So, How's Married Life?

SP29

CMGragain said:

In the bad old days, "How's married life?" used to be a subtle way of

asking how you liked having sex for the first time.  Yeah, for real.

Nice!..... None of your business! Or, use Mrs.Conn's swing comment.

DH and I have been married for 3 years now (I always have to stop and think about it for a minute, has it really been 3 years?), lived together for 2 years prior, and dated for 12 years prior (we started dating young, in  high school).

Some people would ask, some specifically, "does it feel any different?". I agree that the daily things are no different, but there was a subtle change. A deeper connection, more of an "us", we are a team in everything that is nice. I do like to refer to him as my husband and be referred to as his wife.

People then started asking about kids. It really started to irk me- more so when people would assume I was pregnant because of X,Y,Z (I didn't drink anything alcoholic one time at a party, I felt nauseous one time- I get motion sickness really easy!!). Like unless you see the baby crowning out of my vjay-jay (which they wouldn't), don't ask! But I usually give a blase "I don't know, maybe" and talk about something else (I think we will have kids, just don't know when). It has finally slowed to a rare occurrence- I guess after 3 years of it not happening people have gotten bored.

*Barbie*

We've been married almost 11 years, together for about 13. We lived together for about 10 months before we got married, so it wasn't a huge change.
I don't remember the "different now that you're married" question, but the kid one was pretty annoying - especially after our daughter was born and the "when is a sibling coming?" - um, I had a rough, high-risk pregnancy, had preeclampsia, was on hospital bed rest for a week, then was induced at 33W6D, had 30 hours of labor, followed by an emergency c-section. I really don't have any desire to repeat any of that. I'm good with Wolverine being an only child. 

MissKittyDanger

*Barbie* said:

We've been married almost 11 years, together for about 13. We lived together for about 10 months before we got married, so it wasn't a huge change.
I don't remember the "different now that you're married" question, but the kid one was pretty annoying - especially after our daughter was born and the "when is a sibling coming?" - um, I had a rough, high-risk pregnancy, had preeclampsia, was on hospital bed rest for a week, then was induced at 33W6D, had 30 hours of labor, followed by an emergency c-section. I really don't have any desire to repeat any of that. I'm good with Wolverine being an only child. 

My mum never kept the issues of delivery a secret, so people didn't ask her much either.

That's rough though Were you both healthy post labour?

sparklepants41

@*Barbie* OMG that is insane! Hopefully you were both okay after the delivery - how long did Wolverine stay in the hospital before you were able to take her home? 

*Barbie*

MissKittyDanger said:

*Barbie* said:

We've been married almost 11 years, together for about 13. We lived together for about 10 months before we got married, so it wasn't a huge change.
I don't remember the "different now that you're married" question, but the kid one was pretty annoying - especially after our daughter was born and the "when is a sibling coming?" - um, I had a rough, high-risk pregnancy, had preeclampsia, was on hospital bed rest for a week, then was induced at 33W6D, had 30 hours of labor, followed by an emergency c-section. I really don't have any desire to repeat any of that. I'm good with Wolverine being an only child. 

My mum never kept the issues of delivery a secret, so people didn't ask her much either.

That's rough though Were you both healthy post labour?

I didn't either - people who were rude enough to ask got a response about it being pretty shitty to ask someone with a high risk pregnancy about having more kids. Yeah, I'm super excited about putting myself and another fetus at risk.

Healthy-ish. My recovery wasn't too awful, but basically had to recover from full labor and the c-section. BP started dropping post delivery, but took a little while to come down. Kidney function started improving. They had to induce me because I was starting to go down hill quickly. Wolverine spent 12 days in the NICU, but no lasting impact. Luckily they anticipated her being early, so gave me steriods and her lungs had fully developed. No respirator, and her feeding tube came out after the first day. 

ETA: I didn't even get to *see* Wolverine for the first 24 hours, or hold her for 48 between my complications and her being rushed to the NICU. Day 2, with DK's hand:

MissKittyDanger

@*Barbie* omg so tiny ! Glad everything turned out well and you're both healthy now!

sparklepants41

@*Barbie* so adorable! That must have been really tough for you to not be able to hold her for 48 hours! 

thisismynickname2

I'm late to this party, but to answer the original question, I did feel a change with married life. We were together a little over one year before getting engaged, and we moved in together oh, 6 months before the wedding?
I just felt more of the sense of security and establishment. That knowledge that we're in it for the long haul. A true partnership. My longest relationship prior to DH was 3 years but I never had that sense of security with him. 
We'll be married 3 years in September (holy shit that's only two months away) but our baby is due in roughly 3 weeks. So the "how's married life" questions died out and were ultimately replaced by the "how are you feeeeeeling" questions.   

JediElizabeth

I just got this question in a full-office meeting this morning. I told her (and everyone else I work with) that everything feels back to normal, since we had lived together for 5 years before getting married (3 years before getting engaged). 

I live in a MUCH more conservative town than I've ever been to before, and there was some pseudo-discrete pearl clutching. It was honestly weird.