A Shut Door Can Be a Wonderful Thing

short+sassy

I work two jobs from home. One is structured so that I have 9-to-5 work hours, and the other I do in my “off” time. My problem is my husband, who cannot seem to wrap his head around the fact that just because I am home does not mean I am “available.” He constantly interrupts my working time to talk to me about things that could wait, including arguments he wants to have right now. He asks that I spend time with him before he leaves for work by moving my laptop into whatever room he is in. He often expects me to take time away from my desk in order to help him get ready for his job, and I am really frustrated. I have said time and again that I am at work and he needs to respect it, but nothing seems to stick, and sometimes I get so peeved with him it distracts me the rest of the work day. I love my husband, but his constant inability to respect my work time and space is getting on my last nerves. Help!

charlotte989875

Yes! H and I work from home on the same days (first time this has happened) and he thinks this means BCBC all the time. It's great, except I have work that also needs to get done. 

Basically, it's a balance but if you need to work you need to use your words to ensure your time is respected. 

MissKittyDanger

I'm wondering if LW's husband feels neglected because of this?
I am guilty of asking M to bring his laptop to the couch while he worked so we're at least close, but that being said I know when his overtime work was extended {two weeks ish} we really needed 'us' time.

I think LW's husband is missing quality time, but isn't really hearing that LW needs to work.

bleve0821

MissKittyDanger said:

I'm wondering if LW's husband feels neglected because of this?
I am guilty of asking M to bring his laptop to the couch while he worked so we're at least close, but that being said I know when his overtime work was extended {two weeks ish} we really needed 'us' time.

I think LW's husband is missing quality time, but isn't really hearing that LW needs to work.

But a 9-5 job is still a 9-5 job, and LW would be completely unavailable during those hours if she wasn't WAH.  And the H needs to respect that a normal work week is an inappropriate time for "them time."

Also, if LW's company ever found out that the quality and quantity of work was impacted by her family's "needs," she could potentially lose her job, or lose her WAH privileges, which would lead to a whole slew of additional problems and hard feelings.

short+sassy

Like a puppy who needs to be potty trained, she needs to train her H.  Hopefully she has her own office in the house.  If so, they need to have clear signals.  Like a "shut door" means no interruptions unless the house is on fire.  A "half open door" means she is busy and she is working, but can be briefly interrupted for something important.  And, "What do you want for dinner?", is not an important question.

I wouldn't start off with an "open door" policy.  But, once he's trained better, an "open door" can mean she can stop and chat for a few minutes.

She needs to stay very firm with.  And have a conversation about the "rules" and why they are there, when things are calm and she is not WAH for either job.

If she doesn't have an office, than working in another room or some other kind of symbol that she is "working and conversations are off limits".

DrillSergeantCat

atomicblonde said:

But a 9-5 job is still a 9-5 job, and LW would be completely unavailable during those hours if she wasn't WAH.  And the H needs to respect that a normal work week is an inappropriate time for "them time."

Also, if LW's company ever found out that the quality and quantity of work was impacted by her family's "needs," she could potentially lose her job, or lose her WAH privileges, which would lead to a whole slew of additional problems and hard feelings.

I interviewed (and was rejected) for a WFH job. They mentioned in the interview that they had to let someone go prior because she was trying to work and keep her baby home. They expect work to be done during work hours. 

I don't know how to get it through to LW's H. Maybe tell him that her company noticed her production is decreased? 

short+sassy

DrillSergeantCat said:

atomicblonde said:

But a 9-5 job is still a 9-5 job, and LW would be completely unavailable during those hours if she wasn't WAH.  And the H needs to respect that a normal work week is an inappropriate time for "them time."

Also, if LW's company ever found out that the quality and quantity of work was impacted by her family's "needs," she could potentially lose her job, or lose her WAH privileges, which would lead to a whole slew of additional problems and hard feelings.

I interviewed (and was rejected) for a WFH job. They mentioned in the interview that they had to let someone go prior because she was trying to work and keep her baby home. They expect work to be done during work hours. 

I don't know how to get it through to LW's H. Maybe tell him that her company noticed her production is decreased? 

My cousin WAH for a bank and she was told that, any children under the age of 12, need to be in daycare or have another adult in the house to care for them.

The irony is, even though she WAH, she is monitored WAY more than I am, in my office environment.  They know what she is doing at all times and can look at her home computer for work, whenever they want.  She isn't allowed to do ANYTHING non-work related on it.

banana468

I WFH.   Often my lunch is folding laundry or cleaning a toilet or kitchen tasks and then I eat at my desk.

There was one time that I can recall that I asked DH to do something and he responded with "but you're home all day!"

He only did it once. 

The OP here needs to be quite clear that she's working and can't be interrupted.  Perhaps to get the point across on her husband's next work day she can call his desk phone repeatedly.