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Wedding Woes

Wednesday- last day of school!!!

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Re: Wednesday- last day of school!!!

  • edited May 2017
    I think I should start thinking about M's and my anniversary - 2nd is August 1st. Only down side is his bday is like 2 weeks beforehand so SOMETHING can't be pricey.

    He said he wanted something that goes "pew pew" - so I may get him this as a gift for either.



    or




    edit:
    Found this. Too cute.

    short+sassysparklepants41
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
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    I'm at work today until 4:30, and then I have to drive straight to school. Luckily it's only five minutes away, but I'll still be an hour and a half late. I need all of the coffee today. I started at 7:30 and I won't be home from school and work until 9:30. It's a long day. 


    image
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
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    @kimmiinthemitten I think that's part of it. He's still working 10-12 hours a day which leaves me home alone with a 15 month old and 4 month old for 2+ hours a day, I haven't slept more than 2 full nights since July 2 years ago, last weekend and this coming weekend he's going golfing with his buddies while (since I understand how stressful the two of them are) have left the babies alone with him for 1 hour at the longest, but I don't want to force him to be there if he wants to be somewhere else so I tell him to go and then slightly resent him because I have no time for myself. 
  • kvrunskvruns member
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    I like the first one @MissKittyDanger it is Star Wars eque pattern? 
    MissKittyDanger
  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer


    @kimmiinthemitten I think that's part of it. He's still working 10-12 hours a day which leaves me home alone with a 15 month old and 4 month old for 2+ hours a day, I haven't slept more than 2 full nights since July 2 years ago, last weekend and this coming weekend he's going golfing with his buddies while (since I understand how stressful the two of them are) have left the babies alone with him for 1 hour at the longest, but I don't want to force him to be there if he wants to be somewhere else so I tell him to go and then slightly resent him because I have no time for myself. 


    I feel ya, I have a hard time with 1, I can't imagine 2. My H (as I think I've shared on here) has had a terrible time with bonding with B or wanting to have anything to do with him until recently. But he still can't handle any crying and his comments/actions from earlier are enough that he can't be left alone with him, which I think is fine with him because it means he has 0 baby responsibility and can do whatever he wants regardless of what the baby needs. He might hold him or play with him for a little while (10-15 min) but that is about it and it has only really started the last month or so that he wanted to do anything like that.  I could try to force him to stay home with us or sit around instead of doing XYZ but that just makes him further resent both of us and it doesn't help build any bond or love between him and B (or he and I for that matter). Counseling didn't help, talking doesn't help, at the end of the day he wants to be able to do whatever he wants whenever and not worry how it affects the other people who live in the house and I can't seem to get him to understand how his actions affect us. Even if I were to leave for a while it would give him what he wants - an empty house to do as he pleases without a wife and baby around - so I doubt absence would make the heart grow fonder.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • I think I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow.  For real...my period has me so insanely grumpy and mood swing-y that I'm ineffective.  I've already cried at my desk today.  Stress + period is just not a good place for me.  I have a meeting to night to run and I don't fucking want to.  I don't even want to write the agenda.  This 3 day weekend can't come fast enough.  I lost a bunch of work I did and it's made me mad enough that redoing it is going to be worse.  I'm gritting my teeth through it.

    So yeah, I'm just over it right now.  IDK what "it" is, but I'm over it.  
  • ((Hugs)) for you too @kvruns
    kvruns

  • levioosa said:

    I'm at work today until 4:30, and then I have to drive straight to school. Luckily it's only five minutes away, but I'll still be an hour and a half late. I need all of the coffee today. I started at 7:30 and I won't be home from school and work until 9:30. It's a long day. 



    Isn't today your first day at the new job?  I hope things are going great!  But that is a tough, very long day. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper


    @kimmiinthemitten I think that's part of it. He's still working 10-12 hours a day which leaves me home alone with a 15 month old and 4 month old for 2+ hours a day, I haven't slept more than 2 full nights since July 2 years ago, last weekend and this coming weekend he's going golfing with his buddies while (since I understand how stressful the two of them are) have left the babies alone with him for 1 hour at the longest, but I don't want to force him to be there if he wants to be somewhere else so I tell him to go and then slightly resent him because I have no time for myself. 


    Dude, you need to leave them for more than a new hour. Two little babies are hard, and he may not want to do it, but he HAS to do it.  For your sake, for your kid's sake, for his sake. Life has changed and he needs to buck up. 
    DrillSergeantCatkimmiinthemittenredwoodoriginal*Barbie*

  • kvruns said:

    I like the first one @MissKittyDanger it is Star Wars eque pattern? 


    Yup :) M is pretty much a nerd.
    TrixieJess




  • Ramadan starts next week and the barn only does evening lessons during that time. 9pm- 1am. Idk who the crazies are that ride at 1am but I hope I am not one of them. I wouldn't really mind except I imagine getting a taxi home will be brutal, lol. They already look at me like I am going to murder them when I ask them to drive to (what seems like) the middle of nowhere.




    @missJeanLouise that sounds like a cool experience. One of our business presidents talked about working in Saudi during Ramadan, and negotiating a massive deal. It was interesting hearing his experience during that trip. I have some co-workers that fast, so we always try to be conscious of them during Ramadan. 

    @kvruns  and @DrillSergeantCat - That's some total bullshit. I feel for both of you. Fathers need to take care of their children and give mom some time for herself. Parenting should be a partnership. If nothing else, you need a few hours to yourself once in a while - time to go to a movie, hang out with friends, get a coffee or a drink, use the bathroom alone or take an uninterrupted nap or shower. If you are concerned from a safety standpoint of leaving a child alone with his/her/their father for a few hours, for me, that would be a red flag and in DTMFA territory. Even if he can't handle it alone, he should be calling in reinforcements (a sibling, parent or a friend) to make sure that you get a break. If he gets to golf or go hunting, or go to poker night, or watch the game with his friends, then why don't you get the same? The baby cried? Oh no! It's a BABY! That's what they do. Give it a clean diaper, feed it, play with it, put it down for a nap, strap it in the carseat and drive for a while. If it's sick, take care of it. You're not going to "bond" with the baby unless you spend time with it. 

    I know Wolverine is a little older now (and DK is an amazing dad) but we take advantage of giving the other parent a break to make sure that she has a "special" mom/kid or dad/kid time. We'll take her to a new restaurant, or go find a new playground, take her shopping, take her to chuck e cheese or monkey joe's  - but we've been doing this since she was 2/3. We'll also do things like "i know you've been wanting to see [movie] - why don't i take care of dinner and bedtime tonight and you go see the show. It's at SMG at {time}"

    @atomicblonde - the trip sounds like a fantastic opportunity. i'd love to do something like that, but most of my stuff would be a longer assignment - at least 2-3 years. I'd be up for it, but DK would take some convincing. Good luck!


    I need to go get some lunch. i have a meeting at 1:30 and then I'm done with meetings for the day. we're doing a massive audit next week, so i need to go through my files and safety database to make sure everything is up to date. i know my training stuff is current, so one less thing to worry about. 

    neck update - it's still a little stiff and sore (deep tissue) but a little more than a week out, i feel better than i did pre procedure. it's "too soon" for real results, but i'm feeling significantly better than i did 2 weeks ago.
    redwoodoriginalkimmiinthemittenshort+sassyGBCK
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
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    @short+sassy yes, it is! I found out yesterday I work today, which was inconvenient, but I'm making it work. I go to staffing on Friday to get the rest of my schedule and trainer. Hopefully I'll have more of an idea of what my life looks like then. 


    image
    short+sassy
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Ordered a a new coffee table today - it will be in 8-12 weeks. It is a special order because of the size (smaller than standard). DD and SIL didn't win the bidding war for the house they wanted. That is a bummer since they really wanted it. I'm not sure the realtor gave them the best advice, but I try not to meddle.

    I have a meeting tonight them coming home to start getting the house ready for the weekend. We have a full house for the holiday - Race weekend here in Indy.

    @kvruns and @DrillSergeantCat I'm sorry to hear about your issues at home. Yes your husbands should be letting you have time for yourself. They are one of the parents of those kids and should act like it. I hope y'all can work things out.
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
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    @*barbie* it's definitely not concern for their safety, more a concern for H's sanity. 
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper


    @*barbie* it's definitely not concern for their safety, more a concern for H's sanity. 


    At the expense of your sanity though. 
    kimmiinthemittenlnixon8
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    6fsn said:





    @*barbie* it's definitely not concern for their safety, more a concern for H's sanity. 




    At the expense of your sanity though. 


    I know. I have to talk to him about me taking some time for myself. The last time I had time to myself without the kids, it was to do house stuff and i took off a half day of work to do it. 


  • @kimmiinthemitten I think that's part of it. He's still working 10-12 hours a day which leaves me home alone with a 15 month old and 4 month old for 2+ hours a day, I haven't slept more than 2 full nights since July 2 years ago, last weekend and this coming weekend he's going golfing with his buddies while (since I understand how stressful the two of them are) have left the babies alone with him for 1 hour at the longest, but I don't want to force him to be there if he wants to be somewhere else so I tell him to go and then slightly resent him because I have no time for myself. 






    @6fsn PTO meetings in the summer? That's crazy!

    @missJeanLouise summer camp for adults would be so fun! I would also do yoga camp, swimming, and maybe cooking/baking camp?

    This morning H & I are working from home and then drive into Boston for my 27-week appointments and tests at the hospital this afternoon. I have to do the blood glucose test as well today - a precaution because I am considered "elderly" being pregnant at 37 lol. But that means I can only have water until I drink the fake orange crap at noon. Luckily there are a bunch of restaurant options in the neighborhood where the hospital is, so I can have H run out and grab me some "brunch" at 2pm.




    Even with the eldest I had to take the Glucose test - it's standard operating procedure unfortunately.  Good luck with it all!  The "Fizzy Orange Triaminic" stuff is annoying but telling the doctors to stuff it after I took it both times was well worth it (I'm plus-size, it's insane how everyone medical tries to use the hammer method in excessively testing for diabetes)...

    And @DrillSergeantCat - because I'm getting to the other side slowly but surely, You MUST schedule yourself a "Mom-cation" STAT!  Not for vanity reasons, for the reason of I've been in your shoes and posted pretty much the same thing years ago, it only gets worse, so nip it now!  Pick a touristy town near you (far enough to get a hotel, not so far it's going to break the bank), and you ARE going away for a weekend ALONE because you HAVE to take care of you and give yourself the chance to remind yourself who you are.  He also NEEDS to have that "Figure it the F OUT" time to be an even better Dad!  You'll thank yourself dividends as the kids get to school age because they need to know "This is the way Mom runs the show", "This is the way Dad runs the show" and "This is the way Mom runs the show with Dad".  It also helps so you can avoid becoming a "Martyr Mommy" with the Welcome Shirt because that sucker is hard to take off the longer its left on.  

    As for us, we've got another week of school left.  There's a lot to get done and figured out for the summer.  All I can think is this summer is going to fly by!  
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    kimmiinthemittenshort+sassylevioosa

  • 6fsn said:





    @*barbie* it's definitely not concern for their safety, more a concern for H's sanity. 




    At the expense of your sanity though. 


    ^^^exactly. he needs to suck it up, grow a pair, however you want to put it, and take care of his kids. his sanity doesn't trump your sanity. he golfs on saturday? great. you're going to meet a friend for lunch on sunday and then get a pedicure. he can make up something for dinner before you get home. 

    @kvruns post  (below) is what triggered my response on safety. I may be reading more into this than intended, but it struck a chord that she felt that her son couldn't be left alone with his dad. Short of concerns about abuse or neglect, a grown ass man should be capable of watching (any child, but especially) his child (in his own home) for a few hours without additional adult supervision. If there's a serious concern about abuse or neglect, that's what would put me into the red flag/DTMFA category. I know OSIL had some serious concerns about neglect with her ExH, which is a major part of the reason why he's now her ExH. I'm questioning the custody agreement because of that (I'm thinking she should have pushed harder to limit his contact - less time or supervised visits) - but she may not have had sufficient "proof" or "documentation" to back up her concerns. I get it - it shouldn't have to take a serious incident/injury to make sure the kids are protected, but on the outside he appears to have his shit together, so in this case it's he said/she said.


    kvruns said:



    I feel ya, I have a hard time with 1, I can't imagine 2. My H (as I think I've shared on here) has had a terrible time with bonding with B or wanting to have anything to do with him until recently. But he still can't handle any crying and his comments/actions from earlier are enough that he can't be left alone with him, 
    DrillSergeantCat

  • *Barbie* said:




    I know Wolverine is a little older now (and DK is an amazing dad) but we take advantage of giving the other parent a break to make sure that she has a "special" mom/kid or dad/kid time. We'll take her to a new restaurant, or go find a new playground, take her shopping, take her to chuck e cheese or monkey joe's  - but we've been doing this since she was 2/3. We'll also do things like "i know you've been wanting to see [movie] - why don't i take care of dinner and bedtime tonight and you go see the show. It's at SMG at {time}"



    You brought back happy memories!  As kids, our mom worked part-time and our dad worked full-time.  So, we naturally had a lot of time with just mom.  But it was always a fun, special treat when my sister and I got to have an outing with just dad.

    My other crazy memory was when my grandma came over, without grandpa, to spend the night.  Just the two of us!  Because my parents were going to the hospital to "get my new baby sister".  I was only 3.5, but being excited to have a slumber party with Grandma is one of my earliest memories.  I also remember, I'm guessing the next day, going to the hospital with daddy and looking through the big glass at all the babies and he pointed out which one was my sister.

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    *Barbie*DrillSergeantCat
  • GBCKGBCK member
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    y'all know that those awesome summer camps = my life this summer, right?  except I"m doing the background stuff getting them where they go, and I only put Buffy in 1, because, sensory stuff makes that hard
    But it's kinda awesome to do :)


    short+sassy
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
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    @*barbie* it's not that he won't watch them, it's that I know how hard it is and don't want to put him through it and since I'm breastfeeding it's hard to leave PG (Pretty Girl is what I always call her). 
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