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Wedding Woes

kid funny

Last night, Wolverine (6.5yo, finishing kinder) brought home her art portfolio and was showing me her drawings from the year. One of the pictures, she described as "Pete the cat's girlfriend, and her eggs."

This lead to a 10 minute discussion about human and cat anatomy and physiology, eggs/ovaries/uteruses/periods (yes you bleed every month-ish, no you're not dying), how cats and other animals have a "Y" shaped uterus, and how girls have 3 holes and boys have 2 holes. 

That quickly devolved into her yelling at DK, "Hey dad, you only have 2 holes because boys have 2 holes and girls have 3! Mom and me have more holes!"

I'm probably getting a call from school... 

Jess Kluczniks portrait
short+sassykimmiinthemittenDrillSergeantCatsparklepants41NiceKindaSpicemissJeanLouiseMissKittyDangerOurWildKingdomcowgirl8238

Re: kid funny

  • LOL!  

    Also, I love Pete the Cat.  :) 
  • I'm also cracking up she gave the momma cat a boy's name.  But the eggs are my favorite part.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Too funny!!!

    Also - I had no idea about the Y-shaped uterus. *insert "The More You Know" graphic*
    MissKittyDanger
  • @sparklepants41- dogs, rats, mice, pigs, sheep, cows, and at least a few others - I think it's more common in mammals with litters/multiples. i got to see this firsthand in my vet science apprenticeship in 10th grade. Hysterectomy day, one of the rats we opened up was pregnant (early stages, so it wasn't noticeable until we started surgery.) it was neat getting to see the fetuses in both sides of the uterus. We sewed her back up, and she had the babies a couple of weeks later. They were super cute. 

    (one other funny moment from that class was that somehow one group, made of 2 guys, ended up with a male rate instead of a female rat. they didn't notice until they had knocked it out and opened it up and couldn't find a uterus. we made fun of them for weeks after that.)

    no rats were harmed during the duration of the class. 
    sparklepants41short+sassymissJeanLouiseNiceKindaSpice
  • I love this so much. A friend on FB just posted about how her 5yo boy said something about the dog peeing out of his belly button and how she was going to have to have the anatomy talk with him. That's when I realized I have no idea when/ how old children are when they start to learn that sort of thing.

    please let us know if the school calls. :)
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2017




    I love this so much. A friend on FB just posted about how her 5yo boy said something about the dog peeing out of his belly button and how she was going to have to have the anatomy talk with him. That's when I realized I have no idea when/ how old children are when they start to learn that sort of thing.

    please let us know if the school calls. :)




    Moms: is there an age appropriate body book? I used to have a pop-up reproductive system book but it's out of print. My son knows his genitalia, but is very confused by the fact that mommy pees out of her "bum". 

    I have tried to explain the whole penis/ vagina thing, but I think he needs a more visual guide.
  • Did she tell you why should thought cats laid eggs? Was it just because she didn't know the alternative or was there a cute kid explanation?

    When I was a kid, I was convinced ants made honey. I saw them crawling all over the peonies and figured they had no reason to be there other than honey. I knew bees made honey, I just thought ants did too.
    short+sassy*Barbie*
  • She knows body parts (penis, vagina, uterus, breasts, nipples, digestive system, respiratory and circulatory systems, etc. ) and has for years - starting around 2 or so. (One of the teachers at school was pregnant, and I corrected her the first time that she said "Miss... has a baby in her belly" - "no, she has a baby in her uterus." She actually corrected pregnant OSIL on this, which was *HILARIOUS*. She also got the penis/vagina/butt talk during potty training.) She also understands how babies are born (from a vagina or c-section, or in some cases from eggs hatching).

    We did get pulled aside at after school pickup earlier this year because she corrected one of her (female) friends who was saying that her penis hurt. "You don't have a penis. you're a girl. You have a vagina. only boys have penises." The (male) instructor was like bright red when he relayed this to DK - "she's not in trouble, and I mean technically, she's right, but maybe ask her not to use body part names at school? we don't want the other parents to complain." I told DK that frankly, i'd be more concerned that my 6yo didn't know the difference between a penis and a vagina. (then again, maybe she's intersex or trans and has a penis or both - who knows? the child presents as female.)

    I don't think she thought that the cat laid eggs - cause i've showed her some different animal birth videos - maybe it was more along the lines of an "Easter bunny" deal? She's also seen the fish give birth and lay eggs, so there may have been some confusion - but definitely isn't now. 

    No calls from the school yet. 

    Re: books: i haven't used any but i have pulled up diagrams online. i had to do that for the 2 holes vs 3 holes discussion because she thought that pee came out of vaginas. i don't know if kids' books get that detailed. I have my bio books as backups, but the internet is faster and easier. 

    I never had a lot of kid experience before I had one (even babysitting, they were always school-aged), so I've always talked to her more like an adult than a kid, and I tend to not sugar coat stuff. I'd rather that she knew proper names for body parts and have a basic understanding how how they work. 
    short+sassymissJeanLouise
  • @*Barbie* funny irony about this post! My friend {single mother} was putting a tampon in and her son {turned 2 in March} asked why she was putting a stick up her bum!
    We were talking and she was saying that she may have to start a brief 'body parts' talk with him. At least the basics between girls and boys - but being a mom of a boy, he has a rough idea on the fact there are differences.
    {side note - she potty training and she tells him "good job!" when he poops in the toilet, so he has now taken to telling her 'good job!' when she uses the bathroom lmao}
    DrillSergeantCat*Barbie*short+sassy
  • @MissKittyDanger - my TX BFF divorced her son's dad when he was ~2, and has primary custody. Around this time, he would call his penis his "peanut" - so one time when he was in the shower with her, he asked her why she didn't have a peanut, so she told him that she had a walnut. Eventually she explained walnut = vagina, but he got confused and thought she said China. So he was going around school telling other kids that all babies come from China. (She didn't bother to correct him, because this was hilarious.) The next time they went to a Chinese restaurant, he was super confused, so she tried to explain it a little more. He's good now. 

    He also saw his grandfather in the shower and asked his mom why his grandad's peanut has a moustache. 
    MissKittyDangerkimmiinthemittensparklepants41DrillSergeantCat

  • *Barbie* said:

    @MissKittyDanger - my TX BFF divorced her son's dad when he was ~2, and has primary custody. Around this time, he would call his penis his "peanut" - so one time when he was in the shower with her, he asked her why she didn't have a peanut, so she told him that she had a walnut. Eventually she explained walnut = vagina, but he got confused and thought she said China. So he was going around school telling other kids that all babies come from China. (She didn't bother to correct him, because this was hilarious.) The next time they went to a Chinese restaurant, he was super confused, so she tried to explain it a little more. He's good now. 

    He also saw his grandfather in the shower and asked his mom why his grandad's peanut has a moustache. 


    My parents brought us up to use proper names. I didn't even know most of the slang terms until I was in high school.

  • *Barbie* said:

    @MissKittyDanger - my TX BFF divorced her son's dad when he was ~2, and has primary custody. Around this time, he would call his penis his "peanut" - so one time when he was in the shower with her, he asked her why she didn't have a peanut, so she told him that she had a walnut. Eventually she explained walnut = vagina, but he got confused and thought she said China. So he was going around school telling other kids that all babies come from China. (She didn't bother to correct him, because this was hilarious.) The next time they went to a Chinese restaurant, he was super confused, so she tried to explain it a little more. He's good now. 

    He also saw his grandfather in the shower and asked his mom why his grandad's peanut has a moustache. 


    I snorted. I won't lie lmao!
    *Barbie*DrillSergeantCatcowgirl8238




  • *Barbie* said:


    @MissKittyDanger - my TX BFF divorced her son's dad when he was ~2, and has primary custody. Around this time, he would call his penis his "peanut" - so one time when he was in the shower with her, he asked her why she didn't have a peanut, so she told him that she had a walnut. Eventually she explained walnut = vagina, but he got confused and thought she said China. So he was going around school telling other kids that all babies come from China. (She didn't bother to correct him, because this was hilarious.) The next time they went to a Chinese restaurant, he was super confused, so she tried to explain it a little more. He's good now. 

    He also saw his grandfather in the shower and asked his mom why his grandad's peanut has a moustache. 




    My parents brought us up to use proper names. I didn't even know most of the slang terms until I was in high school.


    Honestly I have no idea when I learned parts. I know I was taught "good touch/bad touch" in kindergarten - and apparently I told my nana {who was bathing me} that I had to give her permission to touch me and I didn't want her to wash me. I could do it myself. {my nana was impressed I was willing to tell a family member not to touch fyi}



  • He also saw his grandfather in the shower and asked his mom why his grandad's peanut has a moustache. 




    I snorted. I won't lie lmao!


    I lost it when she told me. I love that story. I told her we need to share that one at the wedding when our kids get married. 
    MissKittyDanger
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    My exSIL taught my oldest that it was his pickle. I'm working very hard to teach Mouse and PG the proper names. When we bathe them, we say, "Now we're washing those stinky feet, and the leg rolls, now the penis and the testicles (or vulva)." It's silly the way we do it, but I feel it's really important for them to know.
    short+sassycowgirl8238
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