A DefConn story

mrsconn23

So Friday morning, DefConn got on the bus and I said to DH, "A sub...again?  He has an awful lot of substitute bus drivers."  DH agreed.  I knocked off early and went to the store and wasn't home when DefConn got off the bus.  

I get home and the kiddo's all, "Um guess what happened this afternoon?!"  

The bus was super late and DefConn got off the bus *sobbing*.  His friend had convinced DefConn to get off at his stop and then his friend gets off the bus and was all, "Deuces!"  and heads home.  DefConn, scared out of his damn mind, starts walking up and down the sidewalk, crying and not knowing what to do.  The bus driver, realizing the mistake, turns back around and gets DefConn.  

DefConn is beside himself and tells DH (between sobs), "I (sob) think (sob) it's (sob) time to get me an iPhone!!!!!!"  

I keep vacillating between this being hilarious and not wanting to put him back on the bus tomorrow.  

Also, I'm not sure if I should say something to the school or not...because fault here is kind of 50/50.  We have reiterated, and will do so again, that he only gets off at our house.  I also hope he was scared straight by that short time he was left behind. 

MissKittyDanger

Is it possible to talk to the kid who convinced DefConn to get off the bus, so he knows {and the parents} that it's not okay?

Glad the driver turned around, but maybe mentioning to the school because not all bus drivers are as good and would help prevent for other kids

mrsconn23

I don't know this kid and DefConn is the only one at his stop since he gets picked up at our driveway.   So I'm not sure.  We will, if we can figure out who the kid is.  

I mean, it's really dumb kid shit and DefConn's over it.  I'm trying to be, but it's still making me feel a little neurotic.  I'm just glad I got home when it was over and done with and he had 'bounced back'.  I probably would have been more upset if I'd seen him in his freaked out state. 

Heffalump

WTELMF???  In our district, you have to have a written plan for dismissal, and any deviations from that plan need to be submitted in writing (paper or email).  When I was home with DS Friday, I emailed Wooz's teacher to let her know that Wooz could take the school bus home (since poor DS barfed after Wooz was already at school), and it wasn't official until she replied back acknowledging it.  Also, I forget where the cutoff is, but they won't release you at the bus stop if a parent isn't there until you hit second or third grade--little siblings can't even walk home with older siblings.  A parent, guardian, or other designated adult has to be there to meet them at the stop. 

If a driver pulled that shit in our district, they would be canned and probably never rehired, whether they were full-time or sub.

So no, I don't think it's 50/50 responsibility.  A professional school bus driver should be held to a higher standard re: safety than a 5 or 6 year old.   

ETF words

mrsconn23

Thanks @Heffalump for the rant, LOL.  

I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I am really frustrated that it happened and like I said, by the amount of times he had a sub.  I think I will do some research and send a letter to the principal and transportation dept.  Because thinking about it more (and feeling a little more panicky by the second), if she hadn't gone back to get him...we'd be beating down someone's door.

And yeah, it's really not 50/50 because 5 year old's don't (shouldn't) have the autonomy to do that shit.  And it didn't cross our mind to tell him not to get off anywhere else but our house.  *sigh* Fucking parenting.  

Heffalump

mrsconn23 said:

Thanks @Heffalump for the rant, LOL.  

I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I am really frustrated that it happened and like I said, by the amount of times he had a sub.  I think I will do some research and send a letter to the principal and transportation dept.  Because thinking about it more (and feeling a little more panicky by the second), if she hadn't gone back to get him...we'd be beating down someone's door.

And yeah, it's really not 50/50 because 5 year old's don't (shouldn't) have the autonomy to do that shit.  And it didn't cross our mind to tell him not to get off anywhere else but our house.  *sigh* Fucking parenting.  

Always good for a rant!  So much for not being judgy, I guess.  But seriously, that was poor judgment on the driver's part.  I get that it never occurred to you to tell him not to get off at another stop (I don't think we've told Wooz this, either), but even if you did, does any kid listen to their parents 100% of the time?  That's why there are rules in place to keep kids safe, and when an adult who is trusted to use those rules to protect them drops the ball, it puts kids at risk.  Not cool. 

mrsconn23

Heffalump said:

mrsconn23 said:

Thanks @Heffalump for the rant, LOL.  

I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I am really frustrated that it happened and like I said, by the amount of times he had a sub.  I think I will do some research and send a letter to the principal and transportation dept.  Because thinking about it more (and feeling a little more panicky by the second), if she hadn't gone back to get him...we'd be beating down someone's door.

And yeah, it's really not 50/50 because 5 year old's don't (shouldn't) have the autonomy to do that shit.  And it didn't cross our mind to tell him not to get off anywhere else but our house.  *sigh* Fucking parenting.  

Always good for a rant!  So much for not being judgy, I guess.  But seriously, that was poor judgment on the driver's part.  I get that it never occurred to you to tell him not to get off at another stop (I don't think we've told Wooz this, either), but even if you did, does any kid listen to their parents 100% of the time?  That's why there are rules in place to keep kids safe, and when an adult who is trusted to use those rules to protect them drops the ball, it puts kids at risk.  Not cool. 

It was a good one.  I think I sometimes overcompensate in my head for fear of being 'that' mom, especially if 'all's well that ends well'.   And in the moment I was told, I was so focused on getting the house 'party ready', that I kind of shoved it to the side.  I told my dad and sisters the story Saturday and we all had a good chortle.  

But thinking about it now when everything is calm, I'm finding it to be more upsetting than I did initially.  Also, DefConn is so much like me.  I used to get separated from my parents in the mall, a lot.  And I'd just wander around and cry as well until I was found by a security guard and had them page my dad and embarrass the shit out of him.  I bet me freaking out deterred people from kidnapping me, LMAO. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I haven't had kids in elementary school for a longtime so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Since this was a sub, maybe he thought DefConn was getting off at his correct stop? I do know that when my kids were in K they had to have a parent/adult make eye contact with driver before the child was was released that of course meant that each child was dropped off at their house. I'm glad DefConn is ok and not worse for wear.

short+sassy

I admit I was initially really confused by all of this "bus driver's should know what stop their kid's use", etc.  Thinking, "Wow, things have really changed since I was in school."

Except then I remembered, I didn't start taking the school bus until I went to jr. high, lmao.  One would hope 12 and 13-year-olds can safely get themselves on/off buses at the correct stops.

Of course, my 12-year-old self probably needed MORE supervision than a 5-6-year-old, lol.

There MAY have been many wanderings with friends to 7-11 or Carl's Jr. on the "detour" home.

MissKittyDanger

Ironically enough, I saw a horrible school bus story on my fb that a girl I know had issue with bus driver {new driver also}

This isn't the first time this girl has had issues with buses for her son, but apparently the driver completely missed the stop. So girl and other parents raced to the other stop to get their kids. Driver wouldn't let them off there because "it's not their stop"
Kids see their parents and start banging on windows, saying they want off. Parents start yelling "let our kids off!" "you missed the stop" etc etc

Girl I know ends up calling cops because the driver REFUSED to let kids off.

Driver eventually lets the kids off, and once she calms her son down, she calls the school stating "How many times do I have to call you about the bus before you take me seriously!?"

I'm hoping she keeps updating on fb so I know what's happening, but jeez ...

mrsconn23

Holy shit @MissKittyDanger!  That's fucking crazy.  

DefConn's regular driver was on duty today, so there should be no shenanigans.  But I still chatted with him about getting off on his stop only.   

MissKittyDanger

@mrsconn23  oh good! And yeh it was insane when I read it. This isn't the first time they had issues with the bus {bullying, etc} I think she's ready to just find a way to start carpooling her son at this rate I can't even imagine how her {or you with DefConn!} felt

6fsn

Heffa is dead right here.  The driver should never have let that DefConn off without a parent note. Sometimes our regular driver releases little kids when a parent isn't there, but he makes sure another parent acknowledges they are taking that child.

We once had a sub that drove completely past our neighborhood....twice.  There's no close way to turn around either so the bus was a solid 30 minutes late.

cowgirl8238

I just wanted to add that Heffa is completely right and that is the policy that many districts follow. My mother drives a bus and anyone in K-2 requires a parent/guardian for pick-up.  If a single parent is taking more than just her own kids (happens often in some communities) than it must be pre-arranged with the school and driver.  Any child without a parent waiting (or prior approval) is brought back to the school until the parent can pick them up.

A similar procedure is followed for children of any age in that they are to be released at their stop only without prior approval.  And in the event of a sleeping child/missed stop the child is returned to the school. 

As a side-note when my mother first started she worked as a sub, and every stop in her district is laid out with the names of every child that is to get on or off the bus and where their stop is located.  At the stop she had to check off the names of each child in any level of grade school (K-5) that got on or off the bus.  I don't know if your district has such a policy, but it is something to bring up to them if they don't.

TrixieJess

This makes me glad that my kid lives in the city. We don't have school buses unless the kids go to an out-of-cachement program. 

*Barbie*

I completely agree with Heffa here. We have the option to bus (I have no clue why because we're so close) but i do before/after care, so we pick-up and drop-off ourselves.

I'd be livid if my kindergartener was released at a stop that wasn't their own - and the school district/transport company/driver are 100% accountable here. If they have been having regular needs for subs on that route, they need to take extra time to ensure that the subs are properly trained and have a way to ensure that the kids are dropped at the correct stop. If the normal driver has an issue that's requiring them to miss more work than normal (health, FMLA time, etc.) - that's understandable, but the transport company should have a preferred sub for that route rather than regularly changing it up.