Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to charitably word reminders to my parents to rsvp to the wedding?


Re: How to charitably word reminders to my parents to rsvp to the wedding?

  • I wonder if the parents are worried that the guests will assume they are hosting them after the ceremony. It could be a very uncomfortable situation.

    Good point. I know I would be so mortified if my children did this! I was embarrassed over some minor etiquette missteps by DD but decided they weren't hills to die on. This however, would be a hill to die on.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2017
    Well, the wedding was today.  I wonder how it went? 

    I remember being poor.  I taught students in Maryland who were poor.  It is unusual that someone proclaims that they are "dirt poor".  Most of the families I have known who lived in poverty didn't want to admit it.  I do know one person who says she is proud to be poor.  I don't understand her attitude.  She had opportunities to get out of poverty, but she refused to consider them because she didn't want to change her lifestyle.  I tried to help her but she wouldn't listen.
    No reflection on the OP.  I don't know her circumstances, but the fact that she proclaimed her poverty struck me as unusual.
    Some of the nicest weddings I have seen have been very budget conscious.  Some of the worst have had huge budgets and they went over the top trying to impress people.  (I think everybody knew how much the bride's gown cost and how much each plate cost!)  Poor =/=rude.  Wealthy=/=polite.
  • This reminds me of stuff I was seeing about Steinbeck the other day. From a letter to a lady who had been a professor of creative writing to him:

    I wonder whether you will remember one last piece of advice you gave me. It was during the exuberance of the rich and frantic twenties and I was going out into that world to try to be a writer.

    You said, "It's going to take a long time, and you haven't any money. Maybe it would be better if you could go to Europe."

    "Why?" I asked.

    "Because in Europe poverty is a misfortune, but in America it is shameful. I wonder whether or not you can stand the shame of being poor."
  • I read a post on Facebook the other day talking about how the OP has been poor, middle class, and wealthy at different points in her life and how if her choice was to be poor or middle class, she'd choose poor. She said that if you're poor, you get help, but if you're middle class (especially lower middle) you get nothing and are then worse off than the poor. She said she didn't see the point or fairness in being middle class if she gets that classification but then can't afford child care, food, or rent when if she chose to stay poor she didn't have to worry about those things. 

    This was just one person's POV, but I thought it was interesting and accurate (in regards to the struggle the middle class faces).
  • Why don't you just call them and ask if they are coming?
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