my mom) or by the environment/pressure to "say yes to the dress" at the SYTTD place... any and all words of advice are greatly appreciated! I have lots of time, my wedding is next september!

ILoveBeachMusic

You said you really like the Rivini dress at the time until you looked at the PB pictures again. My advice is to stop looking at pictures and remember how you felt in the Rivini dress. I'm of the opinion that spending so much money on a dress for one day is over the top - I know not everyone agrees with that though. You could try and resell the Rivini but seriously stop looking at other dresses - there is always something else out there.

Knottie1458412779

okay thank you for your advice! I just couldn't stop thinking about the PB dress and HAD to look at a picture...like I kind of wish I had just left and said I'd think about it so I could have ample time to make my decision

charlotte989875

Knottie1458412779 said:

Okay bear with me, the story is important to the conflict. I said "yes" to a mermaid dress at bridals by lori on a weekend trip to ATL and instantly knew I had made a mistake, so I continued looking the next day at another salon. I found a BEAUTIFUL Paloma Blanca ballgown that made me look like a cake topper and I couldn't stop looking at myself, but I didn't get it. I have anxiety and a pretty big fear of making quick decisions.. which I felt like this weekend was full of. But one thing I knew was that the other mermaid dress was a definite NO. So when I called to cancel, I ended up making another appointment at Lori's and said yes again to an off-the-rack Rivini ballgown. I really liked it then, and my mom's reaction was priceless. It is now almost 2 months later and I am still thinking about the Paloma Blanca dress and still looking at pictures. I feel like I should go try it on again... and I keep comparing pictures of both gowns (and like the PB pictures online better). Also, the PB gown is white where as the Rivini dress is more creamy oatmeal, and I even initially said I had wished the Rivini was white (but its discontinued so thats not possible). What should I do?! Should I go try on the Paloma dress?? I am honestly even considering buying a used/preowned version..? I just don't want to be too easily influenced by other people's reactions/preferences (my mom) or by the environment/pressure to "say yes to the dress" at the SYTTD place... any and all words of advice are greatly appreciated! I have lots of time, my wedding is next september!

What is the return/exchange policy on the Rivini? Can you get the Paloma dress at that store, or would you have a credit to a store you don't want to purchase the new dress from? You you have the budget/are okay to lose out on the money from the Rivini?

I think you should feel beautiful in whatever you decide to wear. I also think once you find that, you should stop shopping and look elsewhere. If you can't stop thinking about wearing the Paloma, and are okay with losing the mo eh on the Rivini, you should try it on. You should also go back and try on the Rivini again to remember how you felt in it before you forgo that money (if that's what would happen). 

Second guessing dresses happens (at least it did for me). Ultimately I remembered why I loved it in the first place and it was great, but if you strongly prefer a different dress and have the money and time, trying the other one on might be the only way you can put it out of your head. 

MesmrEwe

Ask yourself "Do I have Grass is Greener syndrome - or is any dollar amount to have the second dress then sell the first for a loss worth every penny?" At the end of the day, what dress do you want your pictures on the wall to be in?  Ask this before you even go to try on the other dress.  Go solo, and DO NOT EVEN THINK about purchasing that day.  It's a business transaction, not an emotional one.  Go home, then decide if you're going back to order it, NO EXCEPTIONS!

STARMOON44

Do you have bucket loads of money to be wasting on this? If not pull yourself together and stop looking at the other dress. 

CMGragain

Knottie1458412779 said:

Okay bear with me, the story is important to the conflict. I said "yes" to a mermaid dress at bridals by lori on a weekend trip to ATL and instantly knew I had made a mistake, so I continued looking the next day at another salon. I found a BEAUTIFUL Paloma Blanca ballgown that made me look like a cake topper and I couldn't stop looking at myself, but I didn't get it. I have anxiety and a pretty big fear of making quick decisions.. which I felt like this weekend was full of. But one thing I knew was that the other mermaid dress was a definite NO. So when I called to cancel, I ended up making another appointment at Lori's and said yes again to an off-the-rack Rivini ballgown. I really liked it then, and my mom's reaction was priceless. It is now almost 2 months later and I am still thinking about the Paloma Blanca dress and still looking at pictures. I feel like I should go try it on again... and I keep comparing pictures of both gowns (and like the PB pictures online better). Also, the PB gown is white where as the Rivini dress is more creamy oatmeal, and I even initially said I had wished the Rivini was white (but its discontinued so thats not possible). What should I do?! Should I go try on the Paloma dress?? I am honestly even considering buying a used/preowned version..? I just don't want to be too easily influenced by other people's reactions/preferences (my mom) or by the environment/pressure to "say yes to the dress" at the SYTTD place... any and all words of advice are greatly appreciated! I have lots of time, my wedding is next september!

Stop looking at pictures and move on.  There are thousands of dresses out there and you can't try them all.  You only need to find a dress that makes you feel beautiful and is appropriate for your wedding.  You have done this.  Now get on with your planning.

Heffalump

CMGragain said:

Knottie1458412779 said:

Okay bear with me, the story is important to the conflict. I said "yes" to a mermaid dress at bridals by lori on a weekend trip to ATL and instantly knew I had made a mistake, so I continued looking the next day at another salon. I found a BEAUTIFUL Paloma Blanca ballgown that made me look like a cake topper and I couldn't stop looking at myself, but I didn't get it. I have anxiety and a pretty big fear of making quick decisions.. which I felt like this weekend was full of. But one thing I knew was that the other mermaid dress was a definite NO. So when I called to cancel, I ended up making another appointment at Lori's and said yes again to an off-the-rack Rivini ballgown. I really liked it then, and my mom's reaction was priceless. It is now almost 2 months later and I am still thinking about the Paloma Blanca dress and still looking at pictures. I feel like I should go try it on again... and I keep comparing pictures of both gowns (and like the PB pictures online better). Also, the PB gown is white where as the Rivini dress is more creamy oatmeal, and I even initially said I had wished the Rivini was white (but its discontinued so thats not possible). What should I do?! Should I go try on the Paloma dress?? I am honestly even considering buying a used/preowned version..? I just don't want to be too easily influenced by other people's reactions/preferences (my mom) or by the environment/pressure to "say yes to the dress" at the SYTTD place... any and all words of advice are greatly appreciated! I have lots of time, my wedding is next september!

Stop looking at pictures and move on.  There are thousands of dresses out there and you can't try them all.  You only need to find a dress that makes you feel beautiful and is appropriate for your wedding.  You have done this.  Now get on with your planning.

I still think about another dress I tried on and loved.  It was a really tough decision, and I still think I made the right call.  But the other dress was lovely, too. 

You don't have to choose the absolute best dress from however many thousands are out there.  If you have found a dress that you really like and looks good on you, then check it off your list and move on.

I'm not saying that you have to defer to your mom, but if her reaction was that great, then chances are you looked beautiful in it, and will on your wedding day, too.  She's probably a little more objective and less likely to second-guess your decision than you are. 

RedheadIshida

Pictures of the dresses, please? LOL! 

No, I totally understand this. I put one dress on layaway and then was like why???

I tried on so many dresses. Ultimately, I fell head over heels for my dress. There was no doubt it was perfect.

I'm now a second time bride and I put one dress on layaway. I showed it to my guy and he was disappointed. He wanted princess. I had no clue! I was planning on mixing American and Japanese traditions by adding kimono fabric sash to a simple satin dress. He was not impressed.

Anyway, I found another couple of dresses at my local shop where I bought my first gown from my first marriage. (Amazing shop, amazing people) The dresses had tulle skirts, but I didn't LOVE them. They were gorgeous, though. Then I tried on an organza skirt dress that I LOVED, but it was low cut in front and back (wedding is in Japan, so not appropriate). I found out they were moving their shop and having a 50% off sale. I got brought there by someone, because she said I really should go and try again. 

I found a dress that brought me to tears. Red in the face, several tissues. 

It was nothing like what I was planning. I am not a traditional kinda gal. I wanted something more original. It's a traditional dress, but in Champagne. 

I was going to order a dress from China. I am ok with taking a chance since it fits in my budget. It was a grey custom made dress with an organza ruffly skirt...I still think about what that dress would have looked and felt like. So I am in the same boat.

My dress is beautiful, though. I fits perfect and my girlfriends love it.