Groom Vs Groomsman Question

OCAlana985

Hi ladies. I had a quick question regarding the men's attire for our wedding.

FI decided because its a beach theme and not fancy more like beach formal attire that he would like them all to wear light Khaki pants with long sleeve linen shirts. I was wondering how I should make him stand out among them somewhat? They plan to wear simple tea leaf leis instead of boutonnieres (I have family coming from Hawaii bringing them) and the shirt picked his an ivory color. I was thinking because of colors are Navy, pale yellow, and ivory maybe getting FI shirt in the navy, but would that look weird? Or should I just make his lei somewhat different than the others to distinguish he is the groom a little in pictures?

Thanks for your opinions!

Alana

ei34

A lot of the weddings I attend, the groom's tie is a different color than the GM, so a different color, be it the shirt or the lei, would be fine.  I love navy and khaki together, so the different shirt would be fine...really whatever your FI prefers I guess.

Linen drives me crazy the way it wrinkles so quickly, so I'd probably stay away from linen shirts, but that could very well be a personal quirk. 

OCAlana985

Thanks I think I'm gonna just very his lei from theirs and same shirts I like the look. And yeah being from hawaii i know about linen shirts haha so ill have an iron handy for the boys LOL

artbyallie

He'll look like the groom in pictures because he'll be standing next to you, the bride. And in pictures of just the guys, well, they're your pictures. You know the people in them. Why does it need to be obvious who the groom is anyway since the only people looking at them will already know?

OCAlana985

Ok thanks I will keep all the same....and i know about the wrinkles and ironing but oh well ....my family wears linen shirts a lot and they still look nice.

[Deleted User]

artbyallie said:

He'll look like the groom in pictures because he'll be standing next to you, the bride. And in pictures of just the guys, well, they're your pictures. You know the people in them. Why does it need to be obvious who the groom is anyway since the only people looking at them will already know?

So I agree with you. However, we got married three weeks ago and my husband just admitted how nervous he was about how he was going to look in his suit and how worried he was that he wouldn't "stand out" from the groomsmen. He ended being happy with his look, but apparently it was a big worry for him. 

He had a slightly nicer suit (same colour) than the groomsmen and different pocket squares, so there wasn't that much difference anyways. 

MobKaz

OCAlana985 said:

Thanks I think I'm gonna just very his lei from theirs and same shirts I like the look. And yeah being from hawaii i know about linen shirts haha so ill have an iron handy for the boys LOL

Another thing you can do is incorporate either his color, or a bit of the tea leaf look (sorry, I have NO idea what this is unless it is literally tea leaves) into your bouquet to coordinate.

MobKaz

OCAlana985 said:

Thanks I think I'm gonna just very his lei from theirs and same shirts I like the look. And yeah being from hawaii i know about linen shirts haha so ill have an iron handy for the boys LOL

I don't know a lot about fabrics, but I have to wonder if all linen is not created equal?  My son wore an Italian linen suit for his wedding and he looked fantastic from beginning to end.

OCAlana985

 @MobKaz  Sorry these are the links to the leis...yes its tea leaf but this is how his will be  http://www.cindysleishoppe.com/kukui-shell-mock-orange-lei and this is what groomsman will wear  http://www.cindysleishoppe.com/kukui-mock-orange-lei and his has yellow to make it a little different.  I will wear a nice white lei after the ceremony and just have a bouquet for ceremony. My grandma is bringing them from hawaii for me.

cowgirl8238

OCAlana985 said:

 @MobKaz  Sorry these are the links to the leis...yes its tea leaf but this is how his will be  http://www.cindysleishoppe.com/kukui-shell-mock-orange-lei and this is what groomsman will wear  http://www.cindysleishoppe.com/kukui-mock-orange-lei and his has yellow to make it a little different.  I will wear a nice white lei after the ceremony and just have a bouquet for ceremony. My grandma is bringing them from hawaii for me.

I think that is the perfect amount of "looking different" without standing out too much.  I do understand the concern that the Groom has; the Brides tend to wear huge puffy dresses with BMs that aren't even in the same color (most of the time anyway), yet they all wear almost the exact same things.  I know my DH wanted his look to be different from the GM. 

artbyallie

Ironring said:

artbyallie said:

He'll look like the groom in pictures because he'll be standing next to you, the bride. And in pictures of just the guys, well, they're your pictures. You know the people in them. Why does it need to be obvious who the groom is anyway since the only people looking at them will already know?

So I agree with you. However, we got married three weeks ago and my husband just admitted how nervous he was about how he was going to look in his suit and how worried he was that he wouldn't "stand out" from the groomsmen. He ended being happy with his look, but apparently it was a big worry for him. 

He had a slightly nicer suit (same colour) than the groomsmen and different pocket squares, so there wasn't that much difference anyways. 

Of course if the groom wants to dress differently that's fine too. It seemed like OP's FI didn't express an opinion either way.

lyndausvi

we had a beach wedding.  DH wore khaki linen pants with an ivory embroidered  Tommy Bahama button down.    The GMs also wore khaki linen pants, but wore brown Tommy button downs (matched the BMs).

Cookie Pusher

DH, FIL, and GMs all wore black suits, white shirts, and red ties. I asked DH just now if he felt he didn't stand out enough since all the guys dressed alike and he said he didn't even think of it.

sparklepants41

Echoing PPs - I definitely agree with having the groom stand out. H's groomsmen wore charcoal ties and H wore a plum tie. 

MairePoppy

I like the idea of making your groom's lei a little more elaborate than the gm's.

SP29

As per DH, linen is a staple in hot weather!

I don't think it matters either way- your FH can stand out if he wants to, or not. But if he wants to, I agree that either his lei can be different, or the navy shirt would also be nice. The bride never matches her bridesmaids, so why must the groom always wear the same pant/shirt/suit as the groomsmen!

OCAlana985

Thank you all! Great ideas to think about! Sorry was MIA for a week for the holiday but I'm back

Ro041

I don't mean to resurrect a (semi)dead thread, but please don't do a navy shirt and khakis!  That is the middle school uniform for every middle school I know of.  I think the different leis are enough.