Hello!
My wedding theme colors are various shades of purple with small accents of gold. We were planning on having the groom and BM/GM wear charcoal. The BM/MOH will wear dark purple. Flower Girl will be wearing white/lilac.
My mom is having trouble coming up with a color to wear for MOB. She likes the idea of black and gold, but I'm not sure that will go, as all of the dresses she's shown me have more black than gold in them. She is telling me all of the MOB dresses are navy (wont go for sure), brown, gold/black, smoke, silver or champagne. All of the champagne colors look too close to my wedding dress color and silver will clash with the gold accents.
What colors do you think would go best? Both MOB and FMIL are against wearing light colors since they are both fair skinned. I feel like there is only 1 color option that will truly work (smoke), but then what color does FMIL wear?
Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I am baffled at this point and I don't want my wedding to look too "Halloweeny" with the purple/black/gold in August, but I'm not sure that will really be an issue with just one dress. My mom just wants to look and feel her best alone and standing with the wedding party.
Also, I understand my FMIL can wear whatever color she wants, but my mom is pretty set on the "traditional" she picks first, then FMIL so they don't "wear the same color". My FMIL has no idea and asked me for suggestions (at first she thought she had to match the BM). Both of them are asking me for color help, and honestly, I am running out of ideas!
Thank you!
Re: MOB/FMIL Dress Colors?
Tell them to stop asking you and wear what they feel beautiful in (and they don't have to pick it out of the 'mother of the bride' section! They can just go to a department store they like.)
I would tell both mothers to find an outfit that makes them feel good in the right degree of formality and let it go at that.
I don't think black/gold/purple looks Halloween-y at all.
Black is a neutral- it goes with everything. Doesn't matter if she wants to wear champagne or silver.
Who cares what color the MOB and MOG wear? They're not in the wedding party. Just tell them to pick whatever and focus your energy on something fun like flowers or your playlist.
My MIL asked me no less than 6 million times what color/style/length she should wear. I just kept saying "wear whatever you want" on repeat. My wedding was outside in the summer and my colors were navy, ivory and spring green. She ended up wearing a collared, yellow dress, semi-casual wrap style. My mom wore a dark purple semi-formalish satin dress with a rhinestone broach. They both looked awesome and our pictures looked great too.
Black is a neutral colour and will look lovely, as would navy. Just keep letting your mom know that whatever colour/dress she likes will be fine. If she is really struggling, suggest going dress shopping with her, but don't dictate colours.
Your FMIL gets to choose her dress. Ditto everything I just posted.
The bride does not choose colors or dresses for the MOB or the FMIL. As long as they don't show up wearing a wedding dress, it is OK.
If your mom wants your help finding something she looks good in, offer to go through her closet with her or take her to Macy's or something until she finds that dress that makes her go "wow--I look good!" Tell her to forget your color scheme, as she may feel "trapped" in certain styles or colors, but nothing she really likes.
If she's afraid people won't know she's the MOB--we got our moms and grandmothers corsages and our dads and grandfathers bouts, to recognize them as guests of honor.
Best idea is find out what kind of style they would like, and suggest going shopping with them
My MIL had a dress that worked perfectly and she already had it in her closet. My mum and I ended up finding a great dress at a vintage show!
My Mom and MIL were both baffled by the whole "you can wear whatever you want". I helped my Mom look through her closet to pick something (she doesn't like shopping and has some really pretty items already) and my MIL went wild and found something new she liked at Nordstroms.
They did end up in one picture together (we ended up doing one with all of us together) but it isn't something I really cared about.
I would have separate conversations with each about wearing whatever and let both make their decisions independent from each other.
Both my mom and MIL asked me about their dresses and I told them to wear whatever they want. My mom ended up texting me some picture of dresses and purchased a nice blue dress from Kohls (on sale with a coupon) for like $30. My MIL went the more traditional "MOB" style and got a very nice much more formal looking grey dress. The dad's both wore suits they already owned. We used flowers (bouts for the guys and corsages that could be pinned to the dress if they wanted for the women) and no one was confused on who was who.
I'm glad to see that some of these trends are starting to die off. I much prefer the wear whatever you want approach to the whole it must be X dress.
Like others have said, your mom doesn't have to pick first. Personally, I think it's rude to the MOG. Why make her wait until the last minute?
Anyway, purple, silver, black, gray, silver would all look good.
Oh, I've seen many MOB and MOG wear the same color, similar colors of each other or even the BMs. They've always looked great to me.
As for MOB choosing a dress first and MOG, choosing second - that's an old tradition from a time when the POB paid for the wedding and the MOB ran the whole wedding show. Poor MOG had to be careful not to step on MOB's toes.
She did not attend daughter's wedding for several reasons. She loved that dress so much, that when she died, I cut the tags off and had her buried in it. It was what she wanted.
....and you thought YOUR family was weird!
Ditto PP though that your mom and FMIL should wear whatever makes them feel happiest. If one of them falls in love with, say, a green dress, they should def wear it, even if it does't "go" so to speak with the colors.
Honestly as long as their dresses aren't completely obnoxious, they won't clash with your WP for the few pictures you'll all be in together. Once things get going, no one will be looking that closely at what anyone is wearing anyway!
Our family kind of did the same. Our wedding colours were navy, plum and lavender. Both our moms wore purple, in different shades (though purple is both of their favourite colours anyway). SIL wore a cobalt blue dress. We gave my brothers purple ties to wear. My dad chose to wear a tie with purple in it. FIL wore a blue tie. Other than that, people wore what they wanted, but navy is pretty neutral, and purple goes with a lot anyway, so it was easy to get a cohesive look without anyone planning anything out. I imagine many people, if close with the bride and groom, would try to match, but they still have the freedom of colour (same or matching), shade and clothing itself.
I also had some people ask me what our wedding colours were. Family usually asked because they wanted to coordinate, and one of my friends asked because she didn't want to wear the same colour as my BMs (even though I told her to wear whatever she wanted!!).