Wedding Woes

so, mom and life

My mom has been varying degrees of crazy for my entire life, and I have NEVER seen her this bad.  She's delusional, she's lashing out, she's making shit out, she's...I don't know.  I answered where Buffy was at LEAST 25 times in 20 minutes.

My big sis kept her on the phone doing breathing exercises until I got there yesterday, while my little sis was making phone calls to various hospitals and helping dad arrange for ambulance pickup.

So, we had a plan to get her into a program that's not local, since the local program we've done and it sucks.

My sisters basically do over-the-phone input paperwork.  I keep mom in her room singing Christmas Carols for 2 hours (because she gets upset every time she sees dad, because he's having an affair w/ her BFF, doncha know.  And he called the cops on her.  And he has to many friends.  AND then she decided to try to tell me about 40 years of their sex life.  There isn't enough brain bleach.) until we got an ambulance--I actually got her into clean clothes which was astounding.  (also, bodily fluids.  Only family)

The paramedics were awesome, and took her ok (although getting there was a PITA, because there was argument that transporting her this far was out of area).  I got my dad packed and prepared and sent him after her (and then had to go deal w/ the rest of my life)...and they tried to make her outpatient when they got there.  Dad pushed back, and they looked at the input paperwork.
The geriatric psych ward had a bed for someone 70 or over.
My mom is....69 and a half.  and they didn't bother to tell my family that age limit in all the fucking phone calls.
(we had a 2nd choice...we could have gone THERE instead if we'd have known that.  Now that's a 4 hour drive away and, oh look, they gave away their ONLY FUCKING EMPTY BED i the interim)

So...we set all these wheels in motion at 9 am, and at midnight, shockingly, they couldn't find a bed.  So my 69-and-a-half year old mom spent the night in a fucking waiting room.
And we're back into holding pattern.

Dads back at the hospital, we're all in this holding pattern, and we're looking for a damn bed at options a-c, with options d-f still on the table.

Re: so, mom and life

  • I'm so sorry all of this is happening.  I'm glad that your siblings and dad are also working to get help for your mom and its not solely on your shoulders. 

    I'm appalled that the hospital didn't even think to ask her age or birth date to figure out if they had room for her.  I hope you are able to find something for her today and she can get transitioned there soon.

    Continued hugs for you and your family during this time.

  • Aw, this is heart breaking.  I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry your family is experiencing this :/

    You say she's had issues her entire life. . . so it's a chemical imbalance issue and not new tumor or anything?

    Do they think she has dementia or Alzheimers on top of some other underlying illness? Both can have many other effects besides what ppl commonly know as memory loss- mood issues, delusional thinking ("remembering" things that never happened).



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • she's always had a tenuous relationship w/ reality.  In my armchair diagnosis, I'd say she was bipolar.

    It got worse after chemo--basically 'chemo brain' and PTSD were the trashcan diagnoses for the last 2 or 3 psych hospitalizations. (FWIW, do you know how lousy your childhood has to be to give a basic paragraph about it to a shrink and have them immediately assume you have PTSD?)

    But this isn't her 'normal' bipolar so much as it's that on steroids.
    They haven't thought dementia or the like up till now, but, this is impressively worse, so who knows.
    (Of course, my dad's level of denial is epic.  which also means his level of hiding shit in the past is pretty epic)

  • Oh no, I am so sorry. How horrible that the hospitals are making this worse on you, not easier.

    Hugs for you and your family. I wish there was more I could say.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I am so sorry gb. Big hugs. 
  • I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.  <3
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • on the plus side...I"m unemployed, so I have lots of free time to deal.
    (andmy sisters are helping tons from their distance)
  • I am really so sorry, GBCK. That is a lot to be dealing with. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

  • As someone with family members who are mentally ill (running the gambit from both BPDs-- bipolar and borderline-- to schizophrenia), I sympathize with you. I can only say I hope this new program helps. I can't imagine how much worse it would be to add in cancer and chemo. Sending hugs.





  • Nothing to add, but lots of hugs and positive vibes to you!
  • Alllll the ((hugs)). I hope you find a place for her soon and they can help her. I am sorry she has been treated this poorly already
  • I'm so sorry you are going through this (and have been for what sounds like most of your life). I'm glad your sisters are helping you out a lot and that you don't have to go through this alone, although I can imagine there must be times when you feel like you are dealing with this on your own. 

    Hugs to you for your immense strength - and for your courage in confiding in all of us. 

    I don't have much experience in this department, but please know I am here if you just need someone to listen (or read) to your thoughts. 

    Hugs for you.  <3
    PrettyGirlLostthefanciestbecklerOliveOilsMom
  • I'm sorry, GBCK.  That completely sucks.  Hugs.
  • This is so sad to hear :( All the hugs! I can't imagine what everyone else in the family is going through, this does not sound easy <3
  • I have nothing to add besides (hugs).
  • I'm so sorry, GBCK. All the hugs. 


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • GBCK said:
    she's always had a tenuous relationship w/ reality.  In my armchair diagnosis, I'd say she was bipolar.

    It got worse after chemo--basically 'chemo brain' and PTSD were the trashcan diagnoses for the last 2 or 3 psych hospitalizations. (FWIW, do you know how lousy your childhood has to be to give a basic paragraph about it to a shrink and have them immediately assume you have PTSD?)

    But this isn't her 'normal' bipolar so much as it's that on steroids.
    They haven't thought dementia or the like up till now, but, this is impressively worse, so who knows.
    (Of course, my dad's level of denial is epic.  which also means his level of hiding shit in the past is pretty epic)

    Sending you guys vibes and hugs.

    This is a crappy situation.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • All the good vibes for you, and your family. Take care of yourself, too. 
  • once we have all the records out of everything, then we are planning on rattling some cages--but I think we need to make sure we don't piss off people who handle her paperwork QUITE yet :)
    (they'd probably be fine, but..still)
    charlotte989875sparklepants41ShesSoColdSP29
  • So sorry this is happening. I have nothing to add that wasn't already said - but huge hugs to you!

  • Sorry to hear you are going through all of this. Thinking of you and your family.
  • I 'm very sorry you and your family are dealing with this.

    (((hugs and prayers)))
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