Long time lurker, first time poster. I come to you guys on my knees.
I've read a lot about how you should not, under any circumstances, "fire" a BM or MOH. I was in complete agreement until this went down, which is why I am finally posting.
My wedding is 66 days away. I asked her to be my MOH 3 months ago, not too far out. Our friendship was great, and I loved her, hence why I chose her.
Something happened to her that completely changed her behavior towards me. I know weddings morph relationships, but hear me out. When I say she cried, she CRIED.
A laundry list:
-She is very aggressive towards my two other BM's, saying nasty things about them when they pipe up about cost or time constraints. I understand these things. She does not.
-She refuses to listen to my concerns about cost ("It'll be worth it!!")
-If I say "no" to any of her suggestions, she cries.
-When her dress came in, it was the "wrong" color (it wasn't, she got the same dress she ordered) and she cried. She asked why I was not crying, I told her it's her dress, she can change it if she wants to, no problem. I'm not concerned about colors, everyone matching, etc, I just want my girls to feel good about how they look! I told her this, she replied, "I'm crying for you!! ): ): ):"
-She made herself sick with stress over my shower, agonizing over little details...when I said "don't worry, just reserve the table at the restaurant" she cried about decor.
-She bullies me into changing things that don't fix her vision of a wedding. Example: my FH and I will take uber to our hotel because it is most cost effective; we don't need a limo. She cried about how "princesses don't take uber!!!!"
-When I expressed my hurt feelings about all of this, she dismissed me, saying that she was just trying to help.
I HAVE spoken to her about these things on THREE DIFFERENT occasions. I have expressed to her that I want her to be happy and not stressed. My "perfect' wedding is not worth anyone's anxiety. As long as we get married and no one dies in the process, I'm happy. Again, I HAVE spoken to her about these things, coming from a place of compassion and understanding, telling her that I want her to be happy and have a fun day.
At this point I am so hurt by her behavior, most of all her lack of consideration for my feelings and our friendship, that I cannot see myself staying friends with her. Her negativity worsens my own anxiety. I understand that saying that I do not want her there is a friendship-ending move, but I think in this case it has to happen for the sake of my own mental stability.