Second for me, first for him

[Deleted User]

We haven't talked much about the when and where... but the rough details are looking like it may be in September, in Newfoundland. We live in Ottawa.

I have 3 young teen kids, he has a 4 year old.

I have lots of extended family. He does as well.

We're on a very low budget... there isn't much extra cash to go around.

Should we announce it? Should we do the whole engagement party / shower / party thing?

Heffalump

VADI said:

We haven't talked much about the when and where... but the rough details are looking like it may be in September, in Newfoundland. We live in Ottawa.

I have 3 young teen kids, he has a 4 year old.

I have lots of extended family. He does as well.

We're on a very low budget... there isn't much extra cash to go around.

Should we announce it? Should we do the whole engagement party / shower / party thing?

When you say "Should we announce it?" do you mean your engagement?  Or do you mean elope and then announce that you're married after the fact?  Sorry, that part wasn't really clear to me.

As for the engagement party/shower/party, for the first two, you can decide whether that's something you'd like, if and when someone offers to throw them for you.  You can't really throw yourself a party in your own honor.  As to the last, again: do you mean a wedding reception, or a celebration of marriage after the two of you elope? 

If it's the former, then yes, anyone who you invite to witness your wedding needs to be hosted afterward, whether that's lunch, dinner, cake and soft drinks, or whatever else is appropriate for the time of day.  If you're eloping, then a party after the fact is not a requirement.  You can throw one if you like--just like any other party--so long as it's not some sort of faux-wedding (bridesmaids, first dance, etc.).  But a party is always okay. 

flantastic

VADI said:

We haven't talked much about the when and where... but the rough details are looking like it may be in September, in Newfoundland. We live in Ottawa.

I have 3 young teen kids, he has a 4 year old.

I have lots of extended family. He does as well.

We're on a very low budget... there isn't much extra cash to go around.

Should we announce it? Should we do the whole engagement party / shower / party thing?

If cash is tight, why would you have a destination wedding in Newfoundland? Why does it need to be there?

southernbelle0915

If you have a small budget, I would avoid meal time so you don't have to serve a meal and keep your guest list small. Those are the big hitters on keeping budget in check. 

As far as announcing your engagement, I would just call or email people (free and totally normal). For actual invites, vistaprint is no frills and very reasonable.

If someone offers to throw you an engagement party or a shower, you can certainly accept, but that's not going to come out of your budget anyway as it's hosted by someone else in your honor. Same with a bachelor/bachelorette - you wouldn't plan it, but you should plan to pay your own way (like meals and hotel, if applicable). If your friends surprise you and pay your way, great!

CMGragain

Engagements are only announced in the newspaper.  Written, mailed engagement announcements are a faux pas.  Word of mouth is fine.  You never throw your own engagement party, which is in your own honor!  If you have one, it is given by someone else for you.  Many people don't get them.

A wedding requires two people who want to be married, a license, an officiant, and witnesses.  That is all.

I assume you will want to have your children there, too.  If you have guests, you need written invitations (I second, Vistaprint!), a chair for every bum, and food and drink of some kind.   Flowers and music are also a nice touch.

Afternoon tea style weddings are not expensive.  Just serve trays of little sandwiches, veggies, and, of course, cake.  It can be a decorated sheet cake from the grocery store.  It doesn't have to be one of those expensive tiered creations.  Coffee, tea, and punch for the kids, of course.  Alcohol is not necessary.

You never announce a wedding until after it has occurred.  It would be rude to announce it to people who will not be invited, wouldn't it?  After your wedding, you can mail out marriage announcements to people who were not invited to the wedding, letting them know that you are now married.

We like to help brides on a budget.  Just remember that destination weddings are expensive for your guests to attend.  They don't work well with large families.  If you expect a lot of family to attend, you should plan a wedding that makes it easier for them.  You can always go to Newfoundland on your honeymoon.

[Deleted User]

We would rather be around family. My family can afford to travel, his cannot.

[Deleted User]

What we are looking at, in terms of what we'd like, is definitely an afternoon wedding with a reception afterwards.

We have approximately 6000 to use so far, 2000 of which is used exclusively for travel, so 4000 for the wedding/reception. My mother may give us some cash towards it, but we're not expecting anything. Any spare cash is being put aside, too.

All in all we have an estimated guest list of 60 people, assuming everyone we want there comes. 

We don't need anything elaborate... we'd kind of prefer something down to earth, simple... but not tacky.

thanks for the info about whether to announce or not.

CMGragain

My sister had a lovely wedding one afternoon at a city park.  They reserved the shelter and served pulled pork and picnic foods from the grocery store.  The kids all ran around and played in the park, and it was very nice.  They did have to rent some chairs for everybody.

Photography might be your biggest cost.  I recommend doing it.  After the wedding is over, your photos are there for you to help you remember a beautiful day.

SP29

Also look at renting out a community hall, church basement or Knights of Columbus hall, if you're still looking.