Dear Prudence,
My partner and I got together last July. We were very much in love and seemed to be a good long-term fit for one another’s lives. They were sensitive, kind, and witty, which was a winning combination for me. However, in recent months they have been increasingly irritable and critical. I’m very uncomfortable with angry behavior, in large part due to childhood trauma which my partner is aware of. It seems like they are always unhappy, and nothing I do makes a difference.
My partner is very concerned with order—they don’t like dishes in the sink, and everything has to be spotless, with every tiny little thing in place, at all times. I’m admittedly bad at remembering such things, but no matter how hard I try to improve, it doesn’t seem like enough. My partner is often critical and accusatory, and I rarely see any behavior from them that makes me feel loved. It seems my partner thinks that providing materially (home-cooked meals, supplies for a hobby I enjoy, taking trips, etc.) means I should have no reason to be unhappy. I do appreciate these things, but I don’t feel connected to my partner anymore. We’ve talked about this many times and I don’t seem to get anywhere with them. It makes me feel neglected and unheard. I’m wondering if it’s something either of us is doing wrong, or if perhaps we’re just not as right for one another as we initially thought. Is it time to end this one?
—Is My Relationship Over?