What to do with first wedding items?

[Deleted User]

I still have my dress and photo album from my first wedding.  FH moved in this last week and we had a small disagreement last night. He wants me to get rid of anything and everything that I had with XH.  It's not like I have anything displayed, but they are tucked away.  I don't feel right trashing professional photographs, but I do see his point.  I have justified by saying my kids might want those pictures someday (The dress, I just haven't taken the time to sell yet).   What did you do with the items from your first wedding??

southernbelle0915

SraMitt said:

I still have my dress and photo album from my first wedding.  FH moved in this last week and we had a small disagreement last night. He wants me to get rid of anything and everything that I had with XH.  It's not like I have anything displayed, but they are tucked away.  I don't feel right trashing professional photographs, but I do see his point.  I have justified by saying my kids might want those pictures someday (The dress, I just haven't taken the time to sell yet).   What did you do with the items from your first wedding??

This is kind of a red flag, IMHO. Your past is part of the package.

I can understand him not wanting pictures of your XH displayed (I agree that would be odd), but it's more like a historical record and family tree thing. It's not like it's explicit or offensive in any way. In my view, he doesn't really have a choice. If you want to keep pictures of your family, it's not really up to him. Same if he wants to keep pictures or relic of his past. 

Heffalump

All of this ^^^

Also, for your gown, since you are interested in getting rid of it and just haven't yet, this is an option, as well:

http://www.nicuhelpinghands.org/programs/angel-gown-program/

[Deleted User]

Heffalump said:

All of this ^^^

Also, for your gown, since you are interested in getting rid of it and just haven't yet, this is an option, as well:

http://www.nicuhelpinghands.org/programs/angel-gown-program/

I've been highly considering the angel gowns.  I am a mother of an angel baby and would have loved something like this for my son. 

CMGragain

SraMitt said:

I still have my dress and photo album from my first wedding.  FH moved in this last week and we had a small disagreement last night. He wants me to get rid of anything and everything that I had with XH.  It's not like I have anything displayed, but they are tucked away.  I don't feel right trashing professional photographs, but I do see his point.  I have justified by saying my kids might want those pictures someday (The dress, I just haven't taken the time to sell yet).   What did you do with the items from your first wedding??

Whoa, your FI sounds really insecure!  He might request that you not display photos of your ex, but to get ride of them?  What?  Are you sure about this guy?  He sounds really controlling!

I am 66 years old.  I still have photos of my old boyfriends i dated when I was in my early twenties.  They are in a box somewhere.  I don't look at them anymore except to see how gorgeous I was at age 22.  This doesn't bother DH at all.  Why should it?  Thanks for the memories, boys! 

climbingsingle

I think it's a giant red flag that he wants you to throw away your old wedding items, especially since you have children with your ex. Your kids will most likely be interested in seeing pictures one day. Hell, my cousin wore her mother's wedding dress for her own wedding, and her parents got divorced when she was 15. 

I don't think this is a reasonable request.