Resolved; please delete :)

Knottieed8c1a2c57d45f22

   

ILoveBeachMusic

I'm assuming the reception is the same day as the ceremony? I don't see why you can't send a STD. Just make sure it is clear that it isn't for the wedding ceremony itself. Some people might not come want to come if it is for only the reception. The way you are doing this is the only etiquette approved way of doing a reception with people who aren't invited to the ceremony i.e. a truly small, private ceremony with immediate family only.

Knottieed8c1a2c57d45f22

Thank you for your input! I truly was not sure the proper etiquette on this. I'm happy to have some confirmation and I do realize not everyone is a fan of weddings like this.

CMGragain

Is the reception being held on the same day as the ceremony?  If it is, then you can treat it as a wedding reception, and send STDs, if you must, and formal invitations.  (See traditional wording below for invitation to a wedding reception ONLY.)  The wedding traditions you mention are not required.  All that is necessary is that your offer guests food and drink and thank them for coming to your reception.

If the "reception" is being held on a different day than your wedding ceremony day, then it is NOT a wedding reception, but simply a party to celebrate your marriage.  You don't send STDs out for a party.  Just send the simple invitations you would send out for any other party.

However, you must treat your immediate family wedding guests to at least a lunch or dinner after the ceremony if you are not having a big wedding reception on your wedding day.  That is your wedding reception, to thank them for coming to your ceremony.

If you are having a same day wedding reception, this would be traditional wording:

The pleasure of your company is requested

at the wedding reception of

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name

Day, date

at six o'clock

Venue

123 Maple Street

Anytown, Iowa

Use a casual invitation design to get the style of your reception across to your guests.

Knottieed8c1a2c57d45f22

Yes, the reception is the same day. I'm not aiming for a celebration day or a ppd! Thank you for your
advice with verbiage. This will be very helpful!

We do not *need* to send out STDs. I'm just not sure if I should or if this is more of a party that does not require that formality. 

CMGragain

STDs are a very new custom.  Many etiquette books do not even mention them.  I would only send them to out of town guests, or VIPs that will not be at your ceremony.  You can use word of mouth to spread your date plans.  Nobody will think it is odd if you don't send STDs.
The one strict rule about sending STDs is that once you have sent them out, every single person you have sent them to MUST be invited to your event.  An STD is not a formal communication, though.  It is just a "heads up" notice to people to make travel arrangements.

Knottieed8c1a2c57d45f22

Thank you!

geebee908

We really need to get better at quoting.

CMGragain

What a horribly RUDE person, to post, waste our time, and then delete her question.  Ugh!

MobKaz

geebee908 said:

We really need to get better at quoting.

DD's have been happening a lot lately.

ILoveBeachMusic

Why the heck the delete? Responses (including the OPs) were civil and correct.