Tipping Advice Wanted

k&n62517

I want to be prepared to tip my vendors but I have seen many different suggestions and guidelines for tipping. I want to see what you all think. 

What is the best way to tip? Percentage of total cost? What percent for what services? Is it better to tip within a range instead of a percentage? I have seen both ways suggested for different services. 

And when is the appropriate time to give the tip? Will they all be expecting tips on that day or should I wait to tip later when I have evaluated the service (I promise I plan to tip even for vendors I wasn't 100% satisfied or overjoyed about, but it's a matter of giving the bare minimum versus giving an extra bump)?

Here are the vendors I have:
-Caterer (they built gratuity into the total cost -- do I still need to give an additional tip? I feel like that's a silly question, but I'd rather ask and look dumb than not tip when I should)
-Bartender
-Photographer
-Hairstylist
-Makeup artist
-Officiant 

Thank you for your help! Our wedding is about 50 days away and I'm so glad I've had access to these boards to help along the way. 

STARMOON44

You tip on the day, not later. 

missJeanLouise

We tipped everyone on the day of except our photographer. We waited until after we received our photos for that. 

You can always send more later if you think a vendor went above and beyond.

lyndausvi

STARMOON44 said:

You tip on the day, not later. 

With the exception of the photographer.  You can't know how they did until after you got the shots back.

southernbelle0915

k&n62517 said:

Here are the vendors I have:
-Caterer (they built gratuity into the total cost -- do I still need to give an additional tip? I feel like that's a silly question, but I'd rather ask and look dumb than not tip when I should) if it's built in, it's not expected - but if they do a super stellar job, consider $25-50/staff member depending on how fancy your event is and how awesome they are (after event)
-Bartender - 10-20% (after event)
-Photographer - not necessary if they own their own business, but a nice gesture - 15ish% (after you get your photos and depending on quality)
-Hairstylist - 15-20% (time of service)
-Makeup artist - 15-20% (time of service)
-Officiant - not expected if you're paying for the service and/or they own their business, but if you're super satisfied consider $50-100 (after everyone signs the marriage license; if at a church a donation to the office)

Answers in bold.

Hair and make-up are easy, you can just add the tip to your bill when you pay.

For everything else, you'll need cash or a checkbook because your tip will go up or down depending on the service (as is the point of tipping - the better the service, the better the tip). 

You may also want to consider tipping your DJ if you have a packed dance floor all night. For that, I'd do 10-15% and give it as they're packing up. Or if you're having a live band and they're awesome, tip each band member.

Based on the contract rates for catering, bartender, officiant, and DJ, you should have a ball park tip in mind. I would stick a "cheat sheet" in your checkbook so you aren't trying to do math while you write checks. And pre-make out the checks so you aren't asking "who do I make this out to again?" For example:

Contract          Contract Rate     10%         15%        20%
Caterer            $15,000             $1,500    $2,250   $3,000
DJ                    $5,000               $500       $750      $1,000

You get the idea...  


ETA: when I say "after event" I mean as they're packing up - not the next day or something

[Deleted User]

I like this question... I'm going to add to it.
What if you don't know how many bartenders you're going to have?  I mean, I assume I'll have two, but what if I have three?  Basically, I'd like to not spend the end of my wedding writing checks.  I'd like to have envelopes with cash or check already ready to get distributed and in my dad's or my groom's pocket.  Or should I have a couple twenties around in case I need to give someone an extra tip?

ILoveBeachMusic

adk19 said:

I like this question... I'm going to add to it.
What if you don't know how many bartenders you're going to have?  I mean, I assume I'll have two, but what if I have three?  Basically, I'd like to not spend the end of my wedding writing checks.  I'd like to have envelopes with cash or check already ready to get distributed and in my dad's or my groom's pocket.  Or should I have a couple twenties around in case I need to give someone an extra tip?

The number of bartenders should part of the contract - I know DD's was. Originally the caterer was going to have 2 but we wanted 3. We had cash in envelopes and gave them to the coordinator to distribute to the vendors. Actually the bartenders were covered under the caterer's contract. The only vendor we didn't tip that night was the photographer. DD and SIL tipped her after they received their photos (as PPs have suggested).

k&n62517

Thank you for the responses!

Would it be okay to tip some basic amount to my photographer that night and then send more after the pictures? I feel so weird about not tipping that night, I would really hate for them to think I wasn't going to tip. And I don't want to say I'm waiting to get the pictures because somehow that sounds rude to me in my head. 

I'm overthinking, right? 

ILoveBeachMusic

k&n62517 said:

Thank you for the responses!

Would it be okay to tip some basic amount to my photographer that night and then send more after the pictures? I feel so weird about not tipping that night, I would really hate for them to think I wasn't going to tip. And I don't want to say I'm waiting to get the pictures because somehow that sounds rude to me in my head. 

I'm overthinking, right? 

I'm guessing that many photographers don't get tipped until the photos are delivered so it wouldn't be something they would think is unusual.

missJeanLouise

adk19 said:

I like this question... I'm going to add to it.
What if you don't know how many bartenders you're going to have?  I mean, I assume I'll have two, but what if I have three?  Basically, I'd like to not spend the end of my wedding writing checks.  I'd like to have envelopes with cash or check already ready to get distributed and in my dad's or my groom's pocket.  Or should I have a couple twenties around in case I need to give someone an extra tip?

The number of staff should be in your contract or final quote after you give numbers. If it's not, I am sure you could ask your contact and they would let you know. 

[Deleted User]

missJeanLouise said:

adk19 said:

I like this question... I'm going to add to it.
What if you don't know how many bartenders you're going to have?  I mean, I assume I'll have two, but what if I have three?  Basically, I'd like to not spend the end of my wedding writing checks.  I'd like to have envelopes with cash or check already ready to get distributed and in my dad's or my groom's pocket.  Or should I have a couple twenties around in case I need to give someone an extra tip?

The number of staff should be in your contract or final quote after you give numbers. If it's not, I am sure you could ask your contact and they would let you know. 

Good to know.  We haven't gotten that far yet.  We booked the location and have a written confirmation that we've given a $500 deposit and have the venue booked for the afternoon.  The venue has a restaurant onsite which will be catering.  We know we'll pay $25 per hour for bartending services, plus a $5,000 minimum food and beverage which we will likely exceed with our numbers even though their food prices are incredibly reasonable.  We still have over 10 months until the wedding and can call to schedule a tasting whenever we're ready.