Save the Date Questions

Knottiea3cfa9579f72b16c

Hi, we're getting ready to send our STDs and have a few questions:
1) How formally should they be addressed?  Should we use Mr. & Mrs. or first and last names?  If first and last names, do we put the wife's or husband's name first?  For example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or John and Jane Smith or Jane and John Smith.

2) Do we need to indicate on the STD whether single guests get a plus one?  Obviously we'll give a plus one to anyone in a relationship already, but what about single friends who currently are not in any relationship?  If the wedding were only two months away, I'd say no plus one.  But it's 8 months away - what if they've begun a relationship by then?  Can we forgo the "and guest" for now and make our decision about who gets plus ones when we send the formal invitations?

short+sassy

1) I don't really know, I'm sure another poster will give a good answer

2) Anyone in a relationship when the STDs go out should have both people's name on it.  Whether they are married or not.  Not just a "plus one" for people in a relationship.

However, for your truly single friends, it is perfectly fine to NOT include a "plus one".  That is what I would strongly recommend if there is a chance some of them would not get a "plus one" on the invite, if they are still truly single.  If they are in a relationship when the INVITES go out, than you would include their SO's name on the invite.

cowgirl8238

Knottiea3cfa9579f72b16c said:

Hi, we're getting ready to send our STDs and have a few questions:
1) How formally should they be addressed?  Should we use Mr. & Mrs. or first and last names?  If first and last names, do we put the wife's or husband's name first?  For example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or John and Jane Smith or Jane and John Smith.

STDs are a less formal form of communication.  I think that Mr. and Mrs. is fine for a married couple, but for unmarried it should be the woman's name and then the mans. 

2) Do we need to indicate on the STD whether single guests get a plus one?  Obviously we'll give a plus one to anyone in a relationship already, but what about single friends who currently are not in any relationship?  If the wedding were only two months away, I'd say no plus one.  But it's 8 months away - what if they've begun a relationship by then?  Can we forgo the "and guest" for now and make our decision about who gets plus ones when we send the formal invitations?

Don't write "Plus one" on the Save the Date as this is telling the person they will be able to bring a date to the wedding.  All SO's (anyone who considers themselves in a relationship at the time the correspondence goes out) should be included by name.

Answers in Bold.  A few other things to remember:

STD now=Invite later.  Anyone who receives a STD must receive an invitation to the wedding.  Since so many things can change it is advised to only send STDs to your VIPs and Out Of Town guests. 

SO=Anyone in a relationship and Plus One=Truly Single person.  These are not the same thing.

Make sure you have room for a good number of new relationships  (preferably everyone that is single now).  This is determined when invites go out (not STDs).  Giving plus one's is a nice gesture and should be done if you can.  If you need to cut down later on, not giving singles a plus one is an easy budget saver. On the contrary having to add more people than you originally anticipated is not fun!

Always plan for 100% attendance, anything less than that is added money that you can save, or put towards upgrades on your wedding day.

Have fun planning, and feel free to ask away!

southernbelle0915

1) I would let the formality of your event guide your STD. If it's going to be a black tie event, have a fancy STD and use formal addressing. If it's going to be casual, let the STD reflect that.

2) If someone is in a relationship right now, address that person by name. If they're truly single, just write their name (no need for "and guest" at this point). 

geebee908

For now and for lurkers, let's get the terms straight. Two people in a relationship are one complete social unit and you can't invite one without the other; they consider the other person their significant other (SO).

A "plus-one" is a guest of the invited guest and can be anyone that guest chooses to invite to your event. A truly single guest can be given a plus-one but it is not necessary to extend that to them.

However, you should plan for every single person in your guest list to have an SO when your invites go out. Build that in when making up your guest list and you won't be caught off guard if the guest list expands because singles enter into a relationship between the initial planning stages and when invites go out.

Knottiea3cfa9579f72b16c

Thanks for the input everyone. I probably could have been more clear in my original question. For anyone in a relationship, we were of course going to include the SO by name. What I really was unsure of was whether the single friends needed "and guest" included on the STD, or if we could save that for the formal invitations as budget allows, and if their relationship status should change by then.  It sounds like the latter is the way to go.  

SP29

Knottiea3cfa9579f72b16c said:

Hi, we're getting ready to send our STDs and have a few questions:
1) How formally should they be addressed?  Should we use Mr. & Mrs. or first and last names?  If first and last names, do we put the wife's or husband's name first?  For example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or John and Jane Smith or Jane and John Smith.

STDs are informal by nature, so addressing can be informal. I would address them the same way you would address a letter or Christmas card to your guests. The "rule" is you never separate a man from his last name. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, or Jane and John Smith.

2) Do we need to indicate on the STD whether single guests get a plus one?  Obviously we'll give a plus one to anyone in a relationship already, but what about single friends who currently are not in any relationship?  If the wedding were only two months away, I'd say no plus one.  But it's 8 months away - what if they've begun a relationship by then?  Can we forgo the "and guest" for now and make our decision about who gets plus ones when we send the formal invitations?

For truly single guests, no, you would not indicated an "and guest". A STD is merely for information, to let your guests know an invitation is coming. The rule is that anyone in a relationship at the time invitations are sent must be invited with their SO (by name). Thus, wait to include "and guest" until your invites, as you won't know now who is or isn't in a relationship then.