Gift Registry 2nd Wedding

[Deleted User]

We have already set up a gift registry but I'm wondering about other second wedding couples. Fiancee's has not been married before. My first wedding was when I was in my twenties. We were married 13 years. When we split, we divided up some of the appliances and dishes (we each have four place settings of a Martha Stewart set we got along the way). We gave his mom the china and crystal since she wanted it and his aunts bought most of it for us anyway. 

This time around, we registered for a good amount of things but not everything. Some essentials need refreshing. My four cup single girl coffee maker was in need of replacement. His aunt likes to give Le Creuset so we registered for a dutch oven to replace the Martha Stewart one my ex gave me for Christmas several years back. I'd love a really good set of silicon spatulas.

We've included some fun things. Camping and picnic gear.  Bicycles. Barware. 

I have had more than a few people ask where we are registered so I feel like it's a useful thing for our friends who want to send us some joy. And, it's really fun to make a "shopping" list. 

Did you register? What's on your list this time around?

Jells2dot0

Second weddings for both of us. We did not register since we eloped, but had we had a more traditional wedding, I would have registered for some upgrades and some new stuff. When we combined homes, we had a lot of doubles, but it was larger things like TVs, bed, couches. For the smaller things, like towels, sheets, kitchen stuff, we found that even with two sets, each set was older and could have used some updating. We both lived pretty lean for awhile after our divorces, so there were some items we needed just because we didn't have them. Example- neither one of us had an iron. I only had one cookie baking sheet. Just small things like that. 

kwiksilver

Second wedding for me, first for him. We didn't register because we are moving a month after the wedding and the last thing I need is more...things. Plus the things I want to upgrade are not available on most registries (ultralight backpacking gear, hunting equipment, etc). Our wedding is just over 3 weeks away and not a single person has asked if we registered, so I think they anticipated just forgoing gifts or giving cash (which of course we didn't ask for in any way, shape, or form). 

[Deleted User]

I love this! Too bad REI or Cabella's don't have registries!

knottie72d6b636c9389057

I don't mean to be rude, but I personally frown on registry's if either party has been married and registered before. It's moot for me because I am having a super-small destination wedding, but I wouldn't have done it even with a larger, traditional wedding. ( I am a first timer, my FI had a huge wedding with a registry 33 years ago). My context is that a number of my first cousins have been married 2 or 3 times. The family always said it was okay to have a big wedding and register because it was the (bride or groom's FIRST wedding). People would always have a few drinks at the table and start talking about what they got the Bride for her LAST wedding. At one point I remember saying that I was on my third Kitchen Aid mixer for my cousin Greg!

levioosa

knottie72d6b636c9389057 said:

I don't mean to be rude, but I personally frown on registry's if either party has been married and registered before. It's moot for me because I am having a super-small destination wedding, but I wouldn't have done it even with a larger, traditional wedding. ( I am a first timer, my FI had a huge wedding with a registry 33 years ago). My context is that a number of my first cousins have been married 2 or 3 times. The family always said it was okay to have a big wedding and register because it was the (bride or groom's FIRST wedding). People would always have a few drinks at the table and start talking about what they got the Bride for her LAST wedding. At one point I remember saying that I was on my third Kitchen Aid mixer for my cousin Greg!

Things get old. They need to be replaced, or upgraded.  And no one is forcing you to buy a third $300 Kitchen Aid mixer for Greg.  

I've lived on my own and then with SO now for some time. I have bought almost everything I could possibly need for the home, but there are some things that I could probably upgrade or replace. Do I not get to have a registry because I've already bought things for my house? 

knottie72d6b636c9389057

Yes, things get old. That's why they get replaced or upgraded. Please don't don't take my opinion personally. It is my opinion, and I am entitled to it as much as to yours. I would NEVER attend a wedding and not send a gift. I think it is much classier to NOT register if you are a "repeater." If guests are so inclined, they can give money and you can upgrade or replace. Again, you asked for opinions. That is what this is.

CMGragain

Registering for gifts is not a demand for them.  It is rude to put the gift registry anywhere on an invitation, except for a shower invitation.  There is nothing wrong with having a gift registry for a second wedding.  It is advertising the registry that is rude.

Jells2dot0

As I mentioned, I did not register because of the type of wedding I chose. When we got engaged, I was asked about my wedding plans and just told people we were having a private wedding at some time in the future that worked for us. People then asked if I was registered anywhere because they wanted to wish us well with a gift. Again, I didn't have one, so I just thanked them for their kind thoughts and generosity and mentioned that there wasn't anything we needed. You can't stop people from asking, you know? 

If I had a traditional wedding, I would have registered and declined any offer of a shower, since I personally feel that would have been inappropriate for my new marriage, but would have directed someone to a registry if I was asked about it. To me, a registry in that type of situation is a convenience for the guests. It's not gift grabby and it takes the guess work away for those that are juat trying to be kind. I feel like anyone can have a registry regardless of the number of marriages- it's how you handle it that is important. 

OwningAHome1981

knottie72d6b636c9389057 said:

I don't mean to be rude, but I personally frown on registry's if either party has been married and registered before. It's moot for me because I am having a super-small destination wedding, but I wouldn't have done it even with a larger, traditional wedding. ( I am a first timer, my FI had a huge wedding with a registry 33 years ago). My context is that a number of my first cousins have been married 2 or 3 times. The family always said it was okay to have a big wedding and register because it was the (bride or groom's FIRST wedding). People would always have a few drinks at the table and start talking about what they got the Bride for her LAST wedding. At one point I remember saying that I was on my third Kitchen Aid mixer for my cousin Greg!

This will be my second marriage. My first was in 2013 and only lasted 1.5 years. We did not register again. I am not having another shower or bach party and he and I already own a house and have everything we need. I didn't feel it was right to expect people to give us thing again. I am sure we will probably get a few things but we are not advertising things we want. If people ask, we are making repairs on our house and if they want to send a gift or $$ they can.

dori_queen

I say go for it, I would put any kitchen utensils on the list, take a good look to see what you really need. Also, sheets are a good option.