Picking Wedding Food - NEED ADVICE

Nej9

My fiancé and I are having a tiff over food options. We are allowed 3 choices, one is a mandatory vegetarian dish. We're getting married in Plymouth, MA, it's a coastal town right outside of Cape Cod. I keep saying we need to have a fish option on the menu, it's a given for a Cape Codish wedding, he feels we should have red meat and a chicken dish along with the vegetarian. Keep in mind this is an August wedding as well. Please let me know if I'm crazy for thinking fish belongs on the list for entrée options?

sparklepants41

Nej9 said:

My fiancé and I are having a tiff over food options. We are allowed 3 choices, one is a mandatory vegetarian dish. We're getting married in Plymouth, MA, it's a coastal town right outside of Cape Cod. I keep saying we need to have a fish option on the menu, it's a given for a Cape Codish wedding, he feels we should have red meat and a chicken dish along with the vegetarian. Keep in mind this is an August wedding as well. Please let me know if I'm crazy for thinking fish belongs on the list for entrée options?

Hi, OP - I'm from the South Shore as well - H and I had our wedding in a town on the coast a little ways North of Plymouth. H is allergic to seafood. But my favorite fish is swordfish. And my whole side of the family loves fish. In fact, I always tell people I am surf and H is turf. LOL. Our venue allowed us three options. So we had filet mignon, swordfish, or a vegetarian pasta dish as our options.

How many meal options will your venue allow you to have? If four, then go with all four - red meat, chicken, fish, and vegetarian.

If three, then I think it's a know your crowd kind of thing. Are a lot of your guests seafood fans? Then do beef, seafood, & a veg option. If not, then I would go with beef, chicken, and a veg option. If you go with beef/chicken/veg, you could always incorporate seafood into an appetizer or a soup course...

Nej9

So they allow 3 options and one has to be the vegetarian option so that's what we're stuck with is, do we go beef a chicken or do we do chicken and a fish. I feel like chicken has to be on the menu so it's just between beef and a fish at this point, the price difference is pretty large so I just wanted to see what majority thought. I really appreciate the advice!

ei34

Ditto PP, this is know your crowd.   I'd lean towards subbing the chicken for seafood, but red meat-chicken-veg are fine too.

Ask your caterer what kind of seafood apps he or she offers. Off the top of my head, there are crab cakes, scallops, shrimp cocktail, tuna salad brushetta, calamari, frutta del mare...you could also have lobster rolls as a late night snack?

SaintPaulGal

I would do beef-fish-veg.  I don't think anyone will miss the chicken, but a lot would probably miss the beef.  

lyndausvi

I would do beef, fish, veg.    

STARMOON44

I don't see why chicken has to be on the menu. Beef or fish, with vegetarian as the third option, is a really standard wedding menu. 

geebee908

I see the chicken and fish as interchangeable; they are both a light meat option. So it makes sense to have red meat, light meat, and no meat. Use the chicken or seafood in the apps depending on which you choose for the entree.

cowgirl8238

I agree with a few other PPs that this a know your crowd thing.  I personally am not huge on seafood and neither is most of my family or DHs relatives.  We had a seafood app but did chicken/beef/pork/veg options for dinner as our package came with 4 but the seafood one was a significant mark-up.

If you need a vegetarian option and you want seafood and he wants chicken than I think one of you will need to compromise.  IMO you should offer the Beef option (regardless) and the Chicken option then have a few seafood infused appetizers.  It gives you that coastal vibe without forcing your FI (or other guests who may not like seafood) to having a more limited menu for the main course.

kahluakoala

You should definitely do beef and fish. If I went to a wedding in cape cod I would be incredibly disappointed if there wasn't a seafood option. Most people think chicken is "fine" but few will miss it IMO

sparklepants41

KahluaKoala said:

You should definitely do beef and fish. If I went to a wedding in cape cod I would be incredibly disappointed if there wasn't a seafood option. Most people think chicken is "fine" but few will miss it IMO

This is exactly why we chose beef/fish/veg for our wedding. The majority of the guests from my family's side were traveling from OOT and where our wedding was right on the water, I think they would have been extremely disappointed if there hadn't been a seafood option. The non seafood lovers really enjoyed the beef. 

southernbelle0915

If you get three and one is mandatory vegetarian, why don't you ask him to pick option 2 and you pick option 3. Doesn't get more diplomatic than that. And I don't think you can go wrong with any of those options, no matter what combination.

charlotte989875

I agree with Beef-Fish-Veg and ditch the Chicken. 

MesmrEwe

Know your crowd for deciding on Fish or Chicken...  IMO it also depends on what each are and how filling they'd be.  

mandypants90

Idk how helpful this will be, but it's food for thought.
FI had two cousins get married in Baltimore this fall. 
One at dinner, instead of having a salad, the first course was she-crab soup, and dinner was a beef filet with a crab cake on the side. I love seafood. I was all for it. FI HATES seafood. 
Second wedding, dinner was crab cakes. 
FI still hated it.
So I guess I would say make sure there are plenty of options. Would you be able to incorporate some of that into your cocktail hour (if you're having one) or as a side dish? That would make everyone happy probably. 
Don't forget about allergies too. I have some friends who can't even be around it, or touched by someone who's had seafood. I second PP's suggestion of he chooses one dinner, and you choose one as well. Diplomacy. Good luck!

ILoveBeachMusic

mandypants90 said:

Idk how helpful this will be, but it's food for thought.
FI had two cousins get married in Baltimore this fall. 
One at dinner, instead of having a salad, the first course was she-crab soup, and dinner was a beef filet with a crab cake on the side. I love seafood. I was all for it. FI HATES seafood. 
Second wedding, dinner was crab cakes. 
FI still hated it.
So I guess I would say make sure there are plenty of options. Would you be able to incorporate some of that into your cocktail hour (if you're having one) or as a side dish? That would make everyone happy probably. 
Don't forget about allergies too. I have some friends who can't even be around it, or touched by someone who's had seafood. I second PP's suggestion of he chooses one dinner, and you choose one as well. Diplomacy. Good luck!

You shouldn't be allowed to visit Baltimore if you don't like crab cakes!! I would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner while there if I could.

SP29

I would go with the fish. It is a know your crowd, but I think as long as there are other options than fish (which you have), it would really be a treat to have fish in Cape Cod.

mandypants90

ILoveBeachMusic said:

mandypants90 said:

Idk how helpful this will be, but it's food for thought.
FI had two cousins get married in Baltimore this fall. 
One at dinner, instead of having a salad, the first course was she-crab soup, and dinner was a beef filet with a crab cake on the side. I love seafood. I was all for it. FI HATES seafood. 
Second wedding, dinner was crab cakes. 
FI still hated it.
So I guess I would say make sure there are plenty of options. Would you be able to incorporate some of that into your cocktail hour (if you're having one) or as a side dish? That would make everyone happy probably. 
Don't forget about allergies too. I have some friends who can't even be around it, or touched by someone who's had seafood. I second PP's suggestion of he chooses one dinner, and you choose one as well. Diplomacy. Good luck!

You shouldn't be allowed to visit Baltimore if you don't like crab cakes!! I would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner while there if I could.

Lol, right? His cousins asked him about Old Bay; he looked like they were crazy. They said "What do you eat your crabs with?" 
"...I don't" he said. They were shocked, lol. 
I will always eat his share of crab cakes. 

sparklepants41

ILoveBeachMusic said:

mandypants90 said:

Idk how helpful this will be, but it's food for thought.
FI had two cousins get married in Baltimore this fall. 
One at dinner, instead of having a salad, the first course was she-crab soup, and dinner was a beef filet with a crab cake on the side. I love seafood. I was all for it. FI HATES seafood. 
Second wedding, dinner was crab cakes. 
FI still hated it.
So I guess I would say make sure there are plenty of options. Would you be able to incorporate some of that into your cocktail hour (if you're having one) or as a side dish? That would make everyone happy probably. 
Don't forget about allergies too. I have some friends who can't even be around it, or touched by someone who's had seafood. I second PP's suggestion of he chooses one dinner, and you choose one as well. Diplomacy. Good luck!

You shouldn't be allowed to visit Baltimore if you don't like crab cakes!! I would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner while there if I could.

Don't forget about snacks in between! And dessert! 

Aaaaaaaaand now I want crab cakes.

InLoveInQueens

mandypants90 said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

mandypants90 said:

Idk how helpful this will be, but it's food for thought.
FI had two cousins get married in Baltimore this fall. 
One at dinner, instead of having a salad, the first course was she-crab soup, and dinner was a beef filet with a crab cake on the side. I love seafood. I was all for it. FI HATES seafood. 
Second wedding, dinner was crab cakes. 
FI still hated it.
So I guess I would say make sure there are plenty of options. Would you be able to incorporate some of that into your cocktail hour (if you're having one) or as a side dish? That would make everyone happy probably. 
Don't forget about allergies too. I have some friends who can't even be around it, or touched by someone who's had seafood. I second PP's suggestion of he chooses one dinner, and you choose one as well. Diplomacy. Good luck!

You shouldn't be allowed to visit Baltimore if you don't like crab cakes!! I would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner while there if I could.

Lol, right? His cousins asked him about Old Bay; he looked like they were crazy. They said "What do you eat your crabs with?" 
"...I don't" he said. They were shocked, lol. 
I will always eat his share of crab cakes. 

That's the one perk. My husband doesn't like cake (wtf i know) so I always get double servings of cake. At my friends wedding in December he tried a little bit of the cake (funfetti cake from Momofuku), made a face, and shoved it in front of me. It was glorious.