Attire and Accessories

Mixed Gender Ushers

Hi there!  We are getting married in November and have asked my two nephews and niece to be ushers at our wedding.  The ceremony will be a Catholic Mass, and our church layout is a little different, so we are asking them to act really as greeters, more than seaters.  

My questions is if anyone has seen a cute idea for dressing ushers that are mixed gender?  My bridesmaids will be wearing slate/steel blue, and the groomsmen possibly grey.  Our other colors are silver and red, which would be too loud for my niece to wear, but another dress might match the bridesmaids too much and confuse my older (read:etiquette crazy) guests.  Thoughts?

Re: Mixed Gender Ushers

  • Ushers are not a part of your wedding party.  They do not need to match you colors at all.  How old are the boys?  If they are at least 12, they should wear suits.  The girls should wear dresses.
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    eileenrob
  • Hi there!  We are getting married in November and have asked my two nephews and niece to be ushers at our wedding.  The ceremony will be a Catholic Mass, and our church layout is a little different, so we are asking them to act really as greeters, more than seaters.  

    My questions is if anyone has seen a cute idea for dressing ushers that are mixed gender?  My bridesmaids will be wearing slate/steel blue, and the groomsmen possibly grey.  Our other colors are silver and red, which would be too loud for my niece to wear, but another dress might match the bridesmaids too much and confuse my older (read:etiquette crazy) guests.  Thoughts?
    There's a big difference between caring for etiquette and caring for whatever traditions your older guests hold dear. Etiquette is about not making others feel uncomfortable. Traditions often do the exact opposite. 

    Your guests experiences should not be changed by the attire of your ushers, wedding party, or even you. How they dress is traditional or not, depending on your choices. 

    Don't pay any attention to people who side eye that stuff. Instead, worry about things that changes guest experience for the better (not having a gap, making sure your guests are comfortable during the reception, etc.)
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    charlotte989875
  • I am a female and was an usher in my cousin's wedding. Her husband's male cousin was the other usher. I wore a black dress & he wore a suit and honestly I don't think anyone gave a damn what either of us looked like. We were present for the rehearsal, just so we understood the flow of the day, but it was a pretty minor thing. I think as long as we looked nice & presentable, it probably would have been fine.
    Heffalump
  • Exactly the point: they're not part of the wedding party, so we wanted to not confuse people.

    Thanks for the positive and helpful comments!
  • Exactly the point: they're not part of the wedding party, so we wanted to not confuse people.

    Thanks for the positive and helpful comments!

    I don't think people will get confused regardless of the dress. If someone is present at the beginning before people in similar looking dresses/suits start walking down the aisle, I will assume they are ushers. If people are walking down the aisle one after another to music and the guests are seated, I would assume they are part of the wedding party. Keep it simple and let them wear whatever they would like. A bout/corsage would be a lovely touch.
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