Dear Prudence,
I’m a 64-year-old man from Los Angeles who has been married for 38 years to a great lady. About 10 years ago, she contracted a form of cancer that rendered her disabled, and we stopped being intimate. Her life now consists of going to get treatment a few times a week and maybe going to the grocery store. She doesn’t have energy for much else, as she gets weaker every year. I will stay with her until the end.
My wife has asked me several times to find a gal-pal or friend with benefits, and says she would be more than fine with this arrangement. For the last eight years my New Year’s resolution was to find a girlfriend to spend time with. I’ve been very slow to make progress, even though I’ve stopped wearing a wedding ring and try to chat up age-appropriate women.
So how do I go about finding a gal-pal if I’m married? I don’t think a website geared toward cheaters is the answer (since I’ve got my wife’s OK and I’m not really looking for a friend with benefits). I was thinking of using a senior dating service like OurTime, but noticed that this and similar sites are for singles only. I really like live theater and see about 30 shows a year; my typical companion is a book. There must be lots of sixtysomething women in L.A. who would like a gentleman friend for going to plays and musicals. How do I make a connection without misrepresenting myself? Thanks for your help!
—Looking for Companionship