kids in wedding

My sister has two kids and they will be at the wedding but I don't want to invite any other kids. Is that wrong?
I worry my cosins and a few of my friends will be upset that I invite my sisters and not their kids. (we all are very close!)

Q: and how do I tell them. help please.  :):D:s

Re: kids in wedding

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi Knottie#s,

    Since the Connecticut board doesn't get a lot of activity (I just happened to be here for something else; I don't even live in Connecticut or plan to be married there), and this is a more general question, I'd try any future questions that aren't about CT specifically on the other (international) category boards.

    That said, here's the answer you'd have gotten from me on the Etiquette board: You can invite or not invite any kids you want, as long as you don't split up kids from families. What you are doing is actually very common and very reasonable - inviting your nieces/nephews but not the kids of more extended family. We call it inviting in circles, and it does minimize hurt feelings, much more so than if you invited your sister's and one cousin's kids, but not the others' kids, even though that would technically be your right to do. Even though your cousins are close, they're not your sibling, and they should understand that. Although I know that family can be a little crazy around weddings.

    As for how you tell them - you don't, unless they ask specifically. It's actually fairly rude to make a point of saying, "Hey, I know you didn't ask, but YOU'RE/THEY'RE not invited to my party." When it comes time to send out invites, address the envelopes only to "Cousin and Significant Other" by their names. That should be enough indication that it's just them and not their kids that are invited. If it's not and the RSVP comes back for 4 or something, you call and say, "Sorry for the confusion, but we could only extend the invite to you and Tim. Hope you can still make it!" However, as a parent I will tell you that I might have to decline a wedding I want to attend if my kid is not invited, just because of the logistical concerns it poses. You have to be okay with them declining your invite, and it's not necessarily because they're throwing a tantrum.
  • thank you so much
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