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Etiquette

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

ppgbebppgbeb member
10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited December 2016 in Etiquette
Hi there everyone!
I am just starting all of my wedding planning from getting engaged in May 2016. I am planning a December 2017 wedding and I am SO excited! (As I assume most of you are ver excited also! Congrats to the future brides reading this!) 
I am completely lost on what I should do about the tradition of "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue".

As I was growing up, my parents got divorced, almost everyone in my family has been divorced, making love a VERY hard thing for me to believe in. I just do not want to wear something of someones (the something old and borrowed) whose marriage did not work out, so I do not "jinx" the wedding day.

What do I do? What would be some ideas for the "something old and borrowed" if none of the marriages have worked in my family?
Also what are some fun "something blue" ideas?
«1

Re: Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

  • Something old could be wearing another piece of jewelry you already own- such as a bracelet or right hand ring.

    Can you borrow something from a friend? My friend offered me her Tiffany pearls to wear the day of- I definitely took her up on that!

    Something blue- underwear, shoes, jewelry, or paint your nails.
    charlotte989875short+sassyDrillSergeantCaternursej
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2016
    I think you are overthinking this.   First, these things tend to come together as time goes on.  

    Second, at least to me, seems a little silly to dismiss every piece of jewelry a family member might lend you simply because they got divorced.      

    My MIL is divorced (twice), but I still accepted the diamond she gave us for my e-ring.  The diamond was not part of an engagement ring.  It wasn't even given to her by either husband. She bought diamond for herself.  Again, I think it's a little silly to think ALL material objects of a divorced person are jinxed.   Maybe something related to their weddings, but EVERYTHING they ever owned?   Yeah, no.

    As for me, I didn't set out to even do the something old, etc.    As it turns out I ended up having them all.  Unknown to me the dress shop had sewed a small blue bow inside the dress.  My wedding underwear also had a blue bow.   My mom gave me my grandmother's wedding band.   Dress and shoes were new.   I borrowed a bracelet from a jewelry store (which DH later bought).






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    OliveOilsMomSP29vikinganna87
  • This doesn't need to be dealt with a year out. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This doesn't need to be dealt with a year out. 
    This. 

    I honestly didn't even do this when I got married two years ago. I did for my first wedding 10 years ago, and that ended in divorce. Go figure. 

    When I did this for my first wedding, my something old was a handkerchief that belonged to my grandfather. I pinned it inside my dress. My borrowed was a bracelet from my friend. Again, you are WAY overthinking this, and not something you need to worry about a year out. 

    ppgbebcowgirl8238
  • I didn't even think of this until it was getting close:

    old - late grandmother's diamond cocktail ring
    new - anything I bought to wear for the wedding 
    borrowed - mom's pearl necklace
    blue - underwear

    Easy peasy.


    ppgbebcowgirl8238
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You can borrow from anyone; it doesn't have to be family. And honestly, other people's stuff is not jinxed because they got divorced. You're overthinking this.

    My stuff was:

    old: my bra
    new: dress, shoes, accessories
    borrowed: diamond stud earrings for my 2nd hole in my ears
    blue: toenail polish
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I wouldn't overthink this.  I also wouldn't put so much weight in a "thing," and use that to define the success of your marriage.  Going into your wedding thinking that things belonging to divorced family members could "jinx" the success of your marriage is bleak and troubling.  These family members likely did not get divorced because of those things, but giving the items so much significance that you can't possibly wear them already puts a cloud over your marriage.

    Old-Mom's veil
    Blue-Some shoes I had in my closet that matches our color scheme
    Borrowed-a couple of pieces of MIL's jewelry
    New-Garter


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Old: My engagement ring is from the turn of the 19th century
    New: Dress, shoes, jewelry
    Borrowed: I borrowed a jeweled tiara from a friend
    Blue: My engagement ring has sapphires set on the sides

    Your marriage will not be a failure if you don't have all these things. Conversely, having them doesn't guarantee a success. Don't sweat the small stuff.
    ppgbebcowgirl8238
  • ppgbebppgbeb member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2016
  • ppgbeb said:
    This discussion has been removed.
    It was a complete misunderstanding to say the absolute least. 
    Actually, it hasn't been removed.  That's not how it works.

    Look, I understand you're just "a 20 year old girl," but flying off the handle over people saying not to worry is nuts.

    My new was almost everything I was wearing.  My blue was my underwear.  My borrowed was the purse a friend used at her wedding.  And for the life of me, I can't remember what my "old" was... because it's just not that important.  Maybe it was the purse too.

    All I know is that I remember the important stuff - the ceremony, the food, the dancing, the hanging out with friends, the afterparty.  And the 7.5 years since then.

    Chill, kid.  Chill.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    DrillSergeantCatcowgirl8238sparklepants41InLoveInQueens
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Who was rude? And you don't have the option to "delete discussion."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    sparklepants41
  • Hi everyone
    I am so sorry for the post, I am brand new to this discussion board, The Knot and wedding planning. I figured it would be like any other site and deleting a post would be possible, I will fix it back to its original! Please just give me a little room to mess up.
     
    I just wanted to ask to please not say things like "maybe you need to mature more before you get married" off of a post on a webpage. How would you feel if someone you have never seen or met said that to you? Especially when I MESSED UP, I know I messed up, I take 100% blame. I chose a very poor choice of wording and I am sorry for that. I would never say anything like that to any of you, even though I do not know any of you. I will also fix my "deleted comments" even though they are still visible, I read to do that from someone on Google.com.

    I am just like your girls, getting married, I may have a few extra little stresses you may also have and relate to, such as we just bought a house, dogs, college and family drama.

    I would never say anything negative because of a post any of you lovely ladies made online. I am new to this and I would prefer to feel comfortable posting question and talking with y'all. 
    This is suppose to be a friendly community of brides supporting one another, that I do want to be apart of. 


    (Also the rude comment is because I'm getting personal, rude (hatefilled) messages from someone and I did not/do not know how to message back.)
  • Thank you for the advice! I will do that asap!
    AddieCake
  • Old: undergarments/earrings

    New: dress/shoes

    Borrowed: purse

    Blue: Earrings

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Old:  bra
    New:  dress
    Borrowed: mom's bracelet 
    Blue: shoes 
    ppgbeb
  • Old/borrowed (combined the two): a strand of pearls that belongs to my mom, previously belonged to my great-grandma.

    New: shoes with cats on them

    Blue: painted my toenails blue.
  • My mom told me she has been putting together something that combines old and new and she's giving it to me for Christmas, so we'll see! I bet it incorporates her own wedding veil, but I'm not sure what she could be making that I could wear. Maybe something to add to my bouquet? Additionally, I will be wearing all kinds of new things like my dress, shoes, etc. 

    Something Borrowed: I have a few. Earrings that belonged to my grandmother and now belong to my mom and a pearl necklace from my best friend and maid of honor. 

    Something Blue: A sapphire ring that also belonged to my grandmother and now belongs to my mom. 

    Before I found the ring, I had thought of a couple of ideas for something blue. Blue toenails, blue pin heads that go in my bouquet and then some of the more typical things like underwear, garter, etc. 


    ppgbeb
  • k&n62517 said:
    My mom told me she has been putting together something that combines old and new and she's giving it to me for Christmas, so we'll see! I bet it incorporates her own wedding veil, but I'm not sure what she could be making that I could wear. Maybe something to add to my bouquet? Additionally, I will be wearing all kinds of new things like my dress, shoes, etc. 

    Something Borrowed: I have a few. Earrings that belonged to my grandmother and now belong to my mom and a pearl necklace from my best friend and maid of honor. 

    Something Blue: A sapphire ring that also belonged to my grandmother and now belongs to my mom. 

    Before I found the ring, I had thought of a couple of ideas for something blue. Blue toenails, blue pin heads that go in my bouquet and then some of the more typical things like underwear, garter, etc. 


    Oh that is SO cool! You'll have to send me what she does for you, just so I can oohhh and ahhh over it! :)
    Thank you for the help, I love the something blue ideas!
  • Wow that is really sweet!!
    image
    k&n62517ppgbeb
  • k&n62517 said:
    @ppgbeb So, she ended up making what she is calling a memory square. It's on a piece of fabric we bought for decorations and she envisions it going around my bouquet and being pinned on. On one side, it has a piece of fabric cut from my mom's wedding dress and a piece of fabric cut from my dad's tie from their wedding day. The other side has a piece of fabric from the outfit I was brought home from the hospital in as a baby. 

    With it was a note about how she originally had big plans and a perfect vision for the square and how she quickly realized that she should have paid more attention to her mother's sewing lessons. She said that she had to rip out seams and start over a hundred times and in the end it was nothing like she originally thought it would be. She spoke about how it's a great message about how marriage is about change and that over time expectations and dynamic will change and that you have to work to accommodate those changes in your marriage. 

    I love it SO much and of course, it brought tears to my eyes. She's right, it isn't the most beautiful piece of sewing I've ever seen, but it's the most meaningful one I've ever seen. 

    Oh my goodness, that brought tears to my eyes!! That is the sweetest thing ever.
    Congratulations girly! 
    Shoot, I can't sew, props to her. They're gorgeous, so happy for you! :)
    k&n62517
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