Family in Crisis

tinkerbell5679

I am getting married on 10-6-17 and my fiancé and I are having a really crummy year.  It is not crummy because of the wedding it has just been an incredibly difficult and sad year for our families.  In late January his grandfather had a stroke and passed away.  Then in March my mom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain Glioblastoma Stage IV and as of right now she is in the end stages of cancer.  His uncle passed of cancer last month and his aunt was diagnosed a few weeks ago.  So by the time we are married we will have lost 3 family members, one being my mom and another will be undergoing cancer treatment. No one ever wanted us to reschedule our wedding or honeymoon but at times I find myself unable to handle everything at once.  Caring for a brain tumor patient that is so rapidly declining is trying enough, having it be my mom is just heartbreaking. She saw me get my dress but she has missed so much and now she doesn't even recognize me anymore due to meds and the tumor.  I am just not sure how we all celebrate love when sometimes it feels like all we feel is loss and grief and our hearts are all focused on our love for our missing family. Has anyone ever had to deal with so many tragedies right before a wedding?

DrillSergeantCat

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I don't have any words of wisdom for you other than to tell you to spend as much time as possible with your mom while you can.

missJeanLouise

I wish I had anything helpful to add. I am sorry you guys are going through all this. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I am so very sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice except to make sure you take care of yourself while you are caring for your Mom.

southernbelle0915

I am so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. It's a LOT in a very short amount of time. If you don't feel that getting married this October is a good idea, then postpone....even positive life events are considered stressors.  Certainly no one would fault you for that.

OliveOilsMom

I'm sorry for all that is going on with your family.  Please take care of yourself too.  Caregiver burnout is a real thing. 

Weddings are happy occasions that help us all remember that life goes on and for the better.  Keeping that in mind might help you keep on with your current wedding plans. Having said that, if you do want to postpone, I don't think anyone would fault you for that.  Have a serious conversation with your FI about this and see what you both think will be for the best. 

If you decide to postpone, begin to work with your vendors immediately to transfer your deposits to a new date that hopefully will work with all parties so that you don't lose any money.  And if you sent out STDs, then I would send new ones out that say you are changing your date from Oct/2017 to Oct/2018.  If no STDs, I would just spread by word of mouth that you moving your wedding back. 

MissKittyDanger

I wish I had more to say, but my only thought is to speak to a counselor to go through your feelings. It might help relieve some emotions you don't realize you're holding on to.

I'm sorry to hear you and your fiance are going through such a hard time

sparklepants41

I'm so so sorry you are going through an incredibly tough time.

SP29

So sorry to hear you are having to deal with all of this, and my condolences for your losses.

It is entirely your and your FI's decision if you wish to postpone your wedding. No one would fault you for that. Your vendors may issue you a credit or be willing to re-book at a later date. If you do want to stick with your current plans, just remember that all you need to get married is yourselves, an officiant and a witness or two. Let go of those little details and only focus on what you need to right now- which includes yourself!

Take care

downtondiva

I am so sorry you are going through all this. It is very kind of your families to say they don't want you to postpone your wedding or honeymoon, but ultimately, this is up to you and FI. If you think that planning a wedding on top of the practical and emotional strain you're under right now will be too much, go ahead and postpone. I really think everyone would understand.