Wedding Woes

Only you can decide if it's a deal-breaker.

Dear Prudence,
My housemate has a habit that is seriously cutting into my sleep. Whenever she uses the bathroom, she blows her nose—and it’s obscenely loud. I can’t even work out how she manages to make​ so much noise doing this. Our bathroom acts like an echo chamber that amplifies all noise directly into my bedroom. So when she does this during the night or early in the morning (which she does daily), the noise wakes me up. I’m not a great sleeper to begin with, and it’s really​ impacting my life. I’ve asked her multiple times to stop blowing her nose in the bathroom when I’m likely to be sleeping, pointing out that she can do it to her heart’s content in any other carpeted location of our flat. Each time I do she apologizes profusely (and I think genuinely) and says that she “forgets.” She’ll be good for maybe a week or so, but invariably forgets again.

She’s generally not the most thoughtful and has a handful of other annoying habits around the place, and while they get on my nerves, I don’t bring them up because they’re minor. We get along really well in every other way and are quite close friends! What can I do? Reminder signs in the bathroom (that would make us look insane to visitors)? Is it totally nuts to ask her to move out (I own the flat, so quietly moving out myself isn’t an option) because of how she blows her nose? I’m sure I would also lose her friendship, which would be sad.

Re: Only you can decide if it's a deal-breaker.

  • Sound machine, sleep study, ear plugs. This is your problem not hers. 


    It sounds like the best way to preserve the friendship is going to be to find separate living locations OR to find a different flat without the echo chamber.

    Still, the OP needs to take matters into her own hands here.  You can't blame your poor sleep entirely on others.   Get a white noise machine and start to use it.  
  • This reminds me of my SIL - she's had to have three different apartments in the past year, and every one had "noisy neighbours" who were either talking at night, moving furniture, or possibly playing basketball (I'm pretty sure that one was not what she thought).  SIL just has noise sensitivity, and white noise, headphones, and even resorting to noise-cancellation carpet didn't help her.  Some people might not be suited to roommates and apartment living no matter what they do.  
    Meanwhile, I can sleep in a hostel with people turning lights on and off, talking, and doing whatever.  It can be pretty awesome.

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