How to differentiate Groom from Groomsmen

penguinpop

FI wants to wear a tie and wants the other groomsmen to have ties, and quite honestly the groomsmen color looks good on him. The groomsmen are wearing a gray tux, white shirt, gray vest with a dark blue tie and blue pocket square.  

The helpful people at Men's Warehouse say he needs to differentiate himself and suggest he wear a white tie (rest of the outfit the same). I think the blue tie looks better on him but Men's Warehouse says he probably shouldn't dress the same as the groomsmen. 
FI is really pale and I think so much white will wash him out. Is it appropriate to do bow ties on the groomsmen and keep him in a tie?  Is a blue tie for him (with all the groomsmen in blue ties) and just a white pocket square enough?  We also tried a black tie with the outfit that doesn't look good to me.  Any other ideas? I have just a few days to change it with Men's Warehouse.

flantastic

penguinpop said:

FI wants to wear a tie and wants the other groomsmen to have ties, and quite honestly the groomsmen color looks good on him. The groomsmen are wearing a gray tux, white shirt, gray vest with a dark blue tie and blue pocket square.  

The helpful people at Men's Warehouse say he needs to differentiate himself and suggest he wear a white tie (rest of the outfit the same). I think the blue tie looks better on him but Men's Warehouse says he probably shouldn't dress the same as the groomsmen. 
FI is really pale and I think so much white will wash him out. Is it appropriate to do bow ties on the groomsmen and keep him in a tie?  Is a blue tie for him (with all the groomsmen in blue ties) and just a white pocket square enough?  We also tried a black tie with the outfit that doesn't look good to me.  Any other ideas? I have just a few days to change it with Men's Warehouse.

DH had a different bout than the GMs too. I think that and the pocket square would be plenty enough. Guests at your wedding will not be saying, "Who could the groom possibly be? Oh, the one saying the vows must be him." You will not be confused about who is the groom when you look at pictures later. What does your FI want to wear? If he's happy and wearing what he likes, everything will be great.

And if you both want to go with blue, well, "Sorry, Men's Wearhouse, but we're ordering all blue ties. Thank you for your concern."

CMGragain

penguinpop said:

FI wants to wear a tie and wants the other groomsmen to have ties, and quite honestly the groomsmen color looks good on him. The groomsmen are wearing a gray tux, white shirt, gray vest with a dark blue tie and blue pocket square.  

The helpful people at Men's Warehouse say he needs to differentiate himself and suggest he wear a white tie (rest of the outfit the same). I think the blue tie looks better on him but Men's Warehouse says he probably shouldn't dress the same as the groomsmen. 
FI is really pale and I think so much white will wash him out. Is it appropriate to do bow ties on the groomsmen and keep him in a tie?  Is a blue tie for him (with all the groomsmen in blue ties) and just a white pocket square enough?  We also tried a black tie with the outfit that doesn't look good to me.  Any other ideas? I have just a few days to change it with Men's Warehouse.

The people at Men's Wearhouse have given you very bad advice.  Ignore them.

1.  Tuxedos are black.  You are actually renting suits. It doesn't matter what Vera Wang or Men's Wearhouse calls them, they are suits unless they are black with full satin lapels and a satin stripe down the pants.  (Blue ties are fine with suits!)
2.  Traditionally, the groom wears the same clothes as his groomsmen, but usually has a different boutonniere.  This idea of dressing the groom differently is not traditional at all.  You can do it if you really want to, but it isn't what is usually done.
3.  What does your FI want to wear?  He gets to decide.

southernbelle0915

If he likes the blue tie, then let him wear the blue tie.

I would do one of two things:

1) Pick a different color for the GMs. Do you have any accent colors for your wedding? Peach, blush, mint, light blue....?
2) What about a blue striped/dotted/plaid/paisley/patterned tie?
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/bar-iii-mens-cashel-stripe-slim-tie-only-at-macys?ID=4441190&CategoryID=53239&selectedSize=&swatchColor=Blue#fn=COLOR=Blue&sp=1&spc=512&ruleId=77|BS|BA%26slotId%3D19
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/nautica-mens-conesus-check-tie?ID=4596559&CategoryID=53239#fn=sp=1&spc=838&ruleId=77|BS|BA%26slotId%3D31

penguinpop

southernbelle0915 said:

1) Pick a different color for the GMs. Do you have any accent colors for your wedding? Peach, blush, mint, light blue....?

Funny you mention it - the groomsmen ties are the accent color. We chose to do mismatched/complimentary bridal party. So the bridesmaids are in a dark purple color that pairs super nicely with the blue and they will have blue hair accessories.  The groomsmen are the blue with purple boutonnieres.  I have one "bridesman" in a purple tie so I don't want to put FI in purple (plus he likes the blue)

southernbelle0915

Why don't you put the groomsmen in the same tie as the bridesman? Then the GMs are wearing purple ties and the groom is wearing the nice blue tie he wants to wear and he still stands out from his friends.

Who cares if the bridesman and the GMs look the same. Actually I think it'll look better in photos if the wedding party dudes look the same. If you have the bridesman standing out as different, you'll have him and the groom as the only dudes who stand out. Just a thought.

penguinpop

We also have a groomsmaid wearing a gray dress with a blue sash.  So everyone on groom's side is one color. Bride's side is a different color. 

charlotte989875

You're making this all way harder than in needs to be (seriously it was hard following who all was wearing what). Have your FI wear the tie he likes and have his bout be a bit different (I think H's was?). My H wore the same tie as all the GMs and everyone still knew who he was. 

STARMOON44

Is Men's Warehouse the boss of you?

surely not. Just ignore them. 

SP29

You can ignore Men's Warehouse.

Sure, making the groom different is what some, or maybe many, people do, but there are no rules about this. Just like the bride, the groom should be able to wear what he likes.

At our wedding, DH wore a 3 piece suit while the GM wore 2 piece suits. He also wore a lavender stripped purple tie while the GM wore plum purple ties.

Options:
1) Give either groom or GM a different shade of blue.
2) Same shade of tie but different pattern for them Groom.
3) Different pocket square.
4) Different bout.
5) Change nothing and not care- as said, Groom is the one standing up at the front, no one will confuse him for a GM.

Casadena

We had our guys in gold ties, including DH.  However, the groomsmen were pretty solid matte gold and DH had one with a gold design on it.  A little different but still the same color.  He also had a slightly different bout.

ahyatt87

DH wore the same suit and tie as the groomsmen. I thought he had the same bout as well, but when I checked the photos his bout was different from the groomsmen. DH also wore a tie bar. Maybe you could try a tie bar or add some cufflinks for a different accessory.