Wedding Etiquette Forum

NER (not really anyway): Black Tie Attire Question

auriannaaurianna member
Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
edited June 2017 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My friend is invited to a black tie wedding.
She knows I'm a wedding etiquette nazi (I think that's even how she phrased it).

She asked me what they are supposed to wear to that.
Her husband owns a tux so his part is easy. But she was wondering about herself.

I have never actually been to one nor know much about it but that didn't stop me from talking out of my ass as if I did.

They are thrifty folk so I said "does your bridesmaid dress from your sister's wedding still fit?"
She got excited when I suggested this as a possibility.

It's a simple, strapless, floor length, a-line in deep purple, satiny thing.
No silk. No lace. No glitz. Is this actually appropriate or is she going to feel under-dressed?

Re: NER (not really anyway): Black Tie Attire Question

  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I second @thisismynickname.  I was invited to a black tie wedding.  I declined because of the 4 hour gap.  However, had I accepted, I would have worn my very elegant, but knee length MOB dress from my DD's wedding.

    No matter where I go or what I attend, I can almost guarantee there will always be someone dressed better than me, as well as more casual. 
  • Thred up might be her heaven lol. It's a second hand website, but I've yet to order something that looks worn out. Most fancy gowns on that website are very reasonable in price. Or even she could consider rent the runway? Anything can be dressed up with fancy jewelry too!
  • I did mention to bling it up. She said she still has her wedding jewelry so that could work.

    However she hasn't tried on the dress yet and she has had twins since, so I will definitely recommend these sites to her if it doesn't fit quite the same way anymore.
  • That dress sounds perfectly fine
  • From an etiquette standpoint, it sounds fine. She will be dressed fine for a black tie event.

    However, she should try it on now so that if it doesn't fit, she can figure something else out. Also, BM dresses are pretty obvious (generally). She can draw attention away from that by wearing a statement necklace and earrings. 

    Rent the Runway is a good option - still expensive though. If that's not her speed, she may be able to find something on sale now from prom websites. If she's super hard up for money, she may be able to find something at a thrift store. 

  • I think her bridesmaid dress sounds perfectly fine but if she is worried about being underdressed or if it doesn't fit, I will throw in another vote for Rent the Runway. They have a good range of different priced dresses depending on what she'd be comfortable spending. H and I have 6 weddings in the next 3 months and I am renting for all but one of them. They are unfortunately almost all the same crowd of people so I knew I didn't want to repeat dresses and renting is saving me a significant amount of money versus buying dresses that may sit in my closet never to be worn again. 
  • I think her dress sounds fine but if it's not a great fit then I'd absolutely go with  Rent the Runway.  
  • Also if she wants to glitz it up RTR has a great selection of fun accessories. 
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