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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Dog Ring Bearer/procession ideas (y'all are my sounding board)
So, I just kind of want to hear opinions from people who have no connection with this.
I have 3 BMs, 4 GM, no children in the wedding, but my dog is the ring bearer. One of the GM (Groom's closest brother) is the best man but I did not pick one of my BMs to be the MOH because I didn't want to choose. I love them all equally...and I don't have an actual sister.
My plan is to have the GM up with the groom already and have my BMs walk one at a time.
Then I am torn. My dog is the ring bearer. (Don't judge, he's perfect). My mom offered to walk up the isle with him...which would work well. However, isn't my mother supposed to walk first and then sit? Also, I thought it would be super cute for me to walk up and then call my dog up with the rings and have him run up the isle. I also thought I would have him walk to the groom right before me...but that is iffy because he is my dog and I trained him. He's very much my dog and if he is nervous I will be the only person to whom he will listen. I actually have a feeling I might be holding him during the ceremony because he'll be so excited (he's 11 lbs and he's my baby) which is fine too...it will be short.
Anyway, has anyone else used a dog/seen a dog in a wedding? How did it work? Any ideas?
I have 3 BMs, 4 GM, no children in the wedding, but my dog is the ring bearer. One of the GM (Groom's closest brother) is the best man but I did not pick one of my BMs to be the MOH because I didn't want to choose. I love them all equally...and I don't have an actual sister.
My plan is to have the GM up with the groom already and have my BMs walk one at a time.
Then I am torn. My dog is the ring bearer. (Don't judge, he's perfect). My mom offered to walk up the isle with him...which would work well. However, isn't my mother supposed to walk first and then sit? Also, I thought it would be super cute for me to walk up and then call my dog up with the rings and have him run up the isle. I also thought I would have him walk to the groom right before me...but that is iffy because he is my dog and I trained him. He's very much my dog and if he is nervous I will be the only person to whom he will listen. I actually have a feeling I might be holding him during the ceremony because he'll be so excited (he's 11 lbs and he's my baby) which is fine too...it will be short.
Anyway, has anyone else used a dog/seen a dog in a wedding? How did it work? Any ideas?
Re: Dog Ring Bearer/procession ideas (y'all are my sounding board)
That being said, I don't recommend having a loose dog especially if he is excitable. Having a BM or GM walk him down the aisle is the best bet. The dog doesn't have to actually deliver the rings, people will think it is cute to have him included regardless of if he does anything.
I agree with @missJeanLouise that you shouldn't just let him loose during the wedding. Dogs sometimes get a little freaked out in big groups or with people they don't know. And as much as I love dogs, there are people out there who don't, and he shouldn't be bothering them.
I don't think it's the worst idea in the world, I just think it requires a lot of planning to ensure your dog's (and your guests') comfort.
I say all of this having a trained therapy dog. We have to listen to our animals and respect them if we are expecting something from them where their behavior is concerned.
Being a ring bearer means going up and down the aisle at the right times, staying put until told to move, carrying something without losing or damaging it, not causing any other property damage, remaining quiet during the ceremony, not urinating or defecating in the wrong places, and in the dog's case, avoiding guests who are allergic to or are afraid of dogs. If your dog gets nervous, is this something you really want him to do -- regardless of how "perfect" you claim he is at other times?
Also, as PPs have mentioned, your dog still needs to be fed and his other needs dealt with. You're going to have a lot of other things going on that require your attention, so you're going to need to pay someone (not a guest, as @ernursej points out) to look after him.
Edited to add: Is it possible to "involve" your dog in your wedding in another way, such as having a photo of him?
Also as far as taking care of the dog after we are having the pet boarding service come pick her up directly after the ceremony. Maybe check if one in your area has a similar service? You wouldn't have to worry about feeding him, taking him outside, or inconveniencing guests. Hope it works out!
I'm an animal lover, but when it's put that way, I agree.
I would have your Mom walk him down the aisle if he is comfortable with her and she is agreeable. It's traditional that the MOB walks in at the start of the processional, but that's tradition, there is no rule against or etiquette breach for her to walk in before you with the dog.
Riiiight? Imagine the dog taking a big dump right on the aisleway.
I love animals and I have a dog too but he will be far far away from my wedding.
There are a lot of logistics to think about, too. How will the dog get back to your house? Will the venue allow dogs? How does your dog react to stress/crowds? If your venue is outside, are you going to be okay with a dirty dog jumping on you? If it's inside, are any of your guests allergic? What if your dog does his business during the ceremony? Are you willing to be "upstaged" by him?
We have a tiny, adorable, friendly, hypo-allergic dog and thought about having him in the wedding for about 5 seconds before I was like nope there is no way he would behave and I don't want to hold a dog in my wedding dress, no matter how short the ceremony might be!
QFT.
If you have any question whether your dog would be nervous during this...like to the point where you'd have to hold him instead of focusing on your future husband during your wedding ceremony (I can't even), then none of the logistics matter anyway because it's just a bad idea.
If you absolutely must do this, then you need to answer all the questions above. And keep him on a leash. Your mother's position in the processional is only traditional and can be moved so that your dog can be leashed.
QFT. If this is what it would take for you to be able to have the dog there, then I'm sorry, but it just isn't worth it. I love dogs and I'm all for them being part of a person's life and family, but this is too much.
He'll go on a leash once he's up front, he's just going to run down the isle...or be walked...not decided yet. I was mostly joking about holding him. He can sit under my mom's chair...like he's been trained to do...as a service dog...he is trained to sit under a chair in restaurants and stuff. He will go outside to do his business...you know...like he does at home...or anywhere else he's ever been.
Anyway, I'm going to do some practice sessions with him. If I just practice with him, he'll be fine.
I was really thinking about processional order not your opinions about dogs being in weddings.
You did ask for our opinions in the first paragraph of your OP:
If you don't want our opinions, don't post here. If you do want to post here, recognize that you are not the only one entitled to have an "opinion" on whatever you post; nor are you entitled to tell anyone else here how or what to post about.
Practicing in a quiet and controlled environment will not necessarily guarantee the same results in a crowded and unfamiliar environment.
A dog "running up the aisle" is an irresponsible idea, in my opinion.
Your mom may be willing to have a dog sit under her chair, but will the dog obey? I am assuming if this is your service dog, his training is to remain by YOUR side.
Posters have been quite tame and no one was rude. Blunt, sure. We are trying to ensure that you see the other side.
From your original post, we've pointed out some concerns so that you will plan accordingly.
Ultimately. it is your wedding and your dog. You can do what you think it best. We are trying to make you aware of other angles (like you asked).
In addition to what the other posters have pointed out to you, there are some people, like myself, who regard any marriage ceremony as a sacred event between two people. The inclusion of your pet is puzzling to us. I do not know any church that would allow it, and I don't like the idea at a secular ceremony, either.
Be glad that you are getting these responses now from us, instead of from your guests at your wedding.
Your response is to get defensive and reply that he's a service dog and of course he knows how to behave and you aren't concerned about his behavior. See how people are confused?
Look, if he's your service dog, have your mom bring him in before you walk down the aisle, then have her hand him off to you when you get to the front and you can put him in a down-stay for the duration of the ceremony, which I imagine he's used to doing in crowds anytime you go out with him. If you think he'll have trouble walking down the aisle with your mom for whatever reason, have someone discreetly bring him around the side of the pews and have him wait to the side of the wedding party until you reach the front. Then you can either hire a sitter to pick him up after the ceremony or bring his crate to chill in somewhere outside of the reception hall, if you don't think you'll require his services during the reception.
OP, this is uncalled for. No one was rude to you. A lot of good points were brought up, based on the information that you provided in your post.
TK: "here are some opinions/things to think about/other ideas"
OP: "la la la, I'm not listening to you because I really just wanted validation and not feedback."
*rinse, repeat*
I have actually seen a dog in a wedding. It was borderline disastrous. The dog wandered back and forth during the ceremony, causing one of the small children in the wedding (who is scared of dogs) to panic and have to be held by a groomsman. It eventually laid down on the bride's train.