I don't think this problem will be solved through being a 'friend'.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I have a co-worker I don’t know how to handle. We’re friends who sometimes socialize together outside of work. She is very intelligent but becomes visibly upset when she is corrected or proven wrong, and she avoids taking anyone’s advice unless absolutely necessary, even when she asks a question! She won’t lash out, but she shuts down the conversation, which makes it difficult to get anything accomplished when we have to work together. As a friend, I’d like to level with her that her behavior isn’t OK. If she weren’t my co-worker, I would say something, but I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama on our team. But she’s struggling at work because of this. She won’t reach out for help, and she constantly complains about how she’s been forced into this bad position and can’t progress in her career, and that our manager doesn’t like her so she’s just letting her fail. Is there anything I can do to help her, or at least stop her from getting on my nerves?

—Don’t Shut Down

Heffalump

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
I have a co-worker I don’t know how to handle. We’re friends who sometimes socialize together outside of work. She is very intelligent but becomes visibly upset when she is corrected or proven wrong, and she avoids taking anyone’s advice unless absolutely necessary, even when she asks a question! She won’t lash out, but she shuts down the conversation, which makes it difficult to get anything accomplished when we have to work together. As a friend, I’d like to level with her that her behavior isn’t OK. If she weren’t my co-worker, I would say something, but I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama on our team. But she’s struggling at work because of this. She won’t reach out for help, and she constantly complains about how she’s been forced into this bad position and can’t progress in her career, and that our manager doesn’t like her so she’s just letting her fail. Is there anything I can do to help her, or at least stop her from getting on my nerves?

—Don’t Shut Down

Try this:

southernbelle0915

So Friend (but mostly co-worker) wants to point out a detrimental personality flaw to someone who gets visibly upset when she is corrected or proven wrong. 

What could possibly go wrong?

VarunaTT

I don't think this sounds like the level of friendship where this would be an acceptable conversation.

The employment is literally:

charlotte989875

Unless LW is her supervisor, say nothing. Sure it's frustrating, but unless she's your employee, or it's affecting your work it's something she has to figure out on her own. 

justsie

Does anyone else feel like there is bound to be someone exactly like LWs co-worker/frienemy at at least one other job you worked in? Like girl, get over it and stop worrying about others you are not responsible for. 

mrsconn23

justsie said:

Does anyone else feel like there is bound to be someone exactly like LWs co-worker/frienemy at at least one other job you worked in? Like girl, get over it and stop worrying about others you are not responsible for. 

I have someone on my team like this.  During team meetings, my team BFF and I talk mad shit about her over IM.   Conference call team meetings is a HUGE WAH benefit.  No one can see your face and you have access to your computer and IM.   

Co-irker hasn't met a dead horse that she doesn't think needs a good beating.