Am I the only one who does not think it's rude to set clear expectations prior to asking someone to be in my wedding party? Bridesmaids proposals are cute but leave people feeling obligated to say yes. This is 2017, and even for a modest wedding the financial and time obligations of being a bridesmaid can add up (especially for friends that must travel or have other major life considerations at the time). I've seen many times where brides or bridesmaids end up in uncomfortable situations and someone is let down because a bridesmaid is unable or unwilling to participate in the capacity that the bride or other bridesmaids were expecting of her. I would much rather avoid that all together by being very clear upfront. I do not have expectations outside of the traditional roles, but I have a couple close friends that would have to travel, have infants or have very tight financial situations. I have a few other close friends that jump at the opportunity to help wherever they can and are excited to plan bridal and bachelorette parties. I don't think it would be fair to leave the latter to pick up the slack of the former, and unfortunately discreetly helping with dresses or travel expenses is not in my budget. Am I being heartless to kindly inform a dear friend of the approximate budget and expectations prior to asking them to commit (nothing extravagant but I would like them at least attend the bridal shower and rehearsal)? In fact in the reverse, I would very much appreciate that approach; however, I am a realistic and practical thinker. I'd like to let them know that if it is too much for them at this time in their life, I'd love them all the same to attend my wedding as one of my best friends without the added stress of being in the bridal party. To all who think that just because you say you have no expectations for your bridesmaids means that it is no burden on them, I think you're downright unrealistic or have terrible friends.