Wedding Woes

Trying to time my reveal

Dear Prudence,
I am transgender and not yet out to my family. My grandmother died at 88 about a month and a half ago. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t put her through my coming out (I’m nonbinary, which means it’s even more complicated to explain). But now that she’s gone, and I’ve done my grieving, I’m aching to stop lying and get it out there. I’ve known for more half a decade, but I feel like this is too soon and my remaining relatives will be angry at me for coming out so close to my grandmother’s death. How long should I wait?

—Bad Timing

Re: Trying to time my reveal

  • Maybe start with the family members you are closest too? Then expand to the other members of your family. While not "waiting" it might have the effect of distancing the reveal from your grandmother's passing if that's a concern.

     I agree not to wait any longer and to find a way that is authentic to yourself.
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