What do you think about my RSVP?

cosmicjazzie

Hello, I am curious to know what others think about my RSVP rough-draft. Does the wording seem right? I know it isn't traditional, but I wanted guests to know what style of food it is and that it is buffet-style because I would appreciate knowing ahead of time if I was a guest. We will have a cash bar because we don't drink alcohol and we honestly didn't want any at our wedding at all, but we think that people may appreciate having the option if they absolutely must. Thanks so much for your opinions!!

Jen4948

Please eliminate the words "joyfully" and "sadly." It's not appropriate to decide for anyone else what their emotional state is or should be when responding to your invitation.

And lose the cash bar. You are not required to provide alcohol to your guests, but you are required to pay for everything you offer your guests. Your reception is your gesture of thanks to your guests for attending your wedding ceremony, and expecting them to pay for it themselves is one of the rudest and most ungracious acts you could commit.

Also, invitations and replies do not properly refer to the hospitality offered. Guests are expected to graciously accept whatever the hosts provide, in the form offered, as long as the hosts provide sufficient food and non-alcoholic beverages for the time of day the reception is taking place.

[Deleted User]

cosmicjazzie said:

Hello, I am curious to know what others think about my RSVP rough-draft. Does the wording seem right? I know it isn't traditional, but I wanted guests to know what style of food it is and that it is buffet-style because I would appreciate knowing ahead of time if I was a guest. We will have a cash bar because we don't drink alcohol and we honestly didn't want any at our wedding at all, but we think that people may appreciate having the option if they absolutely must. Thanks so much for your opinions!!

I agree with the PP.  What if I secretly don't like you and am "Joyfully Declining" or "Sadly Accepting".  Don't tell me how to feel.

Also, please don't have a cash bar.  You don't have to offer alcohol, but you have to pay for everything you offer.  Would you invite people to your house for dinner, serve them lemonade, then charge them $5 if they asked for a glass of wine?  If they ask for wine, THEY'RE the ones being rude.

lovesclimbing

If you don't drink alcohol, I don't think anyone would be surprised to come to your wedding and find no alcohol. Definitely cut the cash bar. Other than that, the previous posters have good advice on the wording.

I think the leaf design is really pretty. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree with PPs. Don't have "joyfully" or "sadly". Also no cash bar. Either serve alcohol or don't, but don't have your guests pay for their drinks.

MobKaz

adk19 said:

cosmicjazzie said:

Hello, I am curious to know what others think about my RSVP rough-draft. Does the wording seem right? I know it isn't traditional, but I wanted guests to know what style of food it is and that it is buffet-style because I would appreciate knowing ahead of time if I was a guest. We will have a cash bar because we don't drink alcohol and we honestly didn't want any at our wedding at all, but we think that people may appreciate having the option if they absolutely must. Thanks so much for your opinions!!

I agree with the PP.  What if I secretly don't like you and am "Joyfully Declining" or "Sadly Accepting".  Don't tell me how to feel.

Also, please don't have a cash bar.  You don't have to offer alcohol, but you have to pay for everything you offer.  Would you invite people to your house for dinner, serve them lemonade, then charge them $5 if they asked for a glass of wine?  If they ask for wine, THEY'RE the ones being rude.

Additionally, the lines where guests indicate the names of those attending has the potential to allow added names not on invitation. 

Please do not indicate a cash bar, nor offer one.

sparklepants41

I agree with everything PPs have said - drop the "joyfully" and "sadly" and lose the cash bar. 

I love the floral design at the top.

What's a New Mexican buffet?

JediElizabeth

MobKaz said:

adk19 said:

cosmicjazzie said:

Hello, I am curious to know what others think about my RSVP rough-draft. Does the wording seem right? I know it isn't traditional, but I wanted guests to know what style of food it is and that it is buffet-style because I would appreciate knowing ahead of time if I was a guest. We will have a cash bar because we don't drink alcohol and we honestly didn't want any at our wedding at all, but we think that people may appreciate having the option if they absolutely must. Thanks so much for your opinions!!

I agree with the PP.  What if I secretly don't like you and am "Joyfully Declining" or "Sadly Accepting".  Don't tell me how to feel.

Also, please don't have a cash bar.  You don't have to offer alcohol, but you have to pay for everything you offer.  Would you invite people to your house for dinner, serve them lemonade, then charge them $5 if they asked for a glass of wine?  If they ask for wine, THEY'RE the ones being rude.

Additionally, the lines where guests indicate the names of those attending has the potential to allow added names not on invitation. 

Please do not indicate a cash bar, nor offer one.

Actually, I'd keep the names. I had guests write the number of guests attending. If anyone had added an extra, I would have called them up and clarified the invitation. There was some confusion when one of my cousins wrote 1 guest attending, meaning her boyfriend (who I invited by name). This was the first wedding she'd been to and she thought she wasn't counted as a guest because she's family. 

Having the names written out would have been helpful to me.

CMGragain

Your R.S.V.P. if for your guests to respond to your invitation.  It is not for describing the food and drink you are providing.  I must say that I do find the information about the cash bar helpful, though.  It is so rude, it would make my decision to decline your invitation easy.  Cash bars are inexcusably rude!

levioosa

Agree with PPs.  Take out the "joyfully" and "sadly."  And remove the cash bar and descriptors of the food. If absolutely necessary you can list the buffet on your website (what is New Mexican, by the way?).  You don't have a responsibility to provide alcohol, but you do have a responsibility to pay for everything at the reception.  It is not rude of you to have a dry wedding, but it is rude of you to expect guests to pay for their own hosting.  If they get upset at a dry wedding, that makes THEM the rude ones, but you will still be within etiquette.  I prefer alcohol at weddings, but I am also an adult, and when I go to a dry wedding I accept it and have a great time regardless. It is also perfectly acceptable to host wine and beer only (not full bar).  But full bar, limited bar, or dry wedding, you need to be responsible for the cost. 

The flower decoration at the top is very pretty. 

Australian_girl_in_Paris

We put 
Will be present
and
Regretfully unable to attend.

Kinda standard - but I guess I wonder if what you wrote it ok? I'd be interested to know why people don't like the 'sadly' and 'joyfully'- the sadly isn't that far from regretfully.

I also think it's important to have a place for names- we didn't have one and I've now received back some rsvp's and I have no idea who they're from! grr

I'd also remind you to put you website info somewhere - I've just had my friend ask if we're not using it anymore because we forgot to put in on our paper invites!! so annoying. 

Learn from my mistakes

PS- bo to the cash bar. They suck.

CMGragain

Australian_girl_in_Paris said:

We put 
Will be present
and
Regretfully unable to attend.

Kinda standard - but I guess I wonder if what you wrote it ok? I'd be interested to know why people don't like the 'sadly' and 'joyfully'- the sadly isn't that far from regretfully.

I also think it's important to have a place for names- we didn't have one and I've now received back some rsvp's and I have no idea who they're from! grr

I'd also remind you to put you website info somewhere - I've just had my friend ask if we're not using it anymore because we forgot to put in on our paper invites!! so annoying. 

Learn from my mistakes

PS- bo to the cash bar. They suck.

This is not at all standard, at least in the USA.  Standard is this:

Accepts
Declines (or, Unable to attend)

The idea is that you do not assume the invitees feelings and put word in their mouth.  No "regretfully".  Personally, I am old school, and I write my own responses to invitations.

STARMOON44

I wouldn't be sad to decline an invite to a reception with a cash bar. 

[Deleted User]

STARMOON44 said:

I wouldn't be sad to decline an invite to a reception with a cash bar. 

Exactly.  This is why "regretfully" or "sadly" is a bad idea.

Australian_girl_in_Paris

The more you know. 

I guess I've just always seen that so that's what we did.
I think also that I'm not so shocked or affected by wording like that.