Wedding Etiquette Forum

New wedding timeline better?

I have taken some advice that was given on this site so Im hoping to run it by you all again to see if it needs any correcting before I hand out invites. I was originally going to have a home wedding but have now chosen to rent a place that has an indoor gazebo and tropical courtyard. The date is still a weekday as we've always wanted this date but we are now doing a ceremony at 6pm with a light dinner reception, non alcoholic drinks and cake and there will be tables for people to sit at. We've had many tell us to include a cash bar as they would love to have a few drinks so we will include it for their sake although I know it isn't proper ettiquette. How would we word all of this on an invite and does it sound okay? Also im newer to the site...how do I go back and delete previous questions? Thanks :)

Re: New wedding timeline better?

  • Thank you, if budget allows I will do my best to reconsider. I won't know more until Friday as the event planner is out until then. Also thank you for letting me know how the site works, its actually a really great idea not to delete them. I just wasn't sure if my questions would take up the space. Would hate for others to answer mine and not see someone elses who still needs the help. :) 
  • Thank you, if budget allows I will do my best to reconsider. I won't know more until Friday as the event planner is out until then. Also thank you for letting me know how the site works, its actually a really great idea not to delete them. I just wasn't sure if my questions would take up the space. Would hate for others to answer mine and not see someone elses who still needs the help. :) 
    Also, when you reply to someone click the "quote" button not "reply" because "reply" doesn't work like you would think it does. That way we can all know who you are talking to when you respond.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    I have taken some advice that was given on this site so Im hoping to run it by you all again to see if it needs any correcting before I hand out invites. I was originally going to have a home wedding but have now chosen to rent a place that has an indoor gazebo and tropical courtyard. The date is still a weekday as we've always wanted this date but we are now doing a ceremony at 6pm with a light dinner reception, non alcoholic drinks and cake and there will be tables for people to sit at. We've had many tell us to include a cash bar as they would love to have a few drinks so we will include it for their sake although I know it isn't proper ettiquette. How would we word all of this on an invite and does it sound okay? Also im newer to the site...how do I go back and delete previous questions? Thanks :)
    Cash bars are horribly rude.  Do not cave on this!  You might consider serving wine and beer only.  There is no way to announce a cash bar on your invitation without offending many, many people!

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Saturday, the twenty-second of July
    two thousand seventeen
    at six o'clock
    Venue Name
    123 Maple Street
    Anytown, Iowa

    Reception to follow

    Your plans sound wonderful EXCEPT FOR THE TACKY, AWFUL CASH BAR!!!!!!!
    It is very rude of your guests to insist that they must have a non-required beverage that you are not planning to serve.  Very rude, indeed!  How about just offering wine and beer?  That would be OK.  Ask your venue for suggestions, but don't have a cash bar!

    It is also rude to change any of your posts here on The Knot, once you have posted them.  (Exception is spelling corrections.)  You will offend people if you try to delete posts.  We usually quote them in our replies, anyway.

    It is OK to make mistakes, as long as you are willing to learn from them.  Keep asking us those questions! :)

    Please don't have that nasty cash bar.  Ewwww!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Thank you, if budget allows I will do my best to reconsider. I won't know more until Friday as the event planner is out until then. Also thank you for letting me know how the site works, its actually a really great idea not to delete them. I just wasn't sure if my questions would take up the space. Would hate for others to answer mine and not see someone elses who still needs the help. :) 
    Also, when you reply to someone click the "quote" button not "reply" because "reply" doesn't work like you would think it does. That way we can all know who you are talking to when you respond.
    Thank you for pointing that out :)

  • levioosa said:
    Also just to clarify by saying light dinner I meant not having multiple courses. My budget is low. 

    I will definetly check into the wine and beer option.

    I also apologise for all my posts, i've only ever been to one wedding as a child and I hardly remember it so Im unaware of all the proper ettiquette rules to follow. Im so glad I found this site. You're all very honest which is nice to hear for a change. 
    No worries!  Your posts won't take up space, and they will be helpful to other posters who might have the same questions.  

    Thanks for being willing to listen.  We are here to help and want you to have a lovely wedding too!  FYI the actual corporate sites (the Knot, Wedding Wire, etc) will have "etiquette" sections that will give you horrible advice like telling you to have a cash bar, B-list, etc.  If you have any questions, post here and we'll help you navigate the shitty advice that the people who want to get money (wedding planners, wedding industry vendors) will tell you with actual advice that will help you have a great event within budget.
    Thank you, Great to know. You're all so welcoming :)
  • There are ways to do everything "right" and keep within budget. Buffets tend to be cheaper, and it is possible to find some with good food.

    Also, beer and wine can be about the same price as non-alcoholic beverages like sodas.

    The biggest thing is research, reach out, talk to vendors. If you're having a wedding during a less popular event time, they may be willing to cut some slack on prices.

    Make sure you look at the budget breakdown and see where you can afford to skimps versus where you can't. For instance, I used fake flowers and didn't have them professionally done (MIL wanted to do them, otherwise I would have done them myself). To me, this was not a priority in the budget. Things like food quality, DJ, and photography were. If it's related to proper etiquette for your guests, star that as important. If it's not, take a look and see if you can be happy with cheaper/ alternatives.

    Good luck!





  • There are ways to do everything "right" and keep within budget. Buffets tend to be cheaper, and it is possible to find some with good food.

    Also, beer and wine can be about the same price as non-alcoholic beverages like sodas.

    The biggest thing is research, reach out, talk to vendors. If you're having a wedding during a less popular event time, they may be willing to cut some slack on prices.

    Make sure you look at the budget breakdown and see where you can afford to skimps versus where you can't. For instance, I used fake flowers and didn't have them professionally done (MIL wanted to do them, otherwise I would have done them myself). To me, this was not a priority in the budget. Things like food quality, DJ, and photography were. If it's related to proper etiquette for your guests, star that as important. If it's not, take a look and see if you can be happy with cheaper/ alternatives.

    Good luck!
    Buffets are only cheaper when the food is food that is cheap to buy and prepare in mass quantities.  They require less staff than seated dinners when you have a large crows, but if you go gourmet, they can outprice a small, plated, chicken dinner.  Talk to your caterer, share your per person budget and ask them what they can do to accommodate.

    OP didn't mention a cocktail hour, but JIC or for lurkers, I'd skip that and go straight into the reception to save money as well.
    image
  • The best way to keep things on a budget is be flexible and work with your vendors.  Your caterer has a "Budget Friendly Option" you just need to ask.  For my parent's anniversary we went with the caterer's "You get what you get" buffet and it saved us $$/pp over having chosen those same options on a buffet at the same venue and the food was awesome! As for the cash bar - if people were coming over to your house, you'd purchase something for them to drink, no different with a venue.  That doesn't mean you need to purchase top-shelf, just that you do provide something even if that's only NA's and if you want alcohol, something of your choosing.  

  • I have taken some advice that was given on this site so Im hoping to run it by you all again to see if it needs any correcting before I hand out invites. I was originally going to have a home wedding but have now chosen to rent a place that has an indoor gazebo and tropical courtyard. The date is still a weekday as we've always wanted this date but we are now doing a ceremony at 6pm with a light dinner reception, non alcoholic drinks and cake and there will be tables for people to sit at. We've had many tell us to include a cash bar as they would love to have a few drinks so we will include it for their sake although I know it isn't proper ettiquette. How would we word all of this on an invite and does it sound okay? Also im newer to the site...how do I go back and delete previous questions? Thanks
    If you don't want to serve alcohol at your wedding don't let the request of your guests sway you. Its your wedding day and if not having alcohol is important then don't serve it.

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