Adults Only

kmcknight15

I know this topic has been beaten to death on these boards, but I wanted to get a more recent response. My Fiance and I have decided to have an "adult-only" wedding. I am struggling with how to inform our guests of this. I know people have said that it is tacky to write it on the invitation, but what about on response cards or on the wedding website? I plan to address the envelope to only those invited, but am concerned that people may just open the envelope and not pay attention to whom the envelope is specifically addressed to. Has anyone found one technique to work better over another. HELP please!

STARMOON44

You address the envelopes to only the people invited, and if they RSVP for people who were not invited, call them and tell them only 2 were invited. Some people also write on the RSVP card 2 seats reserved in your honor. You don't say "adults only" anywhere- not on the invitation, not on the reply card, and not on the website. 

Jen4948

 The only correct way to put out any advance word that your event is adults-only is by word of mouth, and only if someone asks. You can't pre-emptively indicate that anyone isn't invited - including kids.

SaintPaulGal

Are you having a plated dinner with food choices or a buffet?

If you are doing food choices, I like the reply cards where each guest's name is filled in (by you) and then they choose their entree.  That has the benefit of keeping it straight who ordered what and also limiting responses to the exact people you have invited.  You can still do that style without food choices but it looks slightly out of place.

SP29

If someone responds with more guests than were invited, you call them back and say, "Sorry for any confusion, but the invitation is only for you and Joe- we hope you can make it!".

An option for your RSVP card is putting "____ seats have been reserved in your honour" and then you write in the number of guests for each invitation. Or, as said above, writing in the guests' names already for a meal choice.

kmcknight15

Thanks everyone! It seems as though the consensus is to address the envelope to only who is invited and hope they don't mistake the "2 seats" as an invite for one parent and the child. We are doing buffet style, otherwise specifying entrees for each person would be a fantastic idea.

ILoveBeachMusic

kmcknight15 said:

Thanks everyone! It seems as though the consensus is to address the envelope to only who is invited and hope they don't mistake the "2 seats" as an invite for one parent and the child. We are doing buffet style, otherwise specifying entrees for each person would be a fantastic idea.

If they do RSVP for a parent and a child then you call and say the invitation was only for John and Jane Smith. I know this does happen, but I wouldn't worry a ton about it. You just might have to make some phone calls after your RSVPs come back - NBD.

aurianna

As far as wedding website goes... we did this and I think it's kinda cheaty but I've mentioned it here and no one has called me out on it...
On the guest information page of the wedding website I said something like, "If you should need to travel with your children the hotel has a list of recommended childcare providers upon request," or something like that.
Now, it means people have to read the website and have to read between the lines. But hopefully it doesn't hurt anything.

That, and both sets of our parents knew it was adult only so word of mouth it spread.

Definitely do the 2 seats thing. We had a plated dinner so we had people write names next to entree choice. Unfortunately you can't do that with buffet.

Now... something you could do (but don't try it if you don't mean it or it won't sound sincere): If you receive any RSVPs from someone with kids and you think there's a chance one guest might bring their child instead of their partner, next time you see/talk to them you could say something like, "Got your RSVP! So excited to see you and Bill at the wedding!" and then if they say, "Oh, Bill couldn't make it. I'm actually bringing Tiny Tim" then you can go from there.

We invited 235 people. With at least 30-40 kids between them. We only had one person write in their kid on the response card and one other person try to sub their teenage daughter for a partner. Most people get it.