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Wedding Woes

Friday (feels like a Monday)

I had the hardest time dragging myself out of bed this morning.  It's raining.  I'm tired.  For a good reason (Mr. Heff and I stayed up later than I should have b/c BCBC), but tired nonetheless.  It's inauguration day, and I'm not going to get melodramatic, but y'all know I'm not excited about that.

My mom's appointment was okay.  They took out 8 cm of tumor (!!!), and of 14 lymph nodes, 5 had cancer cells and one had micrometastases.  (Basically, small numbers of cancer cells hanging out.)  Which is not game over, but obviously less preferable than them being cancer-free.  And TBH, I feel a lot less positively about this than I would have if they had found them in, say, only 1 or 2 nodes. 

Her surgeon didn't have a whole lot to say, other than that she forwarded the path report to my mom's oncologist, and she should schedule a follow-up with him.  She removed the surgical drain, ace bandaged her up, gave her some more exercises to do to regain her arm strength, and sent her on her way.  Oh, and she's cleared to drive, walk her dog, and basically do everything except heavy lifting and returning to work.   

My mom says she'll schedule her follow up with her oncologist when she's feeling better, and I think she should do it now.  DH is like "Nag the shit out of her" but he's coming from the perspective of his mom never seeing a doctor and eventually being hospitalized with end-stage liver disease, so that is more about his mom than it is about mine.  I'm going to wait and see, for now.  Maybe text her once to see if she's made her appointment.

We don't really know anything until she sees the oncologist, so I should sit down.  But y'all know I love me some Google.  She was already due to have radiation after, so they may stay the course.  And/or do adjuvant chemo.  And/or do more hormone therapy.  (Her tumor is ER+, so it is sensitive to estrogen, and cutting off the estrogen stunts its growth.  Or should.)  And/or something else.  Meanwhile, my brother's wedding is happening, and there is a possibility that additional treatment will interfere with that timeline.  So we just have to wait until she sees the oncologist.  Which is why I want her to go this morning.  :)

And in routine news, Wooz put together an awesome marine biologist getup for school spirit day.  I asked DS what he wants to be when he grows up, and he said "Wooz."  (When Wooz was his age, she wanted to be a cat when she grew up.)  And despite last night's fun, I am irritated with DH because when he leaves, he always leaves the door to the garage open.  And if the garage door is open, one or both of the cats get out.  And I'm not hardcore, I let them hang out on the porch when we're home and it's nice out, because basically all they do is lounge, and occasionally chitter at a sparrow in a tree.  But I'm not leaving them outdoors all day when no one is home, especially when it's raining. 

So of course the kitten got out, and I had some things to say about it (including wondering why it's so GD hard to shut the effing door), and DH accused me of being "overprotective" of the cats.  Relative to someone who had like 6 cats growing up (one at a time), because no one could be bothered to look after them and they always vanished after a couple of years, yes.  Relative to baseline responsible pet ownership, no.  They don't even have personalized dishes. ;)
charlotte989875MissKittyDangermrsconn23VarunaTTkimmiinthemittenshort+sassy
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Re: Friday (feels like a Monday)

  • I would be nagging my mother, too @Heffalump. I'd want all the answers and plans as soon as they could be made. But everyone has their own timeline, I guess?

    Today is dark and cold and rainy in OH. Kind of reflects my feeling about Inauguration day. We were getting ready this morning and H says, "Damn, he's really going to be the President today". Yup. Sure is. 

    Also, the in laws are coming to dinner on Saturday. I love them. I really do. But we just saw them on New Years, H was gone for a weekend, I was gone for a weekend, so we've hardly had any time to ourselves when we're not rushing off to work. They're moving further away in March, so I know they want to see us a lot before they leave, but telling us Thursday you're coming on Saturday isn't a ton of time. And the house is a mess, it's still a work in progress. 

    I shouldn't complain, we love them, they're wonderful people, but it's been a long week and I just want to spend an evening with my husband. 
    kimmiinthemittenHeffalumpshort+sassy
  • @Heffalump those cats need personalized dishes! Also I would be overprotective too. If our cats get out, there's no damn way they would get back in. Too nosey ...

    @charlotte989875  after having a few busy weekends, I would want down time too :( hopefully they don't stay too long!


    Not much. Did groceries and had to drop off litter for my mum. M also checked her hydro bills and decided she needs to call them for things that just don't make sense.

    I got some stuff organized with the office - mainly the power bar.

    Tonight I'm going for coffee with friends, then when I get home I'll likely bring old laptop upstairs. Still have things to pull from it, but I'd rather it not on the dining room table anymore.

    Saturday I told M I want cleaning done, and afterwards walk up to the dollarama for some stuff.
    Sunday I need to do driving ... so there's that.
  • Ugh Heffa!  I'm sorry it wasn't the all-clear you were hoping for.  She definitely needs to follow-up ASAP and ask a lot of questions about where she goes from here.  Also, pay close attention to what they say about the side-effects of any therapies.  Some can really tank your quality of life and depending on your mom's age, overall health, and the 5 year cure rates on her stage and type, it's something to really think hard about.  ((hugs)) 

    Today is giving me feels.  I'm trying to focus on the sliver of hope I can feel through the dread.  I'm going to try to stream Trump's address.   I'm curious to hear his tone and what he chooses to talk about.  My poor friends that live in DC pretty much feel like hostages in their own homes since the city has been overrun by the circus.  A lot of them are telecommuting, thankfully. 

    I had an all day headache yesterday and I ended up falling asleep on the couch last night.  I went up to bed at 1am and was dreading how I'd feel this morning, but so far I don't feel too bad.  

    I have a three day weekend.  We're going out to dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse tomorrow with some friends.  Bring on the meat coma.  DH and I are scheduled for massages next Friday and I cannot wait.   The last one I had was in Hawaii (it was actually a full body treatment).  I'm beyond ready for another. 

    kimmiinthemittenHeffalumpsparklepants41short+sassy
  • What day is K's bday, @VarunaTT
  • @mrsconn23 technically tomorrow, but we're celebrating tonight.

    Basically, she thought she had this weekend off.  Then the person she shares her job with (home health care nurse) started changing their schedule all around, so she was working this weekend.  So we planned it for tonight.  Then client found out about all the schedule changes and K's bday and got pissed off and forced it back to original schedule and told K to take her weekend off.  So, I think it's basically going to be a bacchanal all weekend.  :smile:
    mrsconn23charlotte989875OurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @Heffalump stay on your mom and good vibes to her. When my oldest was 3, he was asked at school what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said a big chicken or a big banana, which was two things he was afraid of.

    H and I had some bcbc last night too. Unfortunately, halfway through he got cramps in both hamstrings then as he's trying to work them out, Mouse woke up. Not sure what's going on with Mouse, but he would only sleep if I held him in one certain position and would wake up as soon as I laid him back down. I ended up taking him out to my bed and he rolled over on his side and passed out. H put him to bed and he slept there until 4:30 when we repeated the process but H put him in bed with him.

    I desperately need a pedicure and a massage. I still have polish on my toes from October. It's pretty pathetic.


  • Aww! Mine is Monday.  I've never met an adult that has the same bday as me.  I have two friends who had kids on my bday, but it's not the same...LOL.  
    VarunaTTkimmiinthemittenHeffalumpcharlotte989875
  • I added up my timesheets for the last 14 days and I've been full time.  It's going to be a nice paycheck.  I'm fighting the urge to vague book about it just to shove it in SIL's face, but I won't.

    6let had a thing at school this morning so I took the other 2 for donuts.  I have a little work to finish up then I'm taking them to an indoor play place.

    Our only plans this weekend are a bday party 6let is going to (2nd grade is drop off age right?).  I need to return a bunch of things. Otherwise nada.
    mrsconn23MissKittyDangerHeffalumpcharlotte989875
  • @6fsn 6let is starting to look like a small person.  Please stop that, m'kay?  :smile:  Most of the first wave WWers kids are starting to look like that and it's freaking me out.  I'm only cool with the 4-10 crowd, they're aging out of the ages they'll like me!  
  • I'm wearing black today.

    I have cramps from hell, but I'm just glad ol' girl came on time this month.

    This has been a good clean eating week and I'm not going to mess it all up tonight. No, I'm not!!!!!

    Prayers work, y'all. It's been so busy lately, but this week has been so chill. Thank you, Jesus.

    image
    kimmiinthemittencharlotte989875
  • edited January 2017
    Heffa, try not to go to the dark side on Google. It doesn't help and just raising your anxiety. Positive....positive vibes coming your way.
    image
    mrsconn23Heffalump
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Happy birthday @mrsconn23 and K!
    image
    mrsconn23
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2017
    No shit. @VarunaTT He came in our room the other night and said his ankle hurt. I was like "who is this man I my room and why is he complaining about something?"  He's almost to my shoulder!  
    VarunaTTmrsconn23
  • Heffa, I'm glad it's semi-OK news, but I hope you get better news soon.  I'm sorry it's stressful on all of you.  fuck cancer.

    Varuna, enjoy baccanal!

    I'm avoiding all things news and press related today.  because, just no.  I have to enjoy the cats, make pussy hats, and go shopping.  Then the kiddo gets to take the kitten to the vet w/ me which she is excited about :)
    Heffalump
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Aww! Mine is Monday.  I've never met an adult that has the same bday as me.  I have two friends who had kids on my bday, but it's not the same...LOL.  

    My FSIL's birthday is also Monday.  Not that you've met her.  But still. :)
    mrsconn23
  • damnit knot.  ate my post.
    Varuan, enjoy your bacchanal
    Heffa, I'm sorry it was medium news.  fuck cancer.

    And today is all about avoiding media, because I can't handle it.

  • Oh @Heffalump that is tough, I'm sorry.  I feel like I'd be the same as you and wanting to get in to oncology ASAP and know everything, but I can understand needing a couple mental break days too.   Hugs to you and your moms.

    Ugh, Inauguration Day.  I feel 50% like @VarunaTT and 50% tired.  My mom is disabled and lives on medicare/medicaid/food stamps/SSDI.  I've been fighting the good fight on her behalf for the last 18 years and I've fought politicians on both sides of the line.  I'm tired of fighting, and scared this one is going to be really really uphill, but also I'm ready and (figuratively) armed.  And I want to punch Tom Price for saying we're a compassionate society.  My ass.  A compassionate society doesn't leave their disabled with $1,000 to live on each month while simultaneously cutting their food assistance.

    And while I love my local dem club, and how passionate people have gotten this election, I'm a bit weary of the criers.  Stop crying and do something already!

    But this is the earliest I've been awake all week!  Maybe I will be well enough to make it to the rally tomorrow...fingers crossed.
    This is so my feeling, too. The Toledo group is great, but there are people despondent that their children's schools are showing the Inauguration. I get it, it's going to be hard to watch him take the same oath of office as Lincoln and Jefferson, as Kennedy and Obama, and Eisenhower and FDR. That he gets to sit where they sat. I'm still pissed, but okay, do something. Get involved, get active. Cry for a little while, but then get moving. Sorry rant over. 
    mrsconn23OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemitten
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer

    Happy early birthday to @mrsconn23 and K!

    Heffa, I am so sorry you guys didn't get the results you wanted. Hugs to you and your mom.

    Well, my Friday started with being stuck behind a minivan with a license plate that said KatsRUs going 15-20 mph in a 35 on a 2 lane road with no passing. Stopping at every roundabout, even though there was no traffic. All. The. Way. To. Work. Just delightful.

    Other than that, all is well in TFB land. DH is coming home this weekend due to the rainy forecast. Gonna get some much needed BCBC in. I haven't had any time to clean the house this week so we will probably work on that together. I don't think I really have much else planned. Sunday will be an early morning at church, but other than that I am free. My brother and his GF mentioned maybe wanting to hang out with DH and I this weekend.

    I'm honestly getting a little worried about my job. I have absolutely nothing to do today, and neither does anybody else. Our loan officers are hardly bringing in any business at all. The talk of layoffs is getting more frequent. I don't think I'd be one of the people to get laid off, but there is never any guarantee. Nobody is every truly exempt from that.


    mrsconn23
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2017
    I'm streaming.  The crowd looks pink, but it might be those red hats. 

    The mall is very empty-looking.  Not shocking. 
    charlotte989875
  • @Heffalump I'm sorry your mom didn't get the news you all were hoping for. Hugs for you guys!!!

    I'm depressed today. I'm just not at all hopeful about the next 4 years. And a woman standing in line behind me at the coffee shop this morning with her daughter (who looked to be +/- 8 years old) was talking excitedly to her daughter about how she was going to dismiss her from school early so she didn't have to miss any of the inauguration coverage, but not to tell anyone why she was being dismissed early. And the daughter was just as excited - and making sure her mom DVR'd the coverage so she could watch it over and over this weekend. I wanted to vomit and then scream at the woman about all the wrong messages she is sending her daughter, but I refrained and gave her an imaginary middle finger in my head instead.

    On the plus side, I made really amazing and stupidly easy pan seared roasted chicken breasts last night and there are leftovers that H & I are going to eat tonight. 

    AND I am wearing all black today (because I am feeling melodramatic). I am 9 weeks and my black jeans still fit AND zip!!! #smallvictories

    I've decided that I am going to try to find at least one positive thing about each day so I don't get sucked into a Vortex of Despair about our new orange prez.
    OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemittenshort+sassy
  • @sparklepants41  yay for pants that zip ;) was a nickname decided for baby sparklepants on TK? I vote baby sprinkle because that's what I want to write everytime i go to put your username ;)
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I woke up with the worst charlie horse in history of charlie horses.  It still hurts to walk :(  So that was fun.  

    Blackhawks game on Sunday! woot woot


  • @sparklepants41  yay for pants that zip ;) was a nickname decided for baby sparklepants on TK? I vote baby sprinkle because that's what I want to write everytime i go to put your username ;)
    LOL sprinkle is adorable! Baby Pants is called Beans, which is a nickname that H & I called our dog, who passed away right before I found out I was pregnant. So we have been calling the baby Beans because we view this as one last gift from our pup. 
    thefanciestbecklerOurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2017
    oh, and I got an email from my friend who's getting married this year.  She is seriously thinking of a potluck reception for a "homey - family - get together" feel.  100ish guests.  I am trying to discourage her (with all the points I've gotten from the knot over the years) but she's getting really positive feedback from people she's talked to about it.  Seems set in her ways.
    edit: words  

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Happy early birthday K and @mrsconn23!

    Vibes continuing for your mom, @Heffalump!

    Took FW to the doctor, and now we're at TenBucks till her therapy appointment. After that, we go to my doctor. Fun times. On the plus side, I'll have time to read my book club book and do my homework for my sponsor. 

    Tomorrow I'm volunteering in the morning, helping a friend pack for her upcoming move in the afternoon, then meeting with my sponsor.

    Sunday is my drum circle, and I don't know what else I'll do. Maybe correspondence and more reading.
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @charlotte989875 I say that and then I cried when President Obama walked into the inauguration.  

    But I'm also at the office now and decided to kick off my YouTube playlist with Beyonce Formation.  It fits my mood.
    image
    sparklepants41charlotte989875
  • @charlotte989875 I say that and then I cried when President Obama walked into the inauguration.  

    But I'm also at the office now and decided to kick off my YouTube playlist with Beyonce Formation.  It fits my mood.
    I'm trying to take a page from Leslie Knope. I need to turn on some Beyonce. 


    kimmiinthemittenmrsconn23OurWildKingdom
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Finally got my blood work done. Immediately dropped lunch on the ground. Worked two extra hours today that I'm not going to get paid for because my boss loves hearing himself talk.

    Tired. Hungry. Sad. Headachy. 

    Need the wines.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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