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Just Engaged and Proposals
Is it too late for my engagement party?
Hey, so we got engaged middle of May this year. The wedding is October 20, 2018. I am now trying to plan the engagement party. I found a place I really really want to have it. It is a rooftop bar. The original dates I was looking at was August or September, but the more I thought about it it will be soooo hot at that time especially since we have no cover or shade. The next date available is October 21st. It will be cooler then, but I'm worried that it is too far from the engagement. I know I could just change venues, but I would hate to have to do that. So, is October 21st too long after the engagement to have an engagement party???
Re: Is it too late for my engagement party?
1) Yes, that's too late.
2) You shouldn't throw your own engagement party, other people may offer to do so but otherwise you don't get one - you can't throw a party in your own honor without being pretty tacky.
3) If someone else does throw an engagement party, think very carefully about the guest list. Anyone invited to this party has to also be invited to the wedding, so be sure the invitees are "must invite" in case you have to make the wedding smaller.
Unfortunately, you can't host your own engagement party. If someone offers, you can accept and then you should be able to provide a guest list within the number that they tell you they can host. Everyone invited to the party must be invited to the wedding.
It might be better to just have a party in October to celebrate "Fall". You get to have your cool rooftop bar and the right time of year for the weather. Win-win in my books. You can always host a get together with friends and family!
If your parents want to host an engagements party for your families to meet, then that is up to them, but after five months, what would be the point? Everyone already knows that you are engaged.
Why is an engagement party important to you? Why not just throw a party for your friends without the "engagement" label? You cannot host a party that is given in honor of YOU.
Yes. People can and will be excited about your engagement, when you announce your engagement. Having a party to celebrate the engagement itself 5 months in just makes it seem like you're trying to keep people from forgetting that this is "your special time."
But there are many other reasons to host a get-together at the rooftop bar! You can have a "just because" party on Oct 21, 2017, or start thinking ahead to special events in 2018 (eg, your FI's birthday party, your dad's retirement party, your friend's moving-away party, etc). Alternatively, just keep this venue in mind for an anniversary party a few years down the road.
So there's nothing wrong with an engagement party, and if the family/her friends are excited to have one, what's the problem? I know many people who had one hosted for them because the families hadn't met and they all wanted to celebrate the engagement. They're not for everyone, but they're also not so rare that the OP has to justify why they're important.
That said, I do agree 5 months after the engagement is too late. They're meant to celebrate a newly engaged couple, and after 5 months regardless of how long the engagement is youre no longer newly engaged.
Your bigger issue though, is throwing a party for yourself. Throwing "ME!!" parties gets a side-eye. Just wait til someone offers to throw one for you. If it doesn't happen (most people don't have engagement parties), then it doesn't happen. Put the money you save toward your reception.
I do think it's weird to have one so much later than when the engagement took place. And you should not be hosting this event for yourself.
I do think 5 months out is too far. The purpose is to celebrate your engagement, perhaps have family members meet if they haven't. But at 5 months out, everyone who would be invited already knows you're engaged and has probably congratulated you already.
You can always have a party for no reason if the Oct date works well for you, and I am sure people will ask you about your engagement/wedding still.
Check what I said. There is nothing wrong with having an engagement party when someone offers to give you one, especially for the families to meet. The OP wants one FIVE MONTHS after she is engaged. Why?