Christmas cards!

kahluakoala

I just started thinking about my christmas cards this year and getting excited!

My BF and I are "not yet engaged" but living together and talking marriage pretty seriously - we're sending out cards this year and I'm pumped! We're going to do pics in a couple weeks and then getting them printed, addressed, and sent by the first week of December.

Would you think it was odd to get a christmas card from an unmarried / not yet engaged (but serious) couple. We're going to go pretty goofy with the pictures and just add a silly little friendly note. We figured it would be a good way to touch base with our family / friends this holiday season and let people know we're thinking of them. We live quite far from many of our closest friends, and while we do our best to keep in touch, we don't see them very often and thought it would be nice.

What are you all doing for christmas cards this year? Any creative ideas or things people are excited about?

STARMOON44

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

SaintPaulGal

Wow, I have to say I have the complete polar opposite view from @STARMOON44 on this one.  I wouldn't find this the slightest bit strange.  In fact, several unmarried but serious couples sent us cards last holiday season and it never occurred to me to even think about their marital statuses when I put the cards on the fridge.

Now if this was someone you met a month ago then yeah, it would be weird. But an established couple?  Not remotely weird in my circle.

ILoveBeachMusic

I disagree with Starmoon44. If you just recently moved in together, I would think, "oh I didn't know they were living together". If you've been living together a longer time, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

MobKaz

STARMOON44 said:

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

"Just your boyfriend"?  This sounds to me as if you are qualifying their relationship.  We have told SO many brides here that none of us have the right to make judgments on the relationship status of a significant other.  Does a couple have to clarify their final stage when sending holiday greetings?  How would YOU define "long term".  What exactly is a final stage of commitment?  I had always considered marriage to be the final stage.  If the couple has no plans to marry, how would you define this "final stage"?  To what is Kahlua jumping the gun?

A STD has official notification regarding the wedding.  An engagement card states the obvious.  Getting a Merry Christmas card from Kahlua and BF does not strike me as any cause for confusion. 

lovesclimbing

Nothing creative for us. We'll probably just do a shutterfly card with some photos from the last year or two and a short letter.

We sent out a Christmas letter and card two years ago (we had moved during the previous year), but didn't do one last year. Just didn't really feel the need.  This year, we probably will because we moved and we're expecting, so we kind of have more of a "reason" with news to share. Last year, we didn't because it felt kind of pointless. Here we are working the same jobs and doing the exact same thing as we did last year. Not much to say.

I don't think we'll do any pro pics. However, I'm going to have to think about pics a bit more. I was disappointed in our card two years ago because one of the three or four photos we used on it came out really dark. I've always liked shutterfly stuff before, but I might have to just make sure I'm toning the pictures better this time. 

SP29

I wouldn't think it weird at all. I know lots of people who send "family cards", and one of my co-workers gets a Christmas picture every year of her dog and sends those out as her Christmas card. You and your boyfriend are an established family.

I am not creative though with the cards. I do send cards, but I buy them from the store. I'm trying to do a letter, but I often don't know exactly what to say.

STARMOON44

MobKaz said:

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STARMOON44 said:

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

"Just your boyfriend"?  This sounds to me as if you are qualifying their relationship.  We have told SO many brides here that none of us have the right to make judgments on the relationship status of a significant other.  Does a couple have to clarify their final stage when sending holiday greetings?  How would YOU define "long term".  What exactly is a final stage of commitment?  I had always considered marriage to be the final stage.  If the couple has no plans to marry, how would you define this "final stage"?  To what is Kahlua jumping the gun?

A STD has official notification regarding the wedding.  An engagement card states the obvious.  Getting a Merry Christmas card from Kahlua and BF does not strike me as any cause for confusion. 

No, I think it sounds like Kahlua is rushing the progression because she spent half her post justifying that they were serious. She is qualifying the relationship. If a couple has no plans to marry, they are in their final stage of commitment. If they do want to be married but aren't engaged this just strikes me as a bit much. I wouldn't care all that much about it in real life but she did ask. 

kahluakoala

STARMOON44 said:

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MobKaz said:

STARMOON44 said:

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

"Just your boyfriend"?  This sounds to me as if you are qualifying their relationship.  We have told SO many brides here that none of us have the right to make judgments on the relationship status of a significant other.  Does a couple have to clarify their final stage when sending holiday greetings?  How would YOU define "long term".  What exactly is a final stage of commitment?  I had always considered marriage to be the final stage.  If the couple has no plans to marry, how would you define this "final stage"?  To what is Kahlua jumping the gun?

A STD has official notification regarding the wedding.  An engagement card states the obvious.  Getting a Merry Christmas card from Kahlua and BF does not strike me as any cause for confusion. 

No, I think it sounds like Kahlua is rushing the progression because she spent half her post justifying that they were serious. She is qualifying the relationship. If a couple has no plans to marry, they are in their final stage of commitment. If they do want to be married but aren't engaged this just strikes me as a bit much. I wouldn't care all that much about it in real life but she did ask. 

I think I spent more of my post qualifying my relationship because this is a wedding forum. I joined TK when I was a bridesmaid and I've attended a ton of weddings this year so I stuck around because a lot of the snark was funny / interesting to read. Not trying to be defensive just a little clarification. I could have just said, "we're a social unit and we share a home/address". The message also won't be, "Happy holidays from our family to yours", it'll be something a little lighter.

 I just thought I'd ask the consensus "hey would you think this is weird?" and also "let's chat about christmas cards". Intended as a fairly light hearted topic. 

ei34

I wouldn't find it strange.  I've always sent Christmas cards as an adult, and when I started dating my H, I'd sign his name on cards I sent to relatives that he'd met/that he'd be seeing on Christmas Eve or Christmas, since I always add a "can't wait to see you" line.  
I personally never sent a photo card until I had kids, but I don't mean to discourage you, just sharing what I do. I do love receiving cards with photos, whether it's kids, couples, pets, a Christmas-y photo someone took, etc.  
If you're using Shutterfly, a little tip is their lowest card price is usually the weekend before Black Friday/Cyber Monday, not the actual weekend.  

STARMOON44

KahluaKoala said:

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STARMOON44 said:

MobKaz said:

STARMOON44 said:

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

"Just your boyfriend"?  This sounds to me as if you are qualifying their relationship.  We have told SO many brides here that none of us have the right to make judgments on the relationship status of a significant other.  Does a couple have to clarify their final stage when sending holiday greetings?  How would YOU define "long term".  What exactly is a final stage of commitment?  I had always considered marriage to be the final stage.  If the couple has no plans to marry, how would you define this "final stage"?  To what is Kahlua jumping the gun?

A STD has official notification regarding the wedding.  An engagement card states the obvious.  Getting a Merry Christmas card from Kahlua and BF does not strike me as any cause for confusion. 

No, I think it sounds like Kahlua is rushing the progression because she spent half her post justifying that they were serious. She is qualifying the relationship. If a couple has no plans to marry, they are in their final stage of commitment. If they do want to be married but aren't engaged this just strikes me as a bit much. I wouldn't care all that much about it in real life but she did ask. 

I think I spent more of my post qualifying my relationship because this is a wedding forum. I joined TK when I was a bridesmaid and I've attended a ton of weddings this year so I stuck around because a lot of the snark was funny / interesting to read. Not trying to be defensive just a little clarification. I could have just said, "we're a social unit and we share a home/address". The message also won't be, "Happy holidays from our family to yours", it'll be something a little lighter.

 I just thought I'd ask the consensus "hey would you think this is weird?" and also "let's chat about christmas cards". Intended as a fairly light hearted topic. 

My response was also intended as fairly light! I think it's a little weird. I don't think in any way it's a big deal. 

redwoodoriginal

I don't think it's  weird at all. I don't think you're rushing anything. 

cowgirl8238

My Husband and I did just this the first year we moved away from home...so nothing strange about it.  Usually we include a photo of us and a photo of the kitties on our cards and then include a personalized note for each person.  If we know we'll see them we might add "see you soon!"  If it is a family member we don't get to see often we will include more about what happened in the past year, etc...

PamBeesly524

My brother and his gf live together and they sent out cards last year. They were actually just generic holiday cards, but they included a printed out photo of the two of them and their silly cat inside the card. I thought it was sweet, and it actually inspired me to send out cards this year - H and I got married last year and have lived together for several years but never pulled the trigger on holiday cards. Ours will definitely be more of a silly card, not professionally taken or posed but I'm excited to send them out this year.

kahluakoala

STARMOON44 said:

show previous quotes

KahluaKoala said:

STARMOON44 said:

MobKaz said:

STARMOON44 said:

Yes, I would find it strange. I'd also assume it was an engagement announcement or save the date and be confused. 

If you are a long time couple who see yourselves in your final stage of commitment and don't plan to marry, I wouldn't mind at all. But you aren't engaged, want to be, and this is just your boyfriend so I'd think you were jumping the gun. 

"Just your boyfriend"?  This sounds to me as if you are qualifying their relationship.  We have told SO many brides here that none of us have the right to make judgments on the relationship status of a significant other.  Does a couple have to clarify their final stage when sending holiday greetings?  How would YOU define "long term".  What exactly is a final stage of commitment?  I had always considered marriage to be the final stage.  If the couple has no plans to marry, how would you define this "final stage"?  To what is Kahlua jumping the gun?

A STD has official notification regarding the wedding.  An engagement card states the obvious.  Getting a Merry Christmas card from Kahlua and BF does not strike me as any cause for confusion. 

No, I think it sounds like Kahlua is rushing the progression because she spent half her post justifying that they were serious. She is qualifying the relationship. If a couple has no plans to marry, they are in their final stage of commitment. If they do want to be married but aren't engaged this just strikes me as a bit much. I wouldn't care all that much about it in real life but she did ask. 

I think I spent more of my post qualifying my relationship because this is a wedding forum. I joined TK when I was a bridesmaid and I've attended a ton of weddings this year so I stuck around because a lot of the snark was funny / interesting to read. Not trying to be defensive just a little clarification. I could have just said, "we're a social unit and we share a home/address". The message also won't be, "Happy holidays from our family to yours", it'll be something a little lighter.

 I just thought I'd ask the consensus "hey would you think this is weird?" and also "let's chat about christmas cards". Intended as a fairly light hearted topic. 

My response was also intended as fairly light! I think it's a little weird. I don't think in any way it's a big deal. 

Cool - and I think if the worst reaction is "a few people think it's a little weird" I'm OK with that.

kvruns

I don't think it is weird. 

My Christmas cards will be a combo Christmas card/baby announcement. I'm having newborn pics done at the beginning of Dec and she said she can get me a few to put on a Christmas card. The back of the card will have birth announcement info (I wouldn't have done birth announcements otherwise but since Christmas cards are already going out I figured why not). 

Jells2dot0

I don't think it's strange. This is coming from someone who has done what you are proposing. We lived together for years prior to getting engaged. We had our reasons for waiting for marriage and were completed committed and considered ourselves a family. Actually, I stopped sending out cards after we got married. No particular reason, but I am not really a card person.

charlottesmom0626

I've always sent Christmas cards- in college I sent them from me and my (female) roommates. After college I sent them of me and my dog. When my (now husband) and I moved in together we started sending "family" ones of us and our pets. I don't think it's weird- just don't send the 4 page "life-update" letter  

KatWAG

I agree with @STARMOON44 I think its a little premature. 

lnixon8

AW:Here's the photo I'm using. The card says "Feliz Naughty Dog" and then our names

missJeanLouise

I would in no way think it is weird. I have received many christmas cards from couples that are not engaged/married. Some of them eventually got married, some have not, some never will. I am just always happy to get mail.

MissKittyDanger

missJeanLouise said:

I would in no way think it is weird. I have received many christmas cards from couples that are not engaged/married. Some of them eventually got married, some have not, some never will. I am just always happy to get mail.

As long as it's not bills, same

I was just thinking, a couple people mentioned it would be weird but what about those who decide they don't want to ever marry?

Heffalump

MissKittyDanger said:

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missJeanLouise said:

I would in no way think it is weird. I have received many christmas cards from couples that are not engaged/married. Some of them eventually got married, some have not, some never will. I am just always happy to get mail.

As long as it's not bills, same

I was just thinking, a couple people mentioned it would be weird but what about those who decide they don't want to ever marry?

Then I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to do photo cards.  They have to send these instead:

spockforprez

I personally don't like photo cards; I prefer handwritten messages, but that is because I am sentimental (and approximately 10% SSish despite TK's best efforts ). However, I wouldn't think it was weird to get one from really any couple, although I might say, Wow!, if it were super recent that they started dating.

I buy Unicef cards when they go 50% off at Pier 1 after Christmas. I've done it for 4-5 years now. They are thick, well made, colorful, and have sweet, secular messages in them - and room to write my own message as well. Plus, some small proceed goes to Unicef. 

I thought this post was going to be a TK Christmas card exchange and got all excited, haha. I do one with a couple other forums I'm a part of, and it's so nice!

OurWildKingdom

@lnixon8, your dog is so cute!