NWR: What to do about a stranger's mental health

SaintPaulGal

I need a neutral opinion.

There is a young man who has fixated on my place of business (a hotel).  He sent an email to everyone here that included information about his mental health diagnosis.  Since then, he has been calling and showing up and generally harassing staff here.  Police have told him not to come on the property or contact us again, but that hasn't put an end to it.  He doesn't seem dangerous, just distressed.

One of the things he did is tag the business in a facebook post, and he has family members listed on his page.  Should I reach out to his mother to let her know that he needs help?  Or is that a terrible idea?  I just want him to be okay.  He is obviously going through some things.

Help.

knottiej

Are you able to get some sort of no trespass order? 

MissKittyDanger

Has someone from the hotel spoken to him? May someone needs to advise him that you {general *you*} can't help him, but support him to get help. He might be reaching out for help and isn't sure?

SaintPaulGal

KnottieJanel, he is currently subject to a no trespass order, but I'm honestly not sure he is in a state of mind to understand what that is right now.  

And @MissKittyDanger, my colleagues have definitely spoken to him, but he got very troublesome before it became clear that there was a mental health issue in play.  He refused to pay for his room, name dropped us to get more free services that were then charged to us, and a few other things that make the people dealing with him feel less than charitable towards him.  Basically at this point tensions are too high for anyone to be able to do much to encourage him to get help directly.  

I don't want to just ignore him and find out later that something horrible happened to him, but I'm also not sure it is my place to get involved.  Ugg. Based on what his facebook says, his parents live in a town an hour or so away from here.  No idea if he has a support system in this city.

kimmiinthemitten

I appreciate where your heart is, but IMO reaching out to his mom via facebook is no less of a trespassing/harassment incident than what he's doing to the staff where you work. 

I'd call and ask for a police supervisor when he's not in the hotel to discuss some alternative ideas since he isn't listening to their directions to avoid the property. Maybe they can drive him home and walk him to his door and speak with whomever answers (assuming he doesn't be live alone). 

missJeanLouise

Check if there is a mental health hotline in your city. They would probably have some resources and advice to share.

AddieCake

It's not appropriate to reach out to his mother. You don't know him, and you don't know her. You should not be contacting his family members. Let authorities handle it. 

charlotte989875

Do you have a city or county (province?) social work or mental health department? They may have better resources especially if the police can't/won't do much now. 

I definitely would not contact his family or reach out via Facebook, in addition to what PPs have said it might further his belief he has a connection with you and the other staff. 

When he is there and not respecting to NTO I would call the police, so they can come and assist you. Unless you are a trained mental health professional you shouldn't try to intervene directly; reach out to some additional resources. 

JediElizabeth

Are you a manager there? If not, I would talk to the manager (or director, or GM), ask them to bring in a mental health professional to consult with, and get the whole staff on the same page as to how to deal with it: whether it's to call the police or mental health services every time or something else. You may also want to work the the police to tell them what they know, as (depending on the region) they may be more likely to bring them to a local mental health ER instead of the station if they know it's an issue. (They can't keep him there unless he's a threat to himself or others, but they can at least do more good than you can.)

Whatever you do, the hotel staff & management shouldn't be making the decisions; you should leave that to mental health and/or law enforcement professionals. All you should do is provide a consistent response, which will protect you and may help him to better understand.

If management is reticent about treating this as an issue, I'd bring up the PR factor: what would people think if this was all in the paper? What if it reported that you could do something only after he or someone else got hurt?

MairePoppy

charlotte989875 said:

Do you have a city or county (province?) social work or mental health department? They may have better resources especially if the police can't/won't do much now. 

I definitely would not contact his family or reach out via Facebook, in addition to what PPs have said it might further his belief he has a connection with you and the other staff. 

When he is there and not respecting to NTO I would call the police, so they can come and assist you. Unless you are a trained mental health professional you shouldn't try to intervene directly; reach out to some additional resources. 

As the mother of a son with mental health issues, I think this is the best option.
Call your local social services department or local emergency room and let them know there is a problem. You could try calling 211 for info in your state. 

http://apps.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/deptdirapp/ContactDetails.aspx?contactID=3972

Don't hesitate to call the police if he trespasses on the property or if you feel he is in immediate danger or presenting a threat. If you have to call several times, they may refer him to the appropriate agency.

SainPalGal, I want to give you a big, giant hug for caring. I would respond appropriately to such a call about my son, but you don't know that man's parents and how they might respond. They might figure out who you are, where you work and share the info with the son. Please make sure you are being safe.