Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Wedding Regrets

Hi Everyone,

    I need help letting something go and I've tried a lot to let it go and it's still bothering me. I did not record my wedding. I went back and forth on the topic before I was married and we could not afford to hire anyone. I talked to a couple of people and they said they didn't have videos and it wasn't a big deal that the pictures were really what mattered. I talked myself into being fine with just pictures and regretted it the day after our wedding. I've talked to a couple of people who say they don't have any and it isn't a big deal to them and I've had people who did video tape, tell me they haven't even watched their videos. I know there isn't anything I can do about it now but it's still driving me crazy and we are almost at our first anniversary. Any tips out there on how to let this go. I would really like to just move on from it!

Thank you! 

Re: Wedding Regrets

  • There are a TON of things both my H and I would have done differently about our wedding, big things and small things. But at the end of the day, there isn't anything you can do to change it. I agree with everything @flantastic said above about focusing on the great things being married is brining in to your life. 

    The longer you dwell on what you didn't do at your wedding, the more you're going to miss out on in your life. 
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Dwelling on this for a year is not healthy. There is nothing you can do to change this. Focus on the great/happy things that did happen that day. 

    I had a ton of things go wrong at my wedding:
    DJ was late
    Many guests were late and missing the ceremony because of traffic
    The PA system stopped working during my ceremony
    I flubbed the lines during the ceremony

    My entire wedding cake crashed to the ground as my guests were entering the dining room. 
    The DJ lost my song list and decided to just play random songs 

    More things went wrong. I honestly can't remember now. The point is, I still had an amazing and wonderful day that I will cherish forever. 

  • Record your wedding?  Oh, you mean a video!  They didn't have that technology when I was married.  We did just fine without it.
    Of all the things to regret about your wedding, this is the least important thing I can think of.  Sorry, but I just don;t understand.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I didn't have a videographer either.   Never missed it.  Actually no one in my family had one.   Pictures and memories are good enough for us.  As time goes on even our wedding pictures were mostly replaced with more recent pictures of us doing other stuff.

    While special, weddings are not the be all end all of events.  You will have a lifetime of events to share that might not be recorded on video.   

    If you are still stewing over this a year later it might be time for some therapy.  Maybe there is something else really bothering you???

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2017
    My parents have been married almost 30 years and have watched their wedding video a grand total of once (and that once was only because my sibs and I found the tape in a drawer at my grandparents and wanted to see it). H and I did not have a video and so far (four years), we have not regretted it. 

  • Write your movie out as a theatrical script - such that someone could recreate it in their mind's eye.  

    We have a video of our wedding - and no way to play it back.  Technology changes - think of everyone who got their wedding on video back in the 80's!  If the tape is still even good, good luck finding a way to play it back!  Ultimately, be at peace that you know you didn't have it in the budget to record the ceremony nor know anyone who owned a camera that could just "hit the button" to record it for you.  Now, the best way to remember your wedding as it happened is by writing it down such that someone reading it who wasn't there believes it to be a princess story worthy of Disney with the only conflict being no video with the ending being how you resolved that conflict.  You control the story and the narrative, write a new ending without regret!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Videography was part of my package (part of the reason I picked it). I picked the photographer but not the voideographer (george street). He was more into interviewing people than just recording. The guy was so annoying eventually my (usually very very frugal) Dad ended up paying him $100 to leave him alone for the rest of the night. 

  • Thanks everyone! It's funny that I know it isn't a big deal and I shouldn't really worry about it and I totally agree I probably wouldn't even watch it, I think I just focused on it and couldn't get myself to stop.  It helps hearing from other people that it isn't a big deal and I should just let it get to me. I think I just needed to hear it from other people and get out of my own head! 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We barely look at our photos, let alone care about having a video of it. Hope you can move on from being bummed about this soon!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • I didn't originally want a video and didn't get a videographer, however my sFIL ended up recording the video. I'm glad he did.

    Couple things I regret are a couple of photos we didn't take with family, and not prepping a speech just in case.

    Can't go back and do it, so might as well move forward and use it as advise for future couples :)
  • If it really bothers you then you could probably create a slideshow video yourself using the photos you have.  I have a simple video program that came on my laptop and I actually put one of these together on a snowy day when I was trapped in the house.  It was really fun actually, I overlaid it with the songs that were used at the wedding and had them play over the corresponding photos. 

    It's not a super important thing.  I think we've watched our video about four times in a year and a quarter?  But, most of those times were watching it with various family who asked to see it.  But I think if it's really bothering you a slideshow could be a nice substitute.
  • calibride82calibride82 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited June 2017
    I like the scrapbook idea, or making some sort of picture collage so you can experience the memories again. I did have a video, as I wanted the ceremony and our dances recorded. I begged the videographer not to do guest interviews. Most of the video consists of interviews and awkward comments. We meant to make a video edit of our favorite bits distilled into 10 minutes, but we never got around to it. I would watch that on our anniversary, but I have watched the 3 hours epic video only once, an I have been married 9 years.

    oops, sorry - I just noticed the date on this, and have seen it is frowned on here to comment on older posts. Apologies.
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